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On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part One

posted 11/21/2007 1:42:26 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: whig

This iz a new thing I am starting. I will pick some subject (arbitrarily...why? Cuz its my motherfucking blog, that's why. U want 2 talk about some other shit, then write Ur own fucking blog...) spew out my opinion and then toss it out there 4 general discussion. Sound like fun? No? 2 fucking bad...

The subject I decided 2 go with this time iz an old favorite of mine...monagamy. Humans ( least, women) have been trying 2 be a monagamistic society 4 hundreds of years, with limited success. Back in the day this practice wuz much less prevalent becuz, well...motherfuckers died a lot. In order 2 survive as a species, the need 2 procreate had 2 be hard wired N2 our brains. Unfortunately, it only needed 2 be hard wired N2 one of the two genders in order 2 accomplish it's goal. That left the male of our species with an abnormally high sex drive and the female wondering what the fuck iz wrong with us.

But that's not the only obstacle monagamy faces, I'm afraid. Many of U may not be aware of this, but pussy feels REALLY good. An ugly bitch's pussy feels REALLY, REALLY good. When U combine that knowledge with the loss of blood flow 2 the brain that an erection causes U are bound 2 have trouble. Especially if the ugly bitch iz Ur old lady's sister.

Women have trouble understanding this simple fact. U always hear some broken hearted bitch talking about, "I don't understand. Why duz he want 2 have hamburger when he has steak at home?" It duzn't make a fucking difference, ladies. Do U know how many times I've been 2 the cookout and started off with hotdogs, only 2 then move on 2 chicken, spare ribs and finally a nice thick steak? And that's not counting the fucking potato salad, baked beans and green motherfucking jello with the little pieces of fruit or some shit in it. I figure, 'Fuck it...I'm already here, may as well get full, right?' Well, the same thing happens at the club. I know I have filet mignon waiting 4 me at the house, but I just saw a bologna sandwhich walk by and motherfucker, I'm hungry! My stomach iz growling and shit. I'm just gonna have a little snack right now, and that way it won't ruin my appetite 4 when I get home. Just like that...

Then U bitches always want 2 get mad at us 4 lying about it. "I don't care that U fucked her. I'm pissed becuz U lied 2 me about it!" What U fail 2 understand iz that we began a long time B4 this lying 2 ourselves. We tell ourselves, 'Oh, I love my bitch. I'd never do anything 2 fuck up what I got at home.' over and over again until we believe it. Then, cuz we believe this shit we are telling ourselves, we put ourselves N2 dangerous positions like going 2 the titty bar, or hanging out with an old girlfriend or going 2 a queer bar with the gay guy from work. That's safe, right? I mean, c'mon...I'm straight! What could possibly happen? Lemme tell U this much...after five Jack & Cokes and a Mimosa, U really don't give all that big of a shit that the mouth sucking Ur dick is surounded by a mustache and beard! It just izn't a fucking issue. Or, at least, it duzn't seem 2 come up.

Becuz the fact iz that every man will tell Ur ass he izn't a cheater. Usually, it iz becuz they are trying 2 cover up the fact that they are cheating. But let's be fair, now, not every guy in the world is double checking his dipstick. Some of them just want 2 and are lying about it. Either that, or they don't have enough confidence in their game (or are just plain old afraid of getting caught) 2 do anything about it, or they have already been shot down. Often times when the guy has been shot down by a chick he really digs, the relationship turns N2 this lifelong platonic love affair that both of them insist iz completely innocent. I have news 4 U guys. The only reason the guy iz still fucking hanging around iz becuz he iz hoping with all his heart that U will change Ur mind and offer him a blow job. I hate 2 break this 2 U, but platonic relationships are only such becuz she said no when he tried 2 get N2 her panties. Had she said yes he would have been naked B4 she got to the ess sound. If she said yes 2day, all that motherfucker would hear iz, "Ye-..." and he would be hitting the mattress and wondering what wuz taking her so fucking long!

I'm trying 2 be monogamous right now (with limited success). Despite all the shit I talk and the naked pictures that seem 2 magically appear in my email (I swear 2 God I don't know who the fuck that iz, baby! I don't even know anyone from Wisconsin!), I'm really not trying 2 fuck right now. Of course,that really could change in a fucking second. It iz amazing 2 me how quickly I 4get all about the people I love whenever a bitch shakes her ass in my face. Oh, I eventually remember again, but by then the damage has been done. It duzn't even take all that fucking much. It's downright scary.


Keeping U posted


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On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Three
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Two
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part One
Some shit I'm thankful 4...
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I'm still Putting off the Inevitable...
Just Another Lame Attempt at Procratinating the Innevitable...


post a comment!


Nov 21 @ 2:08AM  
(I swear 2 God I don't know who the fuck that iz, baby! I don't even know anyone from Wisconsin!)

Oh, yes you do!

Nov 21 @ 2:12AM  
Why U gotta be such a fucking hater? U cock blocking bitch, its a good fucking thing 4 U I love Ur sexy ass, or it would be ON right now!


Nov 21 @ 2:20AM  
Oh, baby, I love you too. Sure, you ignore me when I live minutes from you but con't get enough of me when I move across the country. BTW, I still have pictures from January and the trip to Wisconsin. They might be yours...for a price!

Nov 21 @ 3:35AM  
Name that motherfucker and be done with it then!

And quit acting like I knew U way back when and didn't want 2 fuck with U. U know if I knew U then I would have taken my own pictures of U in the shower, right? If U don't believe me, why don't U come on home 4 a visit, dear? Bring LadieDarkStarr with U 4 company. U'll probably need her youthful vigor 2 keep up with me and dixx anyway...



Nov 21 @ 4:19AM  
Maybe we'll actually make it to Vegas. You know, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Well, in theory anyway. I need LDS to keep up with you and dixxbitch? Ha! I think the 3 of us will go somewhere and leave your ass behind...and alone.

Name my price? nah. I'd rather see you beg.

Nov 21 @ 4:23AM  
And quit acting like I knew U way back when and didn't want 2 fuck with U. U know if I knew U then I would have taken my own pictures of U in the shower, right?

Okay, true. Strange to think we only lived 10-15 minutes from each other. And, it's not like I would have had anything to do with anyone that went to Rio Linda (freaking chicken farmers) or Grant (criminals!). I was way too uptight for that. Same thing for the shower pics. Guess you didn't miss anything no knowing me back then. Though, you probably would have done your best to try and corrupt me if you had.

Nov 21 @ 4:30AM  
BEG??? I don't beg, bitch, I whine. I know how wet panties get when a guy starts whining. "But why? Why can't I have some pussy?" I'll bet Ur getting horny just reading the shit. And as 4 leaving me behind? Ask dixxx what happened the last time that bitch left me alone in a hotel. Lets just say I found the bible and leave it at that. Maybe if U BEG I'll show U the video (That's right...there's a fucking VIDEO) of the shit, bitch. U think I'm fucking sick now? U don't even know...



Besides that, LDS would stay and kick it with me. U know, assuming dixxx hadn't strangled her by then...

Nov 21 @ 4:33AM  
Guess you didn't miss anything no knowing me back then. Though, you probably would have done your best to try and corrupt me if you had.

What makes U think that? Maybe the fact that I am doing my best 2 corrupt U now?



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On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part One