Some shit I'm thankful 4... posted 11/19/2007 8:23:12 AM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: whig

DickSlippery

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when we gather around the table with people we hardly ever see and pretend 2 be the people they want us 2 be regardless of how badly the real motherfucker wants 2 escape. The time 4 getting N2 stupid fucking arguments and coming out of closets. The time 4 pulling out both the little kid's table and the hide-a-bed. And also, I'm sorry 2 report, it iz time 4 my annual list of things I am thankful 4...

I am thankful that my kids are so good looking. Considering the women I had them with the odds were definitely stacked against them from the start.

I am thankful that I know so many FREAKY bitches (U guys know who U are) who love sending me pictures of theyselves naked as fuck. Shit just can't be all that fucking wrong with the world when that happens, U know?

I am thankful that those very same women live THOUSANDS of miles away as I prefer 2 remain married at this time.

I am thankful that dixxxbitch puts up with my shit. The woman iz a fucking saint, I swear. There are times when I 4get how lucky of a man I really am.

I am thankful that I gave Aqua Teen Hunger Force a second chance. OMG that show iz fucking funny. I mean really, really funny.

I am thankful 4 Viagra. 'Nuff said...

I am thankful that they are finally making a Sex in the City movie. If I have 2 go one s longer without knowing what's going on with my girls I'll just fucking die!

I am thankful 4 crack. If U don't understand why, then U have never smoked crack...

I am thankful that Duran Duran has another hit record. Who says dreams don't come true?

I am thankful that there are so many who agree with me on how fucking funny I really am...

I am thankful that none of U fuckers bothered 2 read my Rumors, Lies & Innuendos XVII blog. The less people who know I mentioned canuhelpme258 the better...

I am thankful that they are done making Matrix movies. I haven't understood what wuz fucking going on since the middle of the first one anyway...

I am thankful that LEGOs don't fit up Ur nose. Don't fucking ask...

I am thankful 4 DeDe54's...um...enthusiasm. U really want 2 show how enthusiastic U are, baby, release those puppies 4 me...

I am thankful that the federal government iz serious about prosecuting voter fraud. Those of U who know me are laughing right now. OK...maybe just snickering a little.

I am thankful 4 fat girls. I love every fucking ounce of U big bitches...

I am thankful 4 big titties. See above...

I am thankful I don't watch the NFL anymore. It makes it so much easier 2 see the New England Patriots kick everybody's ass...

I am thankful 4 The Inner City Diet. U get just enough food stamps 2 last until the 14th, and then Ur ass starves 4 the rest of the month. The pounds just drop the fuck off...

I am thankful that AT&T charges me .10 a fucking minute 4 my cell phone. It's just nice 2 get up in the morning and be able 2 count on getting fucked.

I am thankful 4 Patrick Swayze. Fucking Roadhouse ROCKS!!!

I am thankful EVERY FUCKING ONE of my 114 friends. My new obsession iz 2 have more people on my friends list than any other male on AMD. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess I have a few 2 go yet B4 DOMINUS has anything 2 worry about, but check Ur rearview mirror buddy, cuz here I come...

I am thankful 4 tattoos on girl's asses. On ex-cons? Not so much...

I am thankful that I missed the whole blog roasting thing while it wuz happening. The fucking pressure would have fucking killed me. I'm even more thankful U guys wrote one 4 me...

I am thankful 4 priceline.com. Do U know I recently got a 4-star room that iz listed at $235.00 a night 4 two nights and it only cost me $120. That's a beautiful thing, I tell U...

I am thankful 4 thong panties and the girls that wear them. BTW...low-rise jeans are a gift from God (I'm sure all U size 16s out there agree with me...)

I am thankful 4 Christianity. Do U have any idea how much material I have gotten from The Old Testament alone? U should see the video I made the New Years Eve they left me alone at the room with a bottle of tequila and a Gideon's Bible (If that duzn't cement my spot in hell, it just ain't finna happen, player...)

I am thankful 4 Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No, I'm not a fucking fag. It really wuz a good show, man. It surprised the fuck out of me 2...

I am thankful 4 every 6 foot, 180 pound woman on the planet. Makes a motherfucker wanna climb a bitch...goddamn!

I am thankful 4 my granddaughter. Even if I don't get 2 see her right away. Even if I never get 2 see her. I am thankful 4 her and I love her 2 death! It's fucking weird. I'm gonna knock it the fuck off B4 I start crying like a bitch...

I am thankful 4 all the fucking haters out there. U motherfuckers help me 2 keep it real, bitches...

I am thankful 4 Mike Epps. That's one funny motherfucker...

I am thankful 4 21yo redheads. If U ever met one, U wouldn't have 2 ask...

I am thankful 4 weed. It just increases the quality of life in general. My fucking life, anyways...

I am thankful that U guys don't mind that I keep on

Keeping U posted,

DS

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Blogs by DickSlippery: Duz This Mean I've Grown (or am I just happy 2 see U...)? 4 Those Few Who Give A Rat's Ass... DickSlippery Lives!!!! I'M SO FUCKING FED UP WITH THIS SHIT!!! DickSlippery 2 the Rescue!!! Part Two DickSlippery 2 the Rescue!!!! Part One Some Other Shit I Am Thankful 4... Waiting on the Governor 2 Call... Talk about a perfectly good waste of time... On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Three On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Two On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part One Some shit I'm thankful 4... BLOGGING 4 LACK OF ANYTHING ELSE BETTER 2 DO... RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO PART THREE RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part Two RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part One WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part Two WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part One Looking 4 my cheating husband... Not this fucking guy again... Yeah...yeah...yeah...so what? I'm still Putting off the Inevitable... Just Another Lame Attempt at Procratinating the Innevitable... Oh Man...Not This Fucking Guy Again...