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Just blowing off steam.

posted 11/21/2007 8:23:59 AM |
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  fredfuerte

At 48y/o, and after 27 years of marriage, my wife has decided that intercourse is too painful, and everything else is disgusting. So, no more sex...forever! I know many of you will tell me to leave. It wouldn't be that easy. I have 27 years invested, certainly don't want to start over now, and have nowhere to go any way. Is it wrong to want an affair? My hand is getting old and just not doing it for me. I'm not a fat slob, nor a bowflex model, but I'm also not dead yet. Thanks for letting me blow off steam.

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slohand_47

Nov 21 @ 9:40AM  
Not sure what steps you have taken......... but lets assume this is a new condition. IF her only reason is.... it is painful......... A DR should be consulted. There could be an underlying medical problem that is potentially harmful to her health, let alone her libido.

Lets assume now that her health is ok....... consult the dr to determine why it is painful. IF she is menopausal you might need to use a lubricant on a regular basis.

Lets assume now that lubrication is not the issue and she just does NOT want sex. You may want to ask what her feelings are toward the marriage in general.
I have 27 years invested, certainly don't want to start over now, and have nowhere to go any way.
Does NOT sound like there is very much love left there. Are you a recent empty nester? Kids are a focus and mission. When they are gone, a couple is left with each other and really have no idea who they are at this point in life. Instead of courting someone new for sex.......... why not court each other and see if you can re-kindle the spark. An affair MIGHT be easier at first........ but IF she finds out and is NOT amused........ you just might find yourself "starting over with no place to go" anyway.
After all is said and done....... if she tells you to leave her alone and go find "it" somewhere else........ well, there ya go.

ladybootscooter

Nov 21 @ 10:08AM  
Slohand made all very valid points......or...........could it be that she found out your penchant for men as well? Not saying that is wrong, each to their own as long as it's among adults, just saying it could very well be alot of the reason she doesn't care to have sex with you. I had a very good friend who after 10 yrs of marriage found out that her husband was bi-sexual. It really messed with her head and killed that 10 yr marriage quick! So just imagine after 27 yrs? Just my .02
Lisa46

Nov 21 @ 11:13AM  
gotta admit IF I found out my husband was interested in men yep I wouldn't want sex with him either Like Slo said maybe you two wanna talk???
maggiemae1969

Nov 21 @ 1:23PM  
I must have taken this the wrong way cause you sound almost mean, I am gonna re read it later and try to take it a different way...... one question though...... would you do something that caused you CONSTANT pain? Ummmm like lets smash the same finger for several minutes.... or well .... no back later....
maggiemae1969

Nov 21 @ 2:37PM  
well so tell us what does the dr say? After your recent email , I am curious if maybe she is just tired and tired of hurting.
Fckmhrdtnght

Nov 21 @ 10:59PM  
Well for being painful

have you tried different positions... like her on top.... so she can control the depth...

and yeah the other comments about talking to doctor....

good luck

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Just blowing off steam.