Some person posted this on the BOSTON CL.
How many times does one need to forgive for the same mistakes, repeated over and over again.
Sometimes you may forgive, will never forget
Will hit the nail as many times as needed before leaving
When they continue what drives you apart, with no consideration to your feelings...
it says a lot about them and their investment in making things right again
Gets exhausting and isn't worth the amount of misery they bring
HERE IS MY TAKE ON THIS.
I still don't understand why? Why they push away when after realizing and admitting your fault are trying to rebuild a strong based future for both of you. My 2 cents "If you have forgiven, you have forgotten."
There was no Love if you can't forget after forgiving. Try forgiving along with forgetting and notice the difference you make to your life.
If the woman is ready to rekindle the romance, I will be the most happiest person. She hasn't treated me that good, and I 've forgotten along with forgiven because I am more concerned about the future. The past is gone long time back.
Forgiving but not forgetting, is holding grudges against the past. I am no priest, but this is what I learned in life.
WHAT'S YOUR TAKE?
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Lisa46
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Oct 16 @ 10:01AM
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I'm sorry but due to experience if it continues and the same "mistakes" keep happening see ya bye bye. You my friend are just being used and abused and she isn't worth your time and efforts. But that is just my .02 cents work worth
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str8ngr84u2
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Oct 16 @ 10:04AM
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I totally disagree..It is not possible to forget. You can pretend to forget, but in reality it is all what makes us who we are. If you truly were to forget you would be travelling the same roads over and over again instead of finding the new roads to travel. Its a nice concept to forgive and forget--just not possible.
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Ewe_Wish
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Oct 16 @ 10:10AM
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I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. ~Henry Ward Beecher
"Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time - just like it does for you and me."
-- Sara Paddison
If i am wrong I will apologize, what that person does with the apology is their business, I don't apologize for forgiveness, I apologize because I was wrong and am honest enough with myself to admit when I am wrong. When someone apologizes to me, I accept the fact that they are being honest with themselves enough to admit they were wrong, I usually choose to forgive them as I dont want to live with a resentment against anyone.
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max49
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Oct 16 @ 10:29AM
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I have to agree with Lisa. I think everyone deserves a second chance and sometimes even a third but when the same mistakes are made over and over again it's time to move on. That's my worthless .02 cents worth.
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ynot7769
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Oct 16 @ 11:08AM
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i think i forgive ...........just not sure the idea of forgetting is so good..............
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veeruinus
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Oct 16 @ 11:16AM
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Again i would like to ask, what if the person is genuinely making an effort to establish trust. And this time there is not going to be any hurt or repeat of the same pattern. Why would you claim that there was love when there is no forgetting? Love is always unconditional. Conditional love is not love. And especially the person has realized what wrong was done.
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casuallylooking
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Oct 16 @ 11:34AM
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If i am wrong I will apologize, what that person does with the apology is their business, I don't apologize for forgiveness, I apologize because I was wrong and am honest enough with myself to admit when I am wrong. Yeap. that's how I feel about it. And if I apologize, I really mean it. I don't just throw those words out if I don't mean them. For some people the easiest way to get out of just about anything , including blame is either tell someone they love them or they're so sorry when they mean neither. But I guess that falls into the honesty catagory.
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casuallylooking
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Oct 16 @ 11:47AM
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everyone deserves a second chance and sometimes even a third I disagree. Not everyone 'deserves' another chance. It depends on the circumstances and what happened. The next chance doesn't just come automatically. And sometimes, it also depends on why someone did something, whether it can be considered doing the same thing. There can be circumstances there too.
Love is always unconditional. Again, I disagree. But I do believe that love is accepting faults and flaws and loving that person regardless of them. Everyone makes mistakes. And sometimes people can't forgive someone else's mistakes because they can't admit to their own first.
If I didn't believe in forgivenes I would have missed some happy times in my life.
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Dominus
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Oct 16 @ 12:47PM
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I will say that if you are wise there can never be the opportunity to forget, but neither can their really be the opportunity to forgive in the strictest sense of the word. To "forgive and forget" means to just let the entire incident go. To let it disappear. Well, if you are a wise individual should you not learn not only from your mistakes but from the mistakes of others as well.
There should be no forgiveness, because by definition that means to absolve or grant pardon. If that is done, you are in essence saying the event was insignificant and there are very few insignificant events.
To forget something makes it insignificant, and so therefore trivializes it.
Shouldn't we instead of saying "let's forgive and forget" be saying: "Let's both work together and learn from this."
Or is saying "forgive and forget" just another way to avoid saying "I'm sorry?"
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DeDe54
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Oct 16 @ 1:40PM
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After you have been cheated on, dumped, lied to, your self esteem grounded into a mud puddle, etc., its easy to say your sorry, lets try again. So you do it, cause you really do love this person.
Its the trust that is gone, forgiving and forgetting is the easy part. Once the trust is gone, there is nothing.
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Ewe_Wish
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Oct 16 @ 1:44PM
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Its the trust that is gone, forgiving and forgetting is the easy part. Once the trust is gone, there is nothing  DeDe you are my hero...................no truer words have ever been spoken. 
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veeruinus
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Oct 16 @ 1:51PM
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what if there was no cheating. it was circumstancial hurt. would the trust still be gone? and sir dom, i agree with the learning part. thats when you try and improve and not commit the same mistake over. But is it too late to forgive ever when circumstancial hurt is there? my mind has just gone blank thinking over and over.
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zena343
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Oct 16 @ 2:38PM
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Well Veer, forgiving is the easy part......forgeting I don't think is possible. But there is only so much water under the bridge before it breaks!! If the same mistakes are made repeatedly obviously the person has not learned from their mistakes. Also I guess it would depend on the mistake, if it is lying or a trust issue then I tend to feel they are unforgiveable. See you need trust and respect without these and other qualities in a person, how can there be any kind of a relationship. For me there couldn't be!! Best of luck to you, and hope you can figure out if it is worth your sanity. Been there done that and it wasn't worth mine after so many years.
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Lisa46
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Oct 16 @ 2:56PM
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Well Veer, forgiving is the easy part......forgeting I don't think is possible.
No truer words ever spoken!!! Yes I have forgiven in the past but no i've not forgotten
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ValentineGirl214
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Oct 16 @ 7:09PM
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I can and have forgiven, but forgetting is not something I do, I want to learn from the experience so I don't make the same mistake again. If I forget, where's the lesson learned? Will I keep throwing it up in their face? Not if we both learned from it and didn't keep doing it again.
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mzhunyhole
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Oct 16 @ 9:00PM
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Alot of things can be forgiven..but not always forgotten,no matter how hard ya try to erase them.
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veeruinus
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Oct 18 @ 1:24PM
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Thank You everyone for your input. Now only if i could understand this philosophy of life. 
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