At The Stroke Of Twelve Memories posted 12/31/2007 4:30:54 PM | 2 kudos what's this?     report abuse

casuallylooking

Oh hell, I'm already sitting here at the computer, so I may as well add to the New Years blogs.....

After all, ynot? Oh geez, I've seen it written that way so many times I tend to forget there really is another way to spell it. Isn't there?

I had plans for tonight and they got cancelled a little while ago.....No, I didn't get stood up. Stop laughing, cheering or feeling sorry for me, depending on who you are. Hmm, thinking about it, I've only been stood up once...the dumbass. Just kidding.

Anyways my daughter and son in law changed their plans so they are staying home and bringing in the new year with the kids. Usually we alternate years and I think I'm kinda hurt, cause it's my year. But they have been through a lot this year and decided last minute they just wanted to end this year all together. So that makes up for anything I might have been feeling.

I got invited to a couple parties, but have no desire to go to any of them. I think I've outgrown celebrating at midnight, unless it's with someone I truly care about. And I don't think I want to watch everyone else getting kisses at midnight. Not that I'm not happy for them but....well does that make sense?

So I'm sitting here reflecting on many different past New Year Eves. Some were great, some spent by myself, One I got proposed to and accepted, one I was arguing with someone I loved, he and I broke up a couple months later.
I know it may sound silly, but I believe you should never be somewhere you don't truly want to be at that stroke of midnight. I believe you shouldn't be spending it with someone you don't really want to be with just so you aren't alone.

My worst one--even worse than the one where we were arguing--we were at a party, it was about 20 seconds til and as he looked at me and said Happy New Year and the count down started, I realized right then I did not want to be there and I did not want to be with him. My heart was somewhere else. As he leaned to kiss me I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said I can't do this, I'm sorry and I ran out. I walked 5 miles home. Don't feel too sorry for him, he was a great guy and the girl he hooked up with that night thought so too.

I don't make resolutions.....but I do try to make sure I'm not starting a new year with regrets. You always remember what you were doing on New Years Eve.
I would rather spend it alone than with someone I don't truly want to be with.

Have you ever brought in a New Year with someone knowing it wasn't what you truly wanted to be doing or not who you truly wanted to be with, but went through with it anyways?

This is not meant to be a sad blog, or to bring up bad memories. It's all in the past and it can stay there....I was just wondering if people feel the same way I do about not being somewhere or with someone that you don't truly want to be with at midnight. Or does it make a difference?

To ALL of you I hope this is the New Year that brings you all the happiness and love you deserve. Be safe and be Happy!!

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