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And Now From The Whig Delegation We Have This...

posted 1/6/2008 7:49:50 AM |
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tagged: whig
  DickSlippery

4 a guy who knows as many hookers as I do I sure spend a lot more time jerking off than one might think. Of course, there iz always the old argument that I'm a guy and there4 somehow more genetically predisposed 2 jerking off than some other members of our fine race. That's a bunch of bullshit. Besides, women jerk off 2...they're just more low-key about it. How else are U gonna explain the 8-pack of AA batteries that hangs in the checkout isle at The PigglyfuckingWiggly? Merchandising my ass.

And now I'm thinking it may have been a bad idea 2 get those dick pills from India that I bought off the internet. Not becuz I got ripped off (although at 10 bucks a fucking pill a strong argument could be made 4 it, I gotta tell U!), but becuz now my dick has a fucking $300 a day habit! I'm popping Viagra like they're goddamn Sweettarts over here! I'm taking 3-4 Cialis at a time like they're fucking Tylenols or something. They tell U 2 seek immediate medical help if U have an erection lasting longer than four hours, right? Well my cock has been hard 4 six fucking daze! And I still can't find someone 2 come sit on my lap. Ain't this a fucking bitch?

Maybe that's becuz although my cock has stayed relatively rigid 4 the past week or so, I am still experiencing a problem...um...in another area. I'm still blowing one off 2 quickly. I mean, it's getting ridiculous. I pop in a porno movie, and B4 I can get past the freaking 1-900-LIC-KASS ads I've blown my wad all over the fucking laptop. Try explaining that 2 the kid down at Circuit City. "No, I don't know what the fuck it iz...just fix the damned thing!" Plus, when combined with my a4mentioned problem, what U end up with iz me doing my RainBird sprinkler impression.

But at my age maybe I should be happy just 2 be popping one off at all. I think I'm just gonna go stand in the garden and shut the fuck up. If U need me, that's where I'll be

Keeping U posted

DS

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Comments:

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zena343

Jan 6 @ 8:37AM  
DS you're too damn funny,
straightup_9

Jan 6 @ 8:57AM  
Well. at least you're keeping busy....
whisperingcomet

Jan 6 @ 9:35AM  
I've said it before, and now I will say it again, I love you!...you are so far out of the box,did you know there was a box????
while you are in the garden,you might consider some DS fertizler???
DarkDesires99

Jan 6 @ 10:42AM  
Like the old saying goes, a bird (cock) in the hand is worth two in the bush.
I doubt that’s true, in your case you seem to want a veritable forest of shrubbery.
Now have fun in the garden but I don’t think you’ll find the bush you’re looking for there!


mrknowuwell

Jan 6 @ 11:18AM  
bush??? did DD say bush
Taisen

Jan 6 @ 12:02PM  
Thanks for the chuckle..I needed it

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And Now From The Whig Delegation We Have This...