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How stupid can you possibly be

posted 10/28/2007 12:23:25 PM |
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  GoDiva

Haven't been on for a while and decided that I would blog some thoughts today.

I said I would never do certain things that I find myself doing, so what is this?

We establishd friendship but I said I would never do friends with benefits, I said I wouldn't short change myself by having sex with someone that isn't ready for a one on one, but still finding that I am doing just that. The late night booty call I get and there I go, running out the door.

I am absolutely addicted to him and he knows it. I love to please him sexually and he is the only one I feel for deeply. I wait for him to reciprocate on his own, not just sexually but relationship too and it's not really happening at my speed. I don't play games because I give in to my urges, still he takes and takes. I wait for a little give but it's like waiting for scraps. Afraid to give up what I do get because honestly, it could turn into more and I run to him.

Then I hope and I remind myself that he is giving us time and not quite there yet....so when is enough, enough? Should I continue with this and still see others? I never wanted to take on other lovers, but when I'm hungry, I eat! I find what I need when I need it.

What about all the talk about "he's not really that into you"? Maybe I am not being real.....maybe I am a fill in, huh?


Yes, I am serious about a one on one, but I am not going to starve waiting.......

Advice anyone?

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Comments:

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knightshadow2007

Oct 28 @ 1:29PM  
You say you don't play games; but yet you have become a pawn in his. If you want more than he is now or ever will be able to give you , then move on. Otherwise you will become if you have not already just another morsel on the snack tray..
31sunshine

Oct 28 @ 2:07PM  
If you aren't willing/able to set boundaries and fight for what you want, then you'll have to live for what is. It's hard to undo what you've already started but it can be done. First I'd start by being completely honest with myself and him about what you want and need.
Lisa46

Oct 28 @ 2:48PM  
what a difficult predicament we find ourselves in. I understand the ache and need and yes I understand the wanting of one man, who don't want a commitment. I also did the same then when he left I had no choice but to move on. Make it easier on yourself tell him your needs and wants and then see what happens.
zena343

Oct 28 @ 3:52PM  
You know it is amazing how many people out there that can so easily sleep with someone they have no feelings for! Not something I could personally do, but I to understand the need for the intimacy that you share with one special person, it just seems so out of reach!! For me to have a FWB would be impossible, sharing is not one of my traits, and even if they weren't with someone I still couldn't do it, just the thought of them being with me tonight and with someone tomorrow or next week,,,,,,,,just is not an option for me!! Sometimes I wish I could..........but unfortunately I can't cut that loose!!
smackahoe311

Oct 28 @ 5:39PM  
dam ya whyt peeps is deep
jennyleicester

Oct 28 @ 7:14PM  
I know where you are coming from. I have been over 3 years in the same position as you & still had no real committment from him. I stayed loyal, but that didn't seem to make any difference to him. we have recently gone our own ways because I think he knew I wanted more than he was willing to give, these men take but are very selfish & want a relationship on their terms, I just hope my fella finds a woman who does for him all that I did...be strong & see what Is in front of you & think, Do I really need or want a man like this? & yes you are worth more, take time out to think, I wish I had.
slohand_47

Oct 28 @ 11:11PM  
I really don't have enough information to form an opinion. You wrote:

it's not really happening at my speed.

What actually IS happening...... besids sex, that is. How long have you been dating? ARE you actually dating... being seen in public, going out with friends, family, etc,..... Or is it simply booty call only?

A relationship is more than great sex. IF you have any kind of relationship..... you should be able to ask what it is he is looking for and see if you are even close to being on the same page or not.
ynot7769

Nov 3 @ 5:58AM  
Yes, I am serious about a one on one, but I am not going to starve waiting.......

Advice anyone?

run like hell away from him..........say it with me...''you can't make chicken salad samiches outta chicken shit...'' he is who and what he is and from what your sayin here its NOT what you seek...........wasting your time thinking he's gonna change......but i wish you luck....
redbronze

Nov 4 @ 11:46AM  
cut your losses and get out

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How stupid can you possibly be