A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar in Newark, thinking
about his wretched life, when he spots a fabulous babe
walking in on the arm of some ugly schlep. He asks the
bartender about her and is surprised to discover that
she's a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night,
amazed that someone so attractive could be available
to him.
The next night he goes back to the bar, and sure
enough she shows up again, only this time alone.
The guy gets up his nerve and approaches her. "Is
it true you're a prostitute?"
"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?"
"I get $100 just for handjob. We can negotiate from
there."
"$100!?!... for a handjob?.. are you crazy?"
"You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the
front door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari
parked outside. "I paid cash for that Ferrari with the
money I made on hand jobs. Trust me, it's worth it."
The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what
the hell.. He leaves with her, and gets the most
unbelievable experience he's ever had. This hand
job was better than any complete sexual experience
in his miserable life.
The next night he's back at the bar, waiting eagerly
for her to show up. When she does, he immediately
approaches her. "Last night was incredible!"
"Of course it was. Just wait 'til you try one of my BJs."
"How much is that?"
"500 bucks"
"$500!?! C'mon, that's ridiculous!"
"You see that apartment building across the street?"
The guy looks out front at a 12 story apartment building."
I paid cash for that building with the money I made on
BJs. Trust me, it's worth it."
Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it.
He leaves with her, and once again is not disappointed.
He nearly faints -- twice. The next night he can hardly
contain himself until she shows up.
"I'm hooked, you're the best! Tell me, what'll it cost me
for some pussy?"
She motions for him to follow her outside. She points
down the street, where between the buildings he can
see Manhattan. "You see that island?"
"Aw, c'mon! You can't mean that!"
She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I'd own
Manhattan!"
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