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RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part Two

posted 11/16/2007 8:47:24 PM |
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  DickSlippery

PART TWO - I KNOW THAT SOME OF U DOUBTED THAT I WOULD EVEN POST PART TWO OF THIS PARTICULAR BLOG, BUT AS I AM SURE THOSE OF U WHO KNOW ME REALIZE, I WILL POST A BLOG IN TWENTY-SEVEN FUCKING PARTS IF THAT'S HOW MANY IT TAKES 2 GET THE JOB DONE. SO RELAX AND ENJOY THE FOLLOWING. U MAY AS WELL, BEING AS Ur PAYING 4 IT ANYWAYS....

WTF is wrong with OJ? Did someone 4get 2 tell this motherfucker that Johnny Cochran wuz dead? I swear 2 God I haven't seen anybody try so hard 2 spend the rest of his life in jail since Scott Peterson copped 2 having been fishing in the same spot he had just dumped his pregnant old lady's body...

I have a special message 4 blkslut_4_Wht_Dom. Everyone else can just skip this part. SEND ME NAKED PICTURES. I AM ORDERING U 2 DO THIS IMMEDIATELY! I WANT 2 BE LOOKING AT Ur NAKED ASS OVER MY COCOA KRISPIES IN THE GODDAMNED MORNING! U BETTER NOT DISAPPOINT ME, BITCH! Just between U, me and the ashtray, I'll freak the fuck out if that works...

I got kicked out of the strip club the other day. It wuz fucking bullshit. I'm sitting there, minding my own business, when this fucking bitch comes over and says something 2 me, right? Well, check it out, I've been listening 2 AC/DC 4 like twenty some odd years, OK? I can't hear fucking shit, bitch. Especially with fucking Drop Dead Fred screaming "I'm 2 sexy 4 my shirt, much 2 sexy 4 my shirt" at 117 decibels and some hot redhead on stage shaking her goodies in my face! So I say, "What?" and she says, "What?", and I say, "Closer!" and motion her 2 move closer. She leans in, and her 38FF titties knock my $8.75 club soda off the table. Well, the bitch iz wearing a pair of those shoes that weren't designed 2 be worn by anyone who izn't on her back, and she slips and falls, smacking her chin on the table on the way down! She collapses, knocked the fuck out, and I reach in 2 grab her and keep her from smacking her head again on the ground, right? Well, my watch catches on the back of her halter top as I reach my arms around her and rips it off, leaving her 38FFs exposed and sticking in my face. Well, I did what any red-blooded american man would do. I put her titty in my mouth. I couldn't help it. It wuz a fucking reflex, or something. I still helped her down, but I sucked her titty, U bet. Which would have been fine, I'm sure, had the bouncer not chosen that particular moment 2 come around the corner and catch me sexually assaulting his coworker. Let's just say they asked me not 2 come back and leave it at that, OK?

It turns out that exoticangel has been spotted in several of my fantasies lately. U wanna see a bitch who iz fucking perfect? Go perv her profile and U'll see what I mean...

I swear 2 god I have been trying 2 work TastyCupcake N2 this fucking thing all night. The problem iz that she iz just such a lady I am afraid of insulting her with my crude attempts at being funny. I'd have 2 class it up a bit first, I think. Of course, were she 2 send me some evidence she wuz interested...some photographic evidence, perhaps...nothing 2 risque...maybe a little ass...or possibly an upskirt...what's a guy gotta do 2 see Ur fucking nipples, anyway, TC? Marry U? FUCKING CHRIST, ALREADY!

I've been learning Spanish. I just felt like broadening my horizons, U know? So far I can say, "Where's the bathroom?", "How much iz the tequila?" and "Wanna see my cock?" That should be about all I need 2 get by...

I recently met a 22 year-old Russian chick who writes poetry and Iz looking 4 someone 2 write music with. Yeah...I fucking need this in my life. THANKS A LOT, GOD! BET Ur JUST LAUGHING Ur ASS OFF, HUH? Rat bastard...

4 anyone thinking about what charities they will be giving gifts 2 this holiday season, may I suggest U make Ur donation 2 The Guiding Light Fund, a charity I helped set up 2 help give 15-17 year old girls from underdeveloped nations get N2 Charm School, with the eventual goal being 2 bring them here 2 the US 2 work 4 our foundation as...um...hostesses. It's a wonderful opportunity. Anyway...just throwing it out there. Hit me up if Ur interested...

I really can't see myself posting another blog without mentioning dumblonde's sexy ass. If I do, she may just hop on a plane and come se me, only not 4 anything good. No...I decided a long time ago that if I could seduce her N2 meeting me it would be fun, not painful. Besides, I may want another kid someday. BTW, bitch, how iz it that U have new pics on Ur profile, but I haven't gotten anything new since...well....um...NEVER? I guess it's pretty obvious that taking one especially 4 Ur boy iz just completely out of the question. No, that's O.K. understand, really. No big whoop. Could somebody please get me a tissue? Oh my oh my...no, I'll be fine. It's my own fault. I shoulda known something wuz up...I'll be OK. I'm sure I must look a fright, though. Please excuse me while I go 2 the little boys room...


END OF PART TWO - WHAT? I WUZ SUPPOSED 2 KNOW THAT THE FUCKING THING WUZ GONNA RUN LONG. WHAT AM I A PSYCHIC? COME BACK AND READ PART THREE...OH, I DON'T KNOW...WHENEVER. U NEVER KNOW, THE ENDING MAY EVEN TURN OUT 2 BE A SURPRISE!

Keeping U posted

DS

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I'M SO FUCKING FED UP WITH THIS SHIT!!!
DickSlippery 2 the Rescue!!! Part Two
DickSlippery 2 the Rescue!!!! Part One
Some Other Shit I Am Thankful 4...
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Talk about a perfectly good waste of time...
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Three
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Two
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part One
Some shit I'm thankful 4...
BLOGGING 4 LACK OF ANYTHING ELSE BETTER 2 DO...
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO PART THREE
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part Two
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part One
WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part Two
WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part One
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Whazzup Wit It, WHIGS!


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NachoBaby

Nov 16 @ 10:05PM  
Eh Senor, donde estas el banyo?

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RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part Two