My sister came out here which is the first time I've seen her in years and she just happens to have a really adorable kid so I opted to watch him while her and her boyfriend went out. Now, my roommates didn't mind because they're never around on the weekend so I was ready for a night in. I bought some popcorn I could cook up on the stove, rented Cars, and had everything ready in the den including his favorite blankie. He's a pretty self sufficient kid, so he got up off the couch at 3 years old and told me had to use the potty. I look at him and ask him if he remembers where it is and he nods and just gives me this smart kid "Yea, I'm not an idiot" look.
3 minutes go by and I don't hear flushing but I hear crying. Apparently he took a detour into the little computer area and was playing with the printer. He managed to get his finger stuck in some little silver octagon, it's that part where you hook up the cable and you squeeze the two at either ends to release it. So he's screaming and I'm just trying to keep calm. I can't cut the metal because his finger is jammed TIGHT in there, so I call up my friend who doesn't know what to tell me and he's usually the person that can fix everything, plus he has a kid so he must know about stuck fingers! So I'm flying solo here, and his finger is turning purple and he's just screaming at me like I'm the bad guy. I try everything, yanking it, massaging it, whatever I can to get his finger out. I ran around looking for a small screwdriver but of course I can't find any (the metal piece was screwed on) Then I get the bright idea of crisco oil. After leaving it on for like 5 minutes and trying to slide his finger out it worked! Unfortunately, the carpet and the printer is ruined. I'm pleading the 5th to my roomies for all the ruined shit. But we finally get his finger out and he's just looking at me like he hates me. It was totally purple but he could move it and said it hurt so that's a good thing.
The rest of the night was completely uneventful, of course.
I have now vowed NEVER to have children.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
read more blogs!