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Looking 4 my cheating husband...

posted 11/13/2007 5:22:33 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: whig
  DickSlippery

So I can beat him 2 death with his own ignorance

Or something like that. Actually, i just wanted 2 let U guys know I really do read Ur blogs once in a while (U know...whenever I'm not 2 busy jerking off 2 some pic I recieved in my e-mail...). Well...if we are being completely honest here (and really...why shouldn't we be honest here? I mean, if this izn't a safe environment, then what iz?), I guess it would be a lot safer if we just said I read the headlines. OK...OK...maybe I just catch one or two of them on my way 2 or from the bathroom. But, hey...I read Ur shit! U can believe that much. Take that fucking shit 2 the bank...

Or don't...I really don't care anymore! Do U fucking people realize I wuz accused of being A FUCKING WHINER 2day? Are U kidding me with this? Me? A whiner? Not a fucking chance! Just cuz I wanted this particular individual (whom shall remain nameless, as well as pantless and hopfully topless...) 2 resend me some naked pics she had sent me like fucking AGES ago. Like I'm supposed 2 know where I put the shit. It iz a huge fucking hassle 4 me 2 find the pics she already sent me. All she has 2 do is pull off her top and snap a picture. How difficult iz that? Now, I ask U good people (the rest of U can just read along with us, but please don't try 2 participate as that wouldn't be fair 2 those who have earned it...), who iz really being put out here? And if I am the one being put out, shouldn't she be the one putting out? Yeah...I'm fairly certain that that iz how he shit works. At least, thats how it would work if our society wuzn't filled 2 the fucking brim with a bunch of fucked up, selfish, narcissistic industrialist FUCKS who don't give a rats ass that global warming iz fucking with my garden. I wuz expecting a bumper crop this year 2, goddamnit!

Maybe I just expect 2 fucking much of people. That must be what it iz. I didn't realize it wuz such a big fucking deal 2 send me pictures of Urself! I mean...it's not like I am planning 2 post them online or anything (*DS crosses fingers behind his back) like that. I just want them 4...um...study. Yeah...that's it...study! I'm conducting an experiment, and all I wuz asking 4 wuz a little fucking assistance from a friend, a fucking helping hand, but all I got instead wuz, "NO...not 2day, U fucking whiner!" Unfuckingbelievable!

So she finally fucking sends them 2 me, right (well worth the fucking wait, I might add. although she probably should have used a panoramic camera. We are talking about A LOT of titty here, after all. Much more than the average bear can handle, however, which iz precisly why I won't be taking any copies with me the next time I go camping. I might might be talked N2 taking the bitch who sent me the pics, however, since I got the feeling that getting caught in a fucking tent (or iz that fucking in a tent...I can't remember which...) with her sexy ass would be well worth the price of admission, not 2 fucking mention the cost of bear repellant!), and guess fucking what? She sends me THE SAME FUCKING PICS SHE SENT B4! I know they are the same fucking pics, cuz I compared them 2 the other ones she sent (U know...when I found them later. MUCH MUCH later...). Again, I reiterate...how fucking hard iz it 2 lift up Ur goddamn shirt? Iz this rocket science, people? C'mon...work with me here. Help me 2 help U...help me 2 help U...

Apparently, as a result, I now have 2 deal with bullshit like this. Swear 2 God. Its in my goddamned contract. (really...in the back. Look it up if U don't believe me. Section XIV, subsection B, paragraph 4. Down there with all the other fine print..) Has it always been this hard (the situation, U fucking fucks, not my cock! I swear 2 GOD I can't take U fucking people anywhere...)? I mean, all I'm trying 2 do here iz have a good time. Maybe get a little me time in the shitter with a picture or two I pulled out of my email. Don't I deserve that much? Aren't I entitled 2 a giggle or two every once in a while? I realize I could just go buy myself a Hustler, but I just can't see dropping nine bucks 4 a magazine that iz going 2 have all the pages in it fucking stuck 2gether B4 I even get a chance 2 look through the classifieds in the back and wonder whether or not those dick pumps really work (It seems like it should work, in theory, anyway. Maybe I should get someone 2 suck on it 4...I don't know, an hour or two...maybe three...however long it takes, U know? This iz science, after all. Just so we can see if the premise even holds any water. Any volunteers?), or I can spend $7500 (billed discreetly 2 my home phone) having phone sex with some fucking chick I don't know cuz I must be really talking 2 the bitch in the picture. Otherwise how would she know what she wuz wearing? I'm not a fucking idiot, after all. Besides, why would she lie about something lie that?

Anyway, I just wanted 2 get on here and whi-...um...blow off a little steam. No big whoop. I'll get at U guys later on. Besides, I have a hot date with an even hotter titty pic. Until next time I guess I'll just keep on...

Keeping U posted,

DS

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by DickSlippery:
Waiting on the Governor 2 Call...
Talk about a perfectly good waste of time...
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Three
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part Two
On the Subject of - MONAGAMY Part One
Some shit I'm thankful 4...
BLOGGING 4 LACK OF ANYTHING ELSE BETTER 2 DO...
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO PART THREE
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part Two
RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part One
WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part Two
WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part One
Looking 4 my cheating husband...
Not this fucking guy again...
Yeah...yeah...yeah...so what?
I'm still Putting off the Inevitable...
Just Another Lame Attempt at Procratinating the Innevitable...
Oh Man...Not This Fucking Guy Again...
Where the fuck have U guys been?
WHY WE NEED UNIVERSAL HEATH CARE IN AMERICA
Whazzup Wit It, WHIGS!
Greetings from The Great Beyond
Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Three
Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Two
Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Two


Comments:

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jezzarae

Nov 13 @ 7:10AM  
Life is sooooooooo hard for you sweetie isn't it. Here I got you just what you need.


Lots of cheese to go with all that whine.

Ashinatrix

Nov 13 @ 7:12AM  
I fucked him.....he wasnt that great.....
DickSlippery

Nov 13 @ 7:27AM  
OMG...Ash! U are such a fucking bitch 4 that one! Now, just 4 that I'm gonna fuck jezz in front of U and make U watch! And right about the time jezzie iz passing out from what can only be described as an ORGASMIC EVENT it'll come Ur turn and maybe that's when I'll just happen 2 get a headache or something...maybe I'll just decide 2 catch up on some Zs...I don't know, but my point iz U won't be getting any dick (unless U count when I finally break down and start fucking U, but I'm putting that 2 the side right now. What? I'm still a man, goddamnit! Occasionally I act like it...occassionally...)

kisses

DS
Looking4ever

Nov 13 @ 7:40AM  
Heeeeeeeeeeeeee'sssssssssssssssss BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKK!
dumblonde

Nov 13 @ 7:44AM  
BOO HOO, DS...
str8ngr84u2

Nov 13 @ 8:57AM  
About damn time!! Glad to see some things never change!! Good to have ya back DS...
NachoBaby

Nov 13 @ 9:01AM  
I'd send you titty pix man but you'd need a wide screen to see them all.. or is that a long screen.. gravity.. it's not just a good idea.. it's the law.
lifeizabitch

Nov 13 @ 9:55AM  
I fucked him to; he was in drag and I was drunk. As far as I can remember,he/she was pretty good.
Lisa46

Nov 13 @ 11:12AM  
See If I send you anymore tittie shots
dixxxbitch

Nov 13 @ 6:39PM  
Well yall I did fuck him and 13 yrs later Im still wet!!!! and tremblin
so

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Looking 4 my cheating husband...