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Sometimes You Have To Agree To Disagree

posted 10/23/2007 12:51:17 PM |
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  casuallylooking


The other night I spoke with a friend of mine that I haven't talked to for about 6 weeks or so. Life has just been too busy. We've been really good friends for about 26 years. Give or take. We go for periods of time without catching up with each other, but when we do it's as if we spoke yesterday. Then there are times we talk constantly.
We are both outspoken and honest with what we think. Unfortunately she is very much against something I am doing in my life.And made no pretense of even being willing to listen to my outlook on it. To the point that I ended up telling her that 'I will soon be 48 years old and I do not need anyone telling me how to run my life. Including her.Thoughts, concerns, opinions, fine. But don't tell me how you feel and expect me to just do what you think I should because you feel it is the right thing to do. Key point being this is My life. And I will do as I choose, unless or until you can give me a more solid reason than you don't agree.'
Even though we sometimes see things differently,in all these years we have never had words. This one bothered me. But we finally agreed to just disagree.
So I was wondering, if you have your mind made up about something, and someone you care deeply about is dead set against it, Do you allow them to sway your decisions? Or do you stand your ground? I don't mean just shut them down and not listen to them. I listened to all her points, I just didn't agree. I guess I'm asking, are you a self made person or is it easier to just agree and go along with something for you? Do you allow people to make you second guess yourself and or your decisions?

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Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

Oct 23 @ 12:57PM  
Well Treas, as we talked about this after your conversation with her.....how much do you value your own thoughts and reasons for doing something? Are you confident in the choices you are making.........do you trust your own instinct......besides I am the only one who can tell you what to do.........oh yea thats right you dont listen to me either............
31sunshine

Oct 23 @ 12:57PM  
I have always listened to what my friends have to say, even if I don't agree with them. I really take to heart what they are saying because sometimes outsiders see what we cannot.

However, like you said, I have to live my life so in the end I will make the choice that is right for me as I am the only who can make the right choice for me. No, I don't always make the right choices either, but a good friend is there to help me fix my mistakes, learn from them and move on not rub my face in it. A good friend will accept my decision and love me the same.

I have friendships like this. That are secure enough we can be honest and upfront with each other but accept the decisions that each other make. No one has the right to push their choices on you, but you have the obligation to live your life in the way you can be proud of and can live with. Someone trying to bully you into doing as they think is not healthy, imo.

You have a great heart and will make the right choices for you, so rely on that and yes, agree to disagree with your friend.
Ewe_Wish

Oct 23 @ 1:16PM  
oops forgot to give you a green thingy and i have an idea i am going to have to be giving you alot of these pretty soon.................cause we are friends........right treas......right????
casuallylooking

Oct 23 @ 1:17PM  
thats right you dont listen to me either
Now Dayna, you know I do listen. I just don't pay any attention. There's a difference. lol
Yes, I am sure of my decision and my instincts. I honestly listened to what she had to say and why. You know that. But... I'm set on this. (leap)
rely on that and yes, agree to disagree with your friend.
Thank you, Nicole. That's where we left it, and we are both okay with that. Well me a little more than her. But we'll be alright.
casuallylooking

Oct 23 @ 1:22PM  
cause we are friends........right treas......right????
What did you do, Miss Dayna?????????
Yes, Sweetie, we are friends. But that does not mean I won't still take you to see the river we have talked about...I'm just sayin'... I'm scared lol
MamMan

Oct 23 @ 1:27PM  
When we truly trust our friends, and feel confident in their unbiased opinions...of course, we will seek out their counsel. They can share a view or outlook on a particular situation from a vantage point we are not privy to ( outside of our self).
Normally, this provides us with three courses of reaction to what they may offer:
a) Ignore them completely, as if their opinion has no merit
b) Listen to, not only hear, what they have to offer and be willing to frankly discuss the topic without fear of reprisal nor loss of friendship
c)Accept the input of whatever data they have to provide, determine it is the correct course of action for you...and, change your mind.

Should you not be able to come to a consensus, I would suggest that you both be willing to agree to disagree. We do not have to feel obligated to answer to, nor "cave in" on our beliefs, ideals, nor opinions to each and every human being on this planet. Not even those we choose to call friend. Be confident in yourself....but, be open to change. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Having this info will make you strong. I wish you well in whatever choice you make in your future.... because it is your life.
DeDe54

Oct 23 @ 1:30PM  
Friendship comes with good things and bad things. What makes you friends is you stick together through both good an bad, and never judge each other.

Had a friend tell me how to run my life, told her it was really up to me and not her! Of course we both laughed about it, and life went on.

We disagreed on a lot of things, and I would never want to change her thinking, she was a hoot!

She is gone now, passed away 2 years ago, I wish she was here to disagree with me now!! I really miss her!!
Thenewguy2957

Oct 23 @ 1:47PM  
With most people I can have a difference of opinion and end up agreeing to disagree but I do have one friend that has to turn a debate into a fight and of course he has to win the fight. SO we agree not to talk about certain things.
Lisa46

Oct 23 @ 2:23PM  
OMG Treas I think we are alike lol I say that all the time "I'm 47 yrs old and I'll do what I please" As long as I don't hurt anyone or its not illigal ynot??? At our age don't we know what is good for us??? And I ain't gonna tell what I do
lifeizabitch

Oct 23 @ 2:51PM  
My opinion: Always stand your ground; it is your life!!!
str8ngr84u2

Oct 23 @ 4:50PM  
I think it is according to what it is. Sometimes it just isn't worth the hassle. But for other things, I am steadfast. Don't even try to change my opinion. I think it is just according to how passionate I feel about the issue at hand.
knightshadow2007

Oct 23 @ 5:56PM  
I don't think I have ever backed down or allowed someone to change my mind right or wrong I stood behind my decision. Facing either the consequences or the rewards in the end.
asnet

Oct 23 @ 6:13PM  
I had one of these over the weekend just past.
It wasn't about disagreement.
It was about power ...
the other party prefers being in control and wrong
to change and being right.
Sometimes you just have to walk away.
ValentineGirl214

Oct 23 @ 6:54PM  
I've always been a big believer in agreeing to disagree. That goes for friends too. I will listen, but if I have made up my mind and that means I have thought long and hard about the subject, no one is going to change it, so I just agree to disagree. My friends don't mind either as they have as much right to do the same with me. It may frustrate both of the people from time to time, but you have to respect others life choices.
loveableone

Oct 23 @ 10:14PM  
Yes, I am 100% with AGREE to DISAGREE - so many people in life (including family and friends) may not always agree, but they too realize we are our own people and are allowed our own opinions and choices. So yes, this is the best saying, and I live by it all the time!

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Sometimes You Have To Agree To Disagree