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Some shit I'm thankful 4...

posted 11/19/2007 8:23:12 AM |
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  DickSlippery

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when we gather around the table with people we hardly ever see and pretend 2 be the people they want us 2 be regardless of how badly the real motherfucker wants 2 escape. The time 4 getting N2 stupid fucking arguments and coming out of closets. The time 4 pulling out both the little kid's table and the hide-a-bed. And also, I'm sorry 2 report, it iz time 4 my annual list of things I am thankful 4...

I am thankful that my kids are so good looking. Considering the women I had them with the odds were definitely stacked against them from the start.

I am thankful that I know so many FREAKY bitches (U guys know who U are) who love sending me pictures of theyselves naked as fuck. Shit just can't be all that fucking wrong with the world when that happens, U know?

I am thankful that those very same women live THOUSANDS of miles away as I prefer 2 remain married at this time.

I am thankful that dixxxbitch puts up with my shit. The woman iz a fucking saint, I swear. There are times when I 4get how lucky of a man I really am.

I am thankful that I gave Aqua Teen Hunger Force a second chance. OMG that show iz fucking funny. I mean really, really funny.

I am thankful 4 Viagra. 'Nuff said...

I am thankful that they are finally making a Sex in the City movie. If I have 2 go one s longer without knowing what's going on with my girls I'll just fucking die!

I am thankful 4 crack. If U don't understand why, then U have never smoked crack...

I am thankful that Duran Duran has another hit record. Who says dreams don't come true?

I am thankful that there are so many who agree with me on how fucking funny I really am...

I am thankful that none of U fuckers bothered 2 read my Rumors, Lies & Innuendos XVII blog. The less people who know I mentioned canuhelpme258 the better...

I am thankful that they are done making Matrix movies. I haven't understood what wuz fucking going on since the middle of the first one anyway...

I am thankful that LEGOs don't fit up Ur nose. Don't fucking ask...

I am thankful 4 DeDe54's...um...enthusiasm. U really want 2 show how enthusiastic U are, baby, release those puppies 4 me...

I am thankful that the federal government iz serious about prosecuting voter fraud. Those of U who know me are laughing right now. OK...maybe just snickering a little.

I am thankful 4 fat girls. I love every fucking ounce of U big bitches...

I am thankful 4 big titties. See above...

I am thankful I don't watch the NFL anymore. It makes it so much easier 2 see the New England Patriots kick everybody's ass...

I am thankful 4 The Inner City Diet. U get just enough food stamps 2 last until the 14th, and then Ur ass starves 4 the rest of the month. The pounds just drop the fuck off...

I am thankful that AT&T charges me .10 a fucking minute 4 my cell phone. It's just nice 2 get up in the morning and be able 2 count on getting fucked.

I am thankful 4 Patrick Swayze. Fucking Roadhouse ROCKS!!!

I am thankful EVERY FUCKING ONE of my 114 friends. My new obsession iz 2 have more people on my friends list than any other male on AMD. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess I have a few 2 go yet B4 DOMINUS has anything 2 worry about, but check Ur rearview mirror buddy, cuz here I come...

I am thankful 4 tattoos on girl's asses. On ex-cons? Not so much...

I am thankful that I missed the whole blog roasting thing while it wuz happening. The fucking pressure would have fucking killed me. I'm even more thankful U guys wrote one 4 me...

I am thankful 4 priceline.com. Do U know I recently got a 4-star room that iz listed at $235.00 a night 4 two nights and it only cost me $120. That's a beautiful thing, I tell U...

I am thankful 4 thong panties and the girls that wear them. BTW...low-rise jeans are a gift from God (I'm sure all U size 16s out there agree with me...)

I am thankful 4 Christianity. Do U have any idea how much material I have gotten from The Old Testament alone? U should see the video I made the New Years Eve they left me alone at the room with a bottle of tequila and a Gideon's Bible (If that duzn't cement my spot in hell, it just ain't finna happen, player...)

I am thankful 4 Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No, I'm not a fucking fag. It really wuz a good show, man. It surprised the fuck out of me 2...

I am thankful 4 every 6 foot, 180 pound woman on the planet. Makes a motherfucker wanna climb a bitch...goddamn!

I am thankful 4 my granddaughter. Even if I don't get 2 see her right away. Even if I never get 2 see her. I am thankful 4 her and I love her 2 death! It's fucking weird. I'm gonna knock it the fuck off B4 I start crying like a bitch...

I am thankful 4 all the fucking haters out there. U motherfuckers help me 2 keep it real, bitches...

I am thankful 4 Mike Epps. That's one funny motherfucker...

I am thankful 4 21yo redheads. If U ever met one, U wouldn't have 2 ask...

I am thankful 4 weed. It just increases the quality of life in general. My fucking life, anyways...

I am thankful that U guys don't mind that I keep on

Keeping U posted,

DS

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by DickSlippery:
Duz This Mean I've Grown (or am I just happy 2 see U...)?
4 Those Few Who Give A Rat's Ass...
DickSlippery Lives!!!!
I'M SO FUCKING FED UP WITH THIS SHIT!!!
DickSlippery 2 the Rescue!!! Part Two
DickSlippery 2 the Rescue!!!! Part One
Some Other Shit I Am Thankful 4...
Waiting on the Governor 2 Call...
Talk about a perfectly good waste of time...
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Three
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Two
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part One
Some shit I'm thankful 4...
BLOGGING 4 LACK OF ANYTHING ELSE BETTER 2 DO...
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO PART THREE
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part Two
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part One
WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part Two
WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part One
Looking 4 my cheating husband...
Not this fucking guy again...
Yeah...yeah...yeah...so what?
I'm still Putting off the Inevitable...
Just Another Lame Attempt at Procratinating the Innevitable...
Oh Man...Not This Fucking Guy Again...


Comments:

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Looking4ever

Nov 19 @ 8:36AM  
You forgot to mention that you are thankful for digital camera, editing software and battery operated toys...
loveableone

Nov 19 @ 9:01AM  
Wow, thats a lot to be thankful for!! Good job!
NachoBaby

Nov 19 @ 9:46AM  
I'm thankful I pulled myself out of my own prejudice and started working at reading your shit..
lifeizabitch

Nov 19 @ 10:04AM  
Roadhouse definitely rocks, and my tatoo ain't on my ass,
DickSlippery

Nov 19 @ 10:25AM  
DAMN DAMN DAMN

And we all know that lifeizabitch iz who the fuck I wuz talking about when I brought up tattoos, huh? WTF? (insert sarcastic remark here...oh wait...did that, huh?)
str8ngr84u2

Nov 19 @ 10:35AM  
I am thankful that you bring me humor whenever you are here!!
str8ngr84u2

Nov 19 @ 10:36AM  
OH and I do have a tattoo on my asss!!
DickSlippery

Nov 19 @ 10:38AM  
OH no, baby...I'm afraid U are gonna have 2 produce some proof of said tattoo B4 we can give U credit 4 having one there. Sorry...thats the rules.
Ashinatrix

Nov 19 @ 5:04PM  
I am thankful 4 all the fucking haters out there. U motherfuckers help me 2 keep it real, bitches...
You remembered me.....
GoDiva

Nov 19 @ 5:42PM  
Honestly, you are a great blogger....I am here for those and connecting.

I love your humor....you honestly could be a comic writer, really.

Things to be thankful for is hallmark......

hugs

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Some shit I'm thankful 4...