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Why Lie

posted 11/3/2007 4:21:42 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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Okay so I haven't really been on here as much as I used to be because I thought I found "the one" you know what I'm talking about that one guy that just sweeps you off of your feet treats you like you are gold makes your kids feel like they are his own well that's what I found things are great he is in the Army so we knew in time he was leaving to fight in the war and agree that it's going to be okay. Well he leaves to Alaska to do training and in time will be leaving to go to Iraq. Last Sunday I get a few txt's that say "Im going to hate myself for becoming the person i hate. myself" "Im gona loose my mind and soul including my job life and heart but i cant live a lie." "I love you. Im going to kill my self for being such a siner and now im in a biger one. I deserve to burn in hell" finally he picks up his phone and I ask him what is going on and he tells me that he was sexually frustrated up there and slept with someone that happens to be another soldier's wife of course I feel like I was kicked in the stomach then here comes the one that just ripped me to pieces... HE'S MARRIED I just felt like a piece of me died and what do I tell my kids being that they got so close to him the guy wanted me to look for houses do you know how stupid I feel right now? Can anyone make any sence out of this?

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Nov 3 @ 4:29PM  
First of all, stop beating your self up, he was the creep, not you, It only speaks well of you that you believe what people tell you, hold on to that, dont start questioning and doubting everyone else you meet.

As for you kids, I would suggest a simple "things just didnt work out between ???and I. There is no need to go into detail at this time,

Nov 3 @ 4:40PM  
Sorry for your deception. Like Wisper said don't beat yourself up. Now go make it a great day.

Nov 3 @ 4:54PM  
That really sucks!! I'm sorry you and your children were lied to and deceived. It's one of the reasons I don't let anyone meet my child. They are the ones that get hurt the most when the relationship ends.

Nov 3 @ 5:01PM  
Trust me normally I don't let my kids around anyone I date for some reason I thought this was different. Oh well time to move on...

Nov 3 @ 5:10PM  
And sometimes, us girls just have to put on our big girl panties and get on with life. I dont envy you trying to deal with heartache, while at the same time keeping a stiff upper lip for the kidos.
As fate would have if I am dealing with a heartache myself right now, I wasn't decieved or lied to, but family and career responsibles made it impossible for us to be together, we parted on the sweetest terms, loving, kissing, slow dancing in the kitchen. but parting none the less.
best of luck..chin up, smile on face, big girl panties, and we will survive. BTW, pamper and baby yourself for a few days if that is possible and then"decide" to get better.

Nov 3 @ 5:11PM  
So sorry to hear what happened. It's very hard being a single parent and trying a relationship, you don't only have to consider yourself but also your children. They are so impressionable and they just love's difficult! Take care and good luck.


Nov 3 @ 5:12PM  
At least he came clean with you. I know that this doesn't make you feel any better but that's something to think about.

Thank him for trying to be a man by being honest the second time. Tell him that if he wants to be a real man; He would tell a woman the truth the first time whether she will like it or not.

Nov 3 @ 5:13PM  
There are some other lessons to be learned: Don't let your emotions control and dictate the choices you make. For instance; Don't let your children get close to a man till you have had time to test him out and see what a real man he is. This effects both you and your kids.

Nov 3 @ 6:07PM  
There's no sense to be made. Some people are givers, others are takers. You sound like a giver he was a taker.

If you dwell on it, it will consume you and your kids. Put him and his memory where it the trash heap.

Both of my parents have passed away, along with one of my three brothers. The way they died (Undiagnosed Hep C, Cancer and Cancer) have haunted me for years, even though my dad died fifteen years ago, my mom nine years ago and my brother six years ago.

My inability to get past their deaths has taken a toll in my ability to enjoy life. I'm getting better about it now, and have started, finally, to move on.

The point here is - live your life for you and your kids, not for the memory of someone who, in this case, seemed to never really exist in the first place.

He ain't worth it. Mark it down in the "life can be a bitch sometimes", count your blessings that it wasn't worse than it was and move on.

As for your kids, it sounds like the will be better off in the long run. If he lied about something that major, what else would he have been capable of lying about, and would you really want that kind of person to be a role model for your kids?

You're not stupid. He is.


Nov 3 @ 7:36PM  
I'm sorry sweetie........its sad that this happened to you......but unfortunately it happens both online and offline...........when my kids were younger and i was a single mom.........if i was dating........i did try to keep my children out of my dating life as much as possible.......tho i also allotted some time for them to interact with someone I thought was see how they got along and reacted to each other.......because unfortunately kids do get hurt..........thats why there are a lot of ppl who dont want to get involved with someone who has children.......attachments are made......and if the relationship doesnt work out.....all parties are your case......unfortunately you met someone who is a liar.......and thank God you found out about it at this early of a stage......I hope things get easier for you..........just remember like WC says dont beat yourself up for this.........we all get taken in at times.........

Nov 3 @ 9:09PM  
Hi sweetiIE just went through the same thing several months ago and the guy did evenually leave his wife but it still hurt all the more....and i really felt like a heel...but there is light @ the end of the tunnel...Hugs your babies and never stop telling them how sorry you are and never under any circumstance let anyone you have met get near your kids until you are about ready to walk down the aisle with them...I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR YOU....

Nov 3 @ 11:05PM  
I also want to thank everyone for their comments you all are the best and appreciate all opinions!!!! Check out the update

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