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LOUD REPORTS REVISED

posted 11/28/2007 4:31:28 AM |

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borty293

I just viewed a video that Ash put up about an interviewer laughing hysterically at a man's high voice after his testicles were accidently removed during surgery and it reminded me of an earlier blog I wrote and here it is...

Why is it that at every ceremony I attend, be it funerals,church,weddings, somebody always unloads the loudest fart imaginable, causing me to breakout in uncontrolable laughter. I have been tossed out of more functions than I care to admit. My question to you is ...why not expell the person who farted...surely they are the instinkgators. I was simply reacting to the report. Now some of you probably think this blog stinks, that I'm a real asshole for laughing at someone with bowel problems...but hey...don't get your sphincter in a knot...I'm not the only bum that feels this way.
Your Spiritual Advisor ...Sir Professor Borty

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bentan

Nov 28 @ 5:24AM

Exactly my friend, always go to the root of the problem and not just treat the symptoms.

Looking4ever

Nov 28 @ 5:33AM

We've really got to get you a woman, Borty!

Ewe_Wish

Nov 28 @ 7:04AM

We've really got to get you a woman, Borty!
Yes, but apparently one that doesn't fart..........

borty293

Nov 28 @ 7:12AM

Don't get me wrong ...I think farting is an acceptable form of communication...but not at a funeral....

jezzarae

Nov 28 @ 8:20AM

nah bort ya got it all wrong. Funerals are the perfect place for them. Losing people you care about stinks........... why not prove it

hornytoad55

Nov 28 @ 8:53AM

Look at it this was Borty you aren't going to offend the person being buried with the fart or the laugh.

sugarnspice005

Nov 28 @ 9:05AM

I agree with Looking and Ewe....you need a woman...but one that doesn't fart. Cause if she farted...you'd never get off the floor from laughing

sugarnspice005

Nov 28 @ 9:08AM

*sneaks back in to leave a green thing-a-ma-jiggy on the table...looks around to make sure DeDe doesn't see it.*

borty293

Nov 28 @ 9:28AM

I think farting is quite attractive in some women..if it's done in the classical way and besides if a women farts around me ..I know they feel comfortable...

NachoBaby

Nov 28 @ 9:41AM

I want you at my funeral Borty luv.. laughter is necessary! I don't want a bunch of weepy moaning Myrtles there.. laughter and joy that's the ticket!

StraddleMyNose

Nov 28 @ 7:13PM

I usually crack up over the slightest little things too.

bentan

Nov 29 @ 4:42AM

I think farting is quite attractive in some women..if it's done in the classical way and besides if a women farts around me ..I know they feel comfortable...

I can fart Mozart ...

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