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Organic Vibrating Panties

posted 12/30/2007 5:24:58 PM |
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Well Folks...Now is the time to announce my new invention...The Organic Vibrating Panties. I can almost hear the cries...oh no Borty ..not again...but wait a new dawn arises in the evolution of panty research. Batteries and electricity have been completely eliminated to be replaced with small organic finger like projections that shimmer when moisture is introduced causing the panties to vibrate with such intensity that multiple orgasms occur with great regularity. They are completely organic making them environmentally friendly. Don't worry about the recalls of my other products ...just dump them in the garbage and I will promptly send your vibrating panties to your door. My lawyers have been instructed to compensate those unfortuanate individuals who incurred burns to the crotch area

Your Spiritual Advisor ...Sir Professor Borty....

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Dec 30 @ 5:39PM  
I don't think so! I am STILL waiting on the nipple enlargers I ordered many months ago! And I'm thinking you might be the one that sent me the 1239 bugs and 68 viruses I had on my computer as I refuse to send you any more of my panties!! I'm still waiting for my refund check on the exploding panties I recieved three months ago. The burns have nicely but there is still some scarring!

Dec 30 @ 5:40PM  
Oh you are ready to compensate.........I dont think you are going to get off that easy with Bentan.............ya know if you hurt him so bad that he can no may have to do his fucking for him.................

And i am not going to send you one more pair of panties to you..........until you send the 67 pair i have already sent you back..........btw..........the two pair you did return................were not mine............hell i couldnt get one leg in them.......

Dec 30 @ 5:42PM  
The burns have nicely but there is still some scarring!

Ok, what I really meant was the burns have healed nicely but there is still some scarring. I cut off my hair this afternoon and now my head feels too damn light for my a whole new meaning to lightheaded! Shiny green thingy tho for your efforts in the scientific field!

Dec 30 @ 5:43PM  
uhhhhhhh yeah.............about that..........

The pair you gave me to test dissolved..........did you
remember to include a disclaimer this time??

Dec 30 @ 5:45PM  
Hell no
If women pleasure themselves that easily MEN will be obsolete... you greedy corporate bastard!

Dec 30 @ 5:50PM  
Don't worry Canu....they can be used as foreplay as well...

Dec 30 @ 5:57PM  
I think you should have Bentan test them out for us first. I mean what is one more lawsuit if it all goes wrong???

Dec 30 @ 6:00PM  
Ok here's the thing.. I have your nuts.. I've been holding them hostage for the last six weeks.. if you ever want to see them again.. send the panties now..

Dec 30 @ 6:02PM  
Borty my man, do these panties have fake skidmark stains in them for a realistic look?

Dec 30 @ 6:02PM  
They sound dangerous but worth the risk!

Dec 30 @ 6:03PM  
Holy shit....I was wondering why nothing was happening down there....I'll send your panties right away Nacho....

Dec 30 @ 6:28PM  
I am thinking they should be tried out by the masses and reported on before I subject myself to them.......

Dec 30 @ 6:56PM  
What colors do they come in?????

Dec 30 @ 7:00PM  
Am I the only reasonable one that has been able to resist the sales pitches and promises that Borty has been making? Sure, I could have large $ lawsuits pending but how are you guys going to get blood from that turnip? Oh, but I also have no interesting stories to share about inventions gone wrong. I suppose I'll just have to learn to live with that...*sigh*

Dec 30 @ 8:05PM  
aforementioned nuts will be returned, in a plain brown wrapper, by courier service not more than seven days after receipt of panties. No claims are made as to the condition of said merchandise. They are sent strictly as-is.

Dec 30 @ 8:36PM  
<--------- wonders if they are edible also.........

Dec 30 @ 8:54PM  
Now Borty, you know that I have arleady done those, and they were a scream....Woman wouldn't wear um at work, people thought they had bugs buzzing. The men wouldn't wear them, cause they were constantly sexually aroused, and well you know what NORMAL people say about that!! But, If you can come up with a new pair, let me know!

Dec 30 @ 9:20PM  
Just how brightly are they supposed to shimmer, Borty?

The ones you sent me have more of a glow through anything effect when they come in contact with any type of umm.. moisture...

Dec 30 @ 10:11PM  
Dear Prof. Borty

Here at QC we have an issue with your latest and, indeed, greatest invention.

While these pppppppanties do not ssssspontttttaneously combbbbbust, the 5000 gigawatt lighttttt they generate when a womannnnn is fully aroused is bbbbblinding. Also, once mmmmmmmmmoistened, they just keep on gggggoing and going and gggggggoing.. any idea how to ttttttttturn these dddaaaaammm things offffffffff?

Dec 30 @ 10:31PM  
Prof. Borty

I'm sorry but after the last pair I have not been able to wear any panties due to the severe burns that occured. If you have this in crotchless maybe we can talk and I won't still sue your skinny little ass

Thank you
Lisa46 (sore lips)

Dec 31 @ 6:22PM  
wonders if they are edible also..

Must be or he couldn't make the organic claim

Dec 31 @ 6:51PM  
Christ in a side car a real fucking picture??????

Dec 31 @ 7:04PM  

Jan 7 @ 11:11AM  
My lawyers have been instructed to compensate those unfortuanate individuals who incurred burns to the crotch area

Egad! My coochie's hot enough as it is!!!

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