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surviving a zombie attack

posted 12/24/2007 7:33:38 PM |
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  40yearoldvirgin

I have been seeing lots of zombie movies out there lately. The latest is "I Am Legend." It seems that zombies are getting stronger, faster, and smarter. The only disadvantage that the Legend zombies had was that they were a kind of vampire-zombie that couldn't go out into the sunlight.

I have been thinking whether it will be possible to survive in a world with zombies like this. In the old days you would be able to just barricade yourself in a local mall. That has been my plan up until now. But I am starting to think that something more sturdy will be needed. So I am building an underground zombie-proof bunker that I will stock with food and water. I am going to make it big enough for me a five breeding age women, so we can start to repopulate the world when the zombies are gone. I am taking applications from all breeding age women for the five spaces. Hurry up and e-mail your applications to me. I'm sure the spots will go fast!

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Comments:

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whisperingcomet

Dec 24 @ 8:00PM  
well, i cant be a breeder, but can i come anyway???? Ill bring high heels
kingdongilingus

Dec 24 @ 8:02PM  
See, you have the right idea. I would push more towards a bunker with flame thrower type of windows, possibly grenade launching chimney stacks, take your pick.

Remember, you MUST not let them grope you man, you can get the Zombie Herps that way, really not a cool STD in this day and age.

I would, however, caution you against the use of Zombi-cides, as they can cause cancer prior to your brain being eaten. The FDA has not yet approved a good Zombie clearing method that does not contain Dynamite and/or Plastic Explosives.

Suggestions for Bunkers:
Machetes
Shotguns
Heavy Machine Guns
Spam
Chocolate Donuts
Those White Donuts
Possibly Alka-Seltzer, Pepto-Bismol
Death-Ray wielding Aliens
Terminators. (Only one per purchase please)
Really Hot Supermodel PRIOR to being molested by Zombies. You die happy.

I would photocopy that Application for Zombie Bunker Citizen though, make sure you have a check box, "I am not a Tranny", as they will slip in there if you ain't careful...........

lildevilgirl19

Dec 24 @ 8:08PM  
can i come although i wont be there for breeding
il bring hygeine products lol
40yearoldvirgin

Dec 24 @ 8:15PM  
Well, comet. You look warm soft and cuddly. I suppose you could keep me warm on those cold night. But devilgirl - you are of prime breeding age! We should be BREEDING!!!
lunanegra

Dec 24 @ 9:16PM  
Can always hide in a pub?
40yearoldvirgin

Dec 24 @ 10:02PM  
Hiding in a pub did not work out so well in Shaun of the Dead and those were the slow zombies. The Legend zombies crash right through walls. The bunker idea is the way to go.

Massive breasted breeding age females - please sign up!
Ashinatrix

Dec 24 @ 11:19PM  
I'm a pretty good shot.......ya have to shoot 'em in the head ya know
mrknowuwell

Dec 25 @ 12:28AM  
ash cant shoot.....jus sayin
paradox110

Dec 25 @ 12:40AM  
lemme know if you get more than 5 qualified applicants. Refer them to me, and I'll build a vampire proof bunker. (I've had a vasectomy, anyway, so the ones who aren't qualfied as breeders will be okay by me.)
canuhelpme258

Dec 29 @ 9:47AM  
My cigs are not yucky!

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surviving a zombie attack