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posted 12/4/2007 10:48:28 PM |
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  Looking4ever

You ever do something that while the whole time you are doing it, you are thinking, “This isn’t going to turn out well.”? Yeah, me too.

So, I have this bottle of Gatorade. I really want to drink it. I’m craving it. But, I can’t get it open. I try and try. I leave it for a few hours and drink iced tea instead. Then, I pick it up and try opening it again. Still can’t do it. I think to myself, “A man sure would come in handy now.” But, alas, no man magically appears to open my damned Gatorade! I set the bottle down and chew some gum. But, no, I do still want that Gatorade. “Aha!” The light goes off in my head! I can use scissors to break the seal on the tamper strip.

You see where this is going, don’t you? Yeah. And the whole time I am trying to work the scissors under the tamper strip, I am thinking, “Bad idea. You are going to get hurt.” Well, I broke that damned tamper proof ring AND sliced open the back on one of my fingers. Yeah. Really sliced it deep. No blood at first. Oh, but, baby! When it started it bled like a stuck pig. I’m dripping blood on the carpet and bathroom floor as I try and find the Band-aids. Can’t find them. “Oh, first aid tape. That will work. Nope, that’s silk tape and I am allergic to it. Oh, wait; there is a roll of paper tape. Do I need some sort of gauze? Screw it. Grab a cotton ball.” All the while, drip, drip, drip.

Okay, so I finally make a decision. Try taping a bit of cotton on over the cut. Not working. Can’t get the tape tight enough to squelch the bleeding. Screw that. Wrap several turns of tape around my finger, almost cutting off the circulation. As I type this, I’ve almost soaked through the tape. Going to have to change that. Probably should go to the ER but really don’t want to pay for that. I bet they’d end up just putting steri strips on it any way.

Yeah, so, trying to open a bottle of Gatorade with a pair of scissors is a really bad idea.

Especially since there were 3 other bottles of Gatorade in the kitchen I could have tried opening first.

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Comments:

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NightOfOld

Dec 4 @ 10:52PM  


Is that what you call being stubborn ??
Blackfromwaistdown

Dec 4 @ 10:56PM  
Ouch! Might be time to switch to Powerade. Yuck!
Lisa46

Dec 4 @ 11:00PM  
yep your my sweet self alright are you sure your not a blonde under all that hair I mean really
borty293

Dec 4 @ 11:04PM  
I did much the same thing last nite. I got a paper cut trying to open a cardboard box...I had a premonition it would happen while doing it, yet I cut my finger anyway,..it pissed me off cus I'm usually carefull about such things. I think its because I was tired and distracted and not really being present at the time. Makes ya think ..
Looking4ever

Dec 4 @ 11:23PM  
Well, I am happy to report that I am now enjoying my Gatorade. Funny thing is, it doesn't taste as good as I imagined it would. I'll probably only take a few drinks and put it in the fridge. But, dammit!, I did finally get it open. On my own too. And I never even tried opening one of those other three bottles!

are you sure your not a blonde under all that hair

Nope. Definitely not a blonde. Never have been either. Must be all the blondes in my life, rubbing off on me.

Makes ya think ..

No, Borty. Sadly, if I was thinking, it would have never happened. And then I wouldn't have the pleasure of cleaning up blood off the bathroom floor!
BigFlirt

Dec 4 @ 11:27PM  
Well next time bring it here and i will open it fer ya....
sumdaysoon

Dec 4 @ 11:30PM  
did anybody SEE you do it........??????? why tell on yourself then...........
paladin1aa

Dec 4 @ 11:43PM  
Remind me never to be around you when you have scissors !!
Ewe_Wish

Dec 4 @ 11:56PM  
So you have this sign hanging anywhere in your house?



Just Asking...........





Hope your finger stops bleeding soon............btw i do have that sign in my house..........
bentan

Dec 5 @ 12:10AM  
Oh crap ... better go have that looked at. When I can't open these things I use a sharp knife and press the sharp edge down directly on the perforations; no pushing along the horizontal axis of the knife since the point can be lethal.
Sweet_N_SaSSyTNgal

Dec 5 @ 12:12AM  
Especially since there were 3 other bottles of Gatorade in the kitchen I could have tried opening first.



Hope your finger heals soon...nice blog.
asnet

Dec 5 @ 12:31AM  
mfg dumb ... but saving your butt comes first:
get it sewn back together.
get a tetanus shot.
the pointed end of a beer can opener
(left over from the days of the real beer cans)
can be used to go under the edge of the bottlecap,
wiggle it around just enough to break the vacuum seal,
then unscrew the cap.
gatorade sucks.
i read somewhere you can make your own gatorade
by throwing some sugar and salt into a glass of water.
don't forget the food coloring.
mfg dumb l4. thanks for sharing.

TattooedRawkStar

Dec 5 @ 12:53AM  
Couldn't have been that bad; it didn't impair your typing.

Just sayin'.
casuallylooking

Dec 5 @ 1:03AM  
Hope it heals soon.....Silly Girl. Glad it wasn't any worse.
I was wondering if it was worth it once you did finally get to drink it....

You ever do something that while the whole time you are doing it, you are thinking, “This isn’t going to turn out well.”?
Uh, Yeah. Too many times actually..... lol
DeDe54

Dec 5 @ 1:09AM  
L4E, I hope you don't run with scissors!!! not a good thing gf, use a screwdrive next time
jezzarae

Dec 5 @ 1:22AM  
Deanna you are going to have to explain to me why you continued to fight with a bottle that had sat out of the fridge for 3 hours getting warm when you had cold ones in the refridgerator?? Don't make sense to me darlin........ but we lubs ya anyway.
delirious168

Dec 5 @ 3:35AM  
hahahahaha, omg, ROGLMAO

it's okay though, i stabbed myself with a knife trying to open a can of spam once, but after i lost a lot of blood i felt nauseous and didn't even wanna eat the spam anymore.

*sigh*

situational irony at it's best
openmindedguy71

Dec 5 @ 5:57AM  
uhmmmm welll it could have been worse right?
stormymisty

Dec 5 @ 8:52AM  
I think at one time or another every one has done something that makes them stop and think !!!!! They just do not tell any one....lol Hope your finger is better..
Thenewguy2957

Dec 5 @ 11:10AM  

I have the same problem with plastic wrapped straws at Subway. I finally get one open after mangling 4 or 5 of them. Good idea on the scissors, I'll keep a pair in my coat pocket.

Hope your finger recovers soon.
Looking4ever

Dec 5 @ 6:20PM  
Update on my finger...

Well, looks like I am going to be able to keep it. It was smarting pretty badly during the night and I didn't sleep well but the bleeding looked under control. I've changed the tape on it a couple of times and the edges are neatly together. But, darn, I think I have to fore go doing dishes for a couple of days (which, really, is no biggie...a single woman, that doesn't cook, really has little other than a few forks and glasses from the week).

And, that damned Gatorade bottle still sits there, taunting me in it's superiority. I'll show it. I will finish drinking it and throw that stupid bottle into the trash.
Looking4ever

Dec 6 @ 2:14PM  
mfg dumb ... but saving your butt comes first:
get it sewn back together.
get a tetanus shot.
the pointed end of a beer can opener
(left over from the days of the real beer cans)
can be used to go under the edge of the bottlecap,
wiggle it around just enough to break the vacuum seal,
then unscrew the cap.
gatorade sucks.
i read somewhere you can make your own gatorade
by throwing some sugar and salt into a glass of water.
don't forget the food coloring.
mfg dumb l4. thanks for sharing.

Does being an asshole come naturally or do you work at it.

Gatorade sucks? Well who the fuck asked you to drink it? Oh, no one.
borachone

Dec 6 @ 10:31PM  
next time pop it in the micro wave for 30 seconds the bottle expands and the lid pops off so cleaning the micro is safer than cuttin your friggin fingers off

Or drill right down thru the lid and use a straw oops no power tools for you sorry
paradox110

Dec 22 @ 10:48PM  
Your story opened with the question: You ever do something that while the whole time you are doing it, you are thinking, “This isn’t going to turn out well.”? happens to me all the time. You know your whole day is gonna suck when that thought passes through your mind as you're getting out of bed in the morning.

BTW: Just as well, that you couldn't get the cotton ball taped on. Eventually, you'd have removed it and had to pull the cotton fibers out that would have inevitably been "glued' in place by the dried blood. This would have been (1) painful, and (2) would have most likely broken the clot, starting the bleeding again.

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