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How much is too much?

posted 10/25/2007 10:01:23 AM |
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When chatting with a guy online they will always ask me "So, how many guys have you slept with?"

How much is too much? Do you men out there care if a girl has been with 1 or 100? I always hear if girls sleep with 100 men they are sluts and yet guys sleep with 100 girls and they are envied.
I rather not admit how many I slept with, it's my own business....sooooo.... how do you guys answer a question like this?

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Oct 25 @ 10:10AM  
I am not a guy but i agree with you. It is no ones business what i did before i met them. If they want an test to prove i am clean i can do that but as far as how many i slept with it is not your business

Oct 25 @ 10:11AM  
I don't think I've ever had a woman ask me that question in such a direct manner. Usually women are subtle about it and really just want an approximation.

Based on a variety of conversations with several male friends over the years, I've ascertained that men are goofy bastards. No matter what the answer is, we'll find a way to perceive it as bad. Only two, she's a prude. 20 she's a slut. Just five, she must be ugly. See what I mean. It's a no win proposition. So what do guys want? Simple, guys want an easy virgin. A women that they can be the first to conquer, but without putting in a lot of time and effort.

So the right answer (to a guy's brain) -- I'm a virgin and I've been waiting just for you, but don't worry, I'm a sure thing.

Oct 25 @ 10:13AM  
I don't ask for a number, and don't care really. The only reason I even go anywhere near there is becuase of the turn-off, but all important talk about STD's. It's a matter of who the person is now. Chances are that if the person sleeps with 100 or more people, then she has something I don't. Anyway I know of relationships and marriages that fail, because one of the parties wants to know too much information about the other. Like you say, it's a matter of personal business only.

Oct 25 @ 10:15AM  
I disagree with funforfree. I don't want a virgin. I don't "conquer" women.

Oct 25 @ 10:20AM  
If 2 makes u a Prude, and only 5 states that u are ugly, what does it mean when u have slept with only one man at the age of 39. I I don't think I am a prude, nor am I ugly. So what does a guy think???

Oct 25 @ 10:27AM  
I'm amazed that supposedly adults [men and wouldn't be surprised if some women ask to] in this day and age, still asks that question! It's childish, insecure, no one's business and who cares anyway, except the person asking such a lame question!


Oct 25 @ 10:31AM  
Good point Sierra, even though it may be more socially acceptable for guys to "boast more broads" I think when you get down to it if you've been with 100 women or 100 men, you'll probably get the same reaction from your partner

Oct 25 @ 10:31AM  
None of your fucking business works for me!

Oct 25 @ 10:33AM  
haha! or if you're so stuck on #s, how old are you,? how much money is in your bank account?

Oct 25 @ 10:34AM  
I don't want a virgin. I don't "conquer" women
I fully respect and applaude you for that.
Unfortunately, based on the attitudes of the many guys I've worked with over the years, you're in the minority. For every guy that is genuine and considerate, there are about six that want to hump a woman's leg and not bother asking her name first, just to mark their territory.

Regardless of how politically incorrect and/or offensive what I wrote is, it's literally what many guys really think. I will add the caveat that most of those conversations were with guys in their 20's. As men get older, a lot of them tend to rethink this approach and outgrow the conquest dating model, but some cling to it as long as they can, postponing marriage, ending otherwise good relationships, etc.

Like I said, probably not what you, but I don't feel like there's any reason to sugar coat it. I don't have a vested interest in painting the picture a different color.

Oct 25 @ 10:36AM  
My personal opinion is: who cares? It's in the past....I'm the kind of person who lives in the now....believe me..if I spent my whole time living in the past...I'd be a basket case about now.

The past is the past....just leave it there.

Oct 25 @ 10:53AM  
I agree with sugarnspice005. The past is the past and I would hope if she had an STD she would tell me. Of course I'm sure there are some that wouldn't but WTF!!! It's nobody elses business how many people you have slept with. I for one never have looked at women any diffeerntly than men when it comes to how many they have slept with. I think if a man has slept with 100 women then he likes sex and if a woman has slept with 100 men then she likes sex. For God's sake why should it be any different for women than for men. I say we are all human beings and we all like sex. So what's the big deal?

Oct 25 @ 10:53AM  
As far as I'm concerned I just want to know who you are now. If you have a mannerism that concerns me I will ask if I think it was caused by something in the past. And unless you are getting flowers, or greetings from numerous males daily I don't see why it should concern me what/who you have done in the past. Oh and don't get the idea I would have a problem if you had male acquaintances or friends cause as long as I felt comfortable in our relationship there'd be no problem what-so-ever.


Oct 25 @ 10:55AM  
I would never ask such a question of anyone; nor if asked would I respond with an answer. It's your business and nobody elses.

Oct 25 @ 11:01AM  
I've never been asked how many I have slept with. Nor do I ever ask. Maybe some worry that it might be worn out if they have been with too many. Or men worry you have had someone a lot bigger then they are. Ever have that be the second question? The biggest one you have had?

I was told once that a man only needs 3 inches. An inch inch out....and an inch of stoke......All the rest just has you making longer strokes and tires you out quicker.

If the issue is a "wear out" issue wouldn't the question be better suited to asking how many times you have done it rather then how many men did it? You could of had a hundred men that only did it with you once each. Or one man who did it to you a 1000 times.

If the guy or gal is asking that question right from the get go then it will always be an issue to them. FOREVER..........


Oct 25 @ 11:33AM  
That is a question I never ask a woman. It's rude and none of my business.

As far as I'm concerned, the past is the past and it should stay there. As long as she's clean and was careful, it doesn't matter to me how many men she's slept with.

Oct 25 @ 11:47AM  
Probably better to ask "so how many times were you careful?" :)

Oct 25 @ 11:58AM  
I think you better check his ID, because it sounds like he's about 15. I like them younger too and all... Ask him how many women has he slept with..............who FAKED IT!!!!

Oct 25 @ 12:11PM  
I think it is none of my business. The past that didn't include me is not my business. I am interested with now and the future. The only exception is if you have a STD.


Oct 25 @ 12:17PM  
Oh yeah- I hope that has ended any thoughts of continuing anything with him because that guy treats his women like pets..on very short leashes. The "how many " question is a big flashing sign that says "Self esteem issues! Warning! Jealousy and objectification ahead!" That's the guy who waits til you're home and lays into you because you were smiling when you talked to the butcher at the super market. Issues alert! Issues alert!

As far as being a guy and the number of guys a GF has been with- I could care less as long as she was safe, and she's with me now so I win, they lose. Who cares!
I will say that I once tried to calculate Wilt Chamberlain(sp?) and John Holmes' numbers ( the both said over 20000 as I recall- maybe more) That doesnt leave much time for other things like the NBA or sleep. Charlie sheen claims 5000. And you are so right. Imagine a female celebrity making that claim? She'd be shunned. Hypocrisy runs rampant in our society. ( I will admit, I'd be proud as a peacock claiming 500! Or , even ...50 is a good number too...)
bedpost notches...


Oct 25 @ 12:22PM  
I don't ask..... and I tell anyone that asks that I do NOT discuss how many (or few) women I've dated and/or slept with, PERIOD. No exceptions.... and stick to it.... even on details that seem innocent. BECAUSE if you give up the innocent stuff...... it only makes you look more guilty (if I can use that term) when you refuse other details. So..... it's all off limits.
Got that advice from Cosmopolitan and it is RIGHT ON.

I will discuss my marriage and divorce.... but that's it.

Oct 25 @ 1:20PM  
So the right answer (to a guy's brain) -- I'm a virgin and I've been waiting just for you, but don't worry, I'm a sure thing.

I am so stealing that line to use next time!

Oct 25 @ 1:37PM  
I think the more important questions would be, are you sleeping with anyone else currently, and are you using protection and are you clean. The past is over, why dwell on it?

Oct 25 @ 2:41PM  
Did you ever stop to think that doing anything else would represent something better to do?

Oct 25 @ 3:16PM  
I think the more important questions would be, are you sleeping with anyone else currently

I so love your comment PK!!!

Oct 25 @ 4:37PM  
some people are stuck on that number..... some get turned on if you say a high number, and some get turned on if you say a low number...... just a personal preference thing I guess...... and to be honest with you.... who to fuck keeps track????? just kidding!!!!!!

Oct 25 @ 6:06PM  
I had one man ask me this after we had sex and my answer was "Enough for me to be as good as I am" His mouth fell open and he never asked again!!!

Oct 26 @ 12:14AM  
Good Grief!

I'm twice as old and haven't had the pleasure
with a third of a hundred!

I guess my teachers were right .....


Oct 26 @ 12:18AM  

Has nothing to do with your score card,

but I think your tongue could use a rest.

How 'bout you let mine fill in

Oct 26 @ 5:05AM  
I have to say....... VG has the definitive answer ! ! !

(wish I'd thought of it first)

Nov 5 @ 6:57AM  
Hmm.. I don't bother asking unless the topic of conversation happens to go that way. Quite frankly it doesn't matter! I 2nd Valentine's Girl opinion on the matter :)

Dec 31 @ 5:01PM  
Dont answer long as ur safe girl and enjoying yourself!

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How much is too much?