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The Freak In Me...

posted 10/20/2007 2:52:45 PM |
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tagged: life, compassion, fun, love
  South_Of_Main

Okay, so some of you might be wondering what’s up with my changing moods and ‘tudes.. One day we could be talking and I’m all up for fun and games and then another day, I might be sort of quiet and withdrawn and in no mood to play. Jekyl and Hyde syndrome? Nope. Mental instability.. Not recently anyway LOL. Appearing to be indecisive? Well yeah, that’s the nature of the contracting business because there are no guarantees until that contract is signed, sealed, and delivered. Player.. No, I’m not that kind either, but like life is like contracting ya know what I mean?

What you are witnessing is not a figment of your imagination, but merely some of many facets of this life I lead. It’s not for the squeamish or faint of heart let me tell you. You have to have a sense of adventure and a real zest for life to hang with me, as well as having, a good personality, common sense, excellent communication skills, great compassion for others no matter who they are and what their background, and a slightly warped or wicked sense of humor is a huge plus.

So.. Exactly what kind of life do I lead? Single mom, respiratory therapist, travel contractor, all around generally a nice straightforward person who puts up with no bullshit and takes no prisoners. I work really damn hard and enjoy playing hard too. But as much as I love to play, my kids are a huge priority with me and they get the majority of my free time with no regrets or apologies to anyone. My work is extremely challenging, stressful, and high pressure at times. Some shifts are great and at other times its just plain shitty. I’m just as likely to be leaving my job at the end of my shift with a huge smile on my face or quietly leaving the back entrance with a tear running down my cheek.

It doesn’t matter who you are.. You could be a highly educated professional, the person who’s job it is to empty the trash, or the drug addict who we just discharged that I see outside bumming smokes and waiting for a ride to who knows where, while I‘m trying to taking a break.. Doesn’t matter to me, I’m going to treat you all just the same. I’m going to base my opinion of you and any further contact on how you present yourself to me. Does that mean I’m going to trust anyone blindly if they have never given me any problems.. Certainly not! I didn’t come crawling out of that pumpkin patch last night ya know. Does that mean I will befriend someone that I find displays constant negativity, mistrust of others, intolerance for others, their lifestyles (no matter how unusual), beliefs, or a lack of compassion for people in general? Not in this lifetime, baby!

I find it ironic that some people just can’t seem to fathom the possibility of having anything in common with ‘one of those people’ whoever that might be for you. Just as a side comment here, did you happen to know that one of the best chess players in this country is a homeless man? Interesting huh. He isn’t homeless because he is stupid or mentally ill.. In his own words.. Well he just drinks too much sometimes. I have to smile, at least the guy knows what the real deal is and isn’t afraid or ashamed to admit it. We all bleed just alike, we all have feelings, and we all need love and acceptance and not a single damn one of us is perfect.

So when you see me with that tear down my cheek, don’t try to fix me I’m not broken.. I’m quite human and a little sad because a cherished patient passed away or worst case, care was withdrawn and you know who was required to terminate the life support. Have to say that is the absolute worst thing on my job.. upsets me more than anything but thankfully not something I encounter regularly. When I’m grinning from ear to ear, maybe it was because those triplets who were born 12 weeks early at a hair over a pound or so each.. Well they are still alive and doing well. A little oxygen support but no longer on mechanical ventilators. Trust me, I was scared as hell when I was having to work with those tiny bodies but knowing they are going to be okay.. Or maybe.. Just maybe I’m finding myself to be a little more than crazy about someone special. Just makes my day! Do I have a frown on my face.. Well maybe one of my kids was sorta pushing my buttons by not doing what they should. Ready to get my freak on and have a good time? Well ya gotta blow off a lil steam on the pressure cooker sometime, love, just to keep that sanity in check, otherwise, well then I would be no good to anyone at all. Well, I have to say its been a rough week.. Anyone ready to get their freak on?

Peace Yall!

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Comments:

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PrincessKissy

Oct 20 @ 3:07PM  
born 12 weeks early at a hair over a pound or so each.. Well they are still alive and doing well. A little oxygen support but no longer on mechanical ventilators. Trust me, I was scared as hell when I was having to work with those tiny bodies but knowing they are going to be okay..

God Bless you for being able to do this!! M babygirl was born 12 wks early. Blessedly, we knew she was gonna be early, so I had Betamethasone shots for 8 weeks prior to her birth... she was on oxygen with a nasal canula (sp?) for 24 hrs after birth and then on room air after that.... was a freaking miracle!!

I hope you get a chance to get your freak on, girly!!
dridge

Oct 20 @ 3:22PM  
First and foremost a for you.
With that out of the way let me say that I've never heard life explained so eloquently. Life and how we treat our fellow man is simply a matter of common sense, which I wonder why they call it that since it doesn't seem to be too common. Damnit how do you want to be treated in this life? Then treat your fellow man the same and maybe we can all get along
I find it ironic that some people just can’t seem to fathom the possibility of having anything in common with ‘one of those people’ whoever that might be for you. Just as a side comment here, did you happen to know that one of the best chess players in this country is a homeless man? Interesting huh. He isn’t homeless because he is stupid or mentally ill.. In his own words.. Well he just drinks too much sometimes. I have to smile, at least the guy knows what the real deal is and isn’t afraid or ashamed to admit it. We all bleed just alike, we all have feelings, and we all need love and acceptance and not a single damn one of us is perfect
How could it be put any more plainly. We all have to live on this ball you know.
Thank you for this blog. It really needed to be said and you hit a homer with it.

Peace,

Don
DeDe54

Oct 20 @ 3:24PM  
The spirits are with you my friend. If more people were like you, the earth would be so much better.

Now no one get there panties in a bunch, I'm not saying shes the only one with these qualities!!!
South_Of_Main

Oct 20 @ 3:47PM  
Thank you everyone.
ladybootscooter

Oct 20 @ 4:07PM  
You have my deepest respect both for your job and it's responsiblities and the fact that you're a single mom. That is in and of itself one of the hardest jobs in the world. Having a job where I can smile, laugh or even cry a tear of joy one moment and hide the tears of sadness the next I do understand some of your stress. Kudos to you and any time you need to vent or just want to shout for joy...you know where I am!
Argit01

Oct 20 @ 4:36PM  
I happen to agree with the comments posted so far. You make for a refreshing change to this site.
thundercock007

Oct 20 @ 4:40PM  
a beautiful blog. i applaud you for your compassion as a mom, as a caregiver, and as a good person. keep riding that roller coaster called life. the world needs more people like you who care. as for getting your freak on, well...

nice job.
South_Of_Main

Oct 20 @ 4:50PM  
^^^^^ I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at that! Agreed AMD Ladies?

StraddleMyNose

Oct 20 @ 5:19PM  
I agree with the comments here.
Pudge2you

Oct 22 @ 9:05AM  
"She's a very sexy girrrrlllll.... The kind you don't bring home to mutha........."

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The Freak In Me...