AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

How to I tell him how I feel about him?

posted 10/14/2007 9:52:57 PM |
2 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
  alybai42

No I didn't meet him on AMD. We have known each other for two months now. He just wants to be friends. He got hurt by his ex wife. That was 3 years ago. I don't want to lose his friendship. But I also want to tell him that I would like to be more than friends. Not FWB'S either.
I have left it as friends because I was afraid of losing him as a friend and if anything else went beyond that. And so far it hasn't. We get along great.
I never call him. He contacts me. He will either get a hold of me a few times a week or go for a week without contacting me. I know he is not seeing anyone else.
Maybe I should just leave things the way they are? And not tell him that I would like to be more than friends. I don't want to scare him away. And like I said lose a great friend.

What would you do

I be Tammy. I be confussed.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by alybai42:
Another thought going through
Where do the years go?
I tried and it didn't work out
Friends
Not a good week and it is not getting any better.
How to I tell him how I feel about him?
Call me weird, Call me strange
Can you trust someone you met online? It start's with E-Mail's
Four little words than mean so much
I need a hug bad


Comments:

post a comment!

candlelitgirl

Oct 14 @ 10:02PM  
Coming from a similar painful; experience the best thing to do is to leave him be for awhile and let him make the first move ...He is feeling vunerable now and is scared of getting hurt so give him some breathing room .Wll that is what I would do////
ynot7769

Oct 14 @ 10:06PM  
hey ....i agree with CL..... ............just wait.....for now ...n see what happens.......
ynot7769

Oct 14 @ 10:06PM  
*runs back in n leaves his LAST kudo *




*didn't know wtf to do with it anyway*
Fckmhrdtnght

Oct 14 @ 10:18PM  
If he is willing to read.... a great present that I pass on to friends....

book.... Starting Over by John Gray

The only risk of sitting by being a good friend..... is that he might never make a move because he doesn't want to risk the friendship. I had a male friend tell me about a gal friend of his... when I told him that great relationships can be based on great friendship and he was willing to try after she had been expressing interest for a long time... he was too late, she got tired of waiting and she was dating someone.

I have two male friends that come from similar situation... I was interested in both of them however only talked to them... friends... one just got married and the other is dating another gal.

BTW, despite being disappointed that they weren't interested in dating, I have since met a most intriguing man...

so who knows the right answer....

you do... trust your instincts..



NightOfOld

Oct 14 @ 10:21PM  

I also agree with CL and Ynot. Sometimes it takes a while to get over a hurt.
Sometimes it takes a while to realize that he really does care for You. The
fact he is not seeing anyone else, and calls you frequently is a good sign.
chocolatemilf

Oct 14 @ 10:44PM  
Don't push........just continue to be there and continue to be clear on where you are emotionally.............If things progress, let them be natural...............ok? I know it may hurt or feel as if you're spinning your wheels, but wait it out......Good Luck!!
skinonskin

Oct 14 @ 10:47PM  
I agree with everyone here- give him room and let him sort things out!

31sunshine

Oct 14 @ 11:06PM  
I be Tammy....I think you are doing the right thing by being his friend & letting him come to you when he's ready.
slohand_47

Oct 14 @ 11:41PM  
It's hard to say with only one point of vew to work with. Yes, he could be shy and worried about getting burned again.
Or, It's possible all he is interested in is friendship. Since you've only known him for 2 months, either is possible.

What happens at the end of an evening out? Do you get a handshake, a hug, a peck on the cheek??? Do you ever hold hands? Do you keep physical distance between you.... waiting for him to make the first move? Without knowing any of that.....it's just guess work.... but it's possible he is unsure how YOU feel.

I never call him. He contacts me.

I was in a similar situation once. We had a blind date and at the end, she gave me her phone # so I could call her again. We went out maybe 3 times. I called her a couple times a week. She never once called me. Never got close.... never held hands... she really didn't seem all that interested. I quit calling to see what might happen..... and nothing ever did. Never did talk to her again. Truth be told, I wasn't all that interested either... but who knows....... what a little encouragement might have made a difference... but I'm not going to pursue someone who just isn't interested.

You don't have to make a declaration of love to let him know you're interested. Hold hands.. walk a little closer. Touch his arm sometimes when your talking....... start putting yourself into his "space" and see what reaction you get. Give him a peck on the cheek if he does something particularly nice....
Courting goes both directions, girl.
alybai42

Oct 15 @ 12:17AM  
Thanks for your comments. I guess both of us are afraid. I am afraid of being rejected and losing a great guy as a good friend. Things were fine as friends until a week ago. I started to feel something more for him. But never told him. And maybe I won't.
Blueyesprkln

Oct 15 @ 12:20AM  
I agree with Slohand Tammy, try what he suggests and see what happens. You never know until you try. Who knows it might work out to be the best thing you've ever had.
slohand_47

Oct 15 @ 12:39AM  
You don't have to lose the friendship either way. Lets suppose that you did tell him how you felt.... and he did say that he was only interested in friendship. That's the point where some would get mad... or embarrassed.... and break things off. Or, you can be sweet and say friends is just fine and keep the friendship. Your choice.

BUT..... IF you do want more...... would you be willing to settle for "just" a friendship... or would you be hanging around hoping he would change his mind? See...... so many directions you can go.

I have a lady friend... who is just that.... a friend. We met in a singles ad in the local paper..... 10 years ago. Went out a few times..... but at the time she was separated and so was I and there was just a lot going on..... (not to mention she had the hots for some other guy) and she told me..... We both have a lot going on and neither one of us is ready for a relationship right now....... but I'm new in the area and I don't have many friends...... are you interested in being just friends. I told her....... I didn't know cuz I had never done that before.... but lets give it a shot. 10 years later we are still good friends. No sex, just friends. It's a cool thing.

Anyway..... as I said...... you don't have to "say" anything. Just try being a little cozier is all.
ladybootscooter

Oct 15 @ 1:14AM  
Anyway..... as I said...... you don't have to "say" anything. Just try being a little cozier is all.
I agree with Slohand, and I also think maybe you should call him now and then. If nothing else just a hey wanna come over and watch a movie, make it casual, pizza and popcorn or something. Just include him a little more gradually in your life as well. He may enjoy it so much he find he wants to be there on a more full time basis! Good luck to ya Tammy!
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Oct 15 @ 1:45AM  
You have some good advice from some of the comments here. I agree with them.
asnet

Oct 15 @ 2:02AM  
All of the above sounds like Good Advice.
Take it.

Meanwhile,
why does it take puppy three years
to get over somebody stepping on puppy's tail?

Have you ever done for a guy
what guys do for girls?
Cook him up a big dinner of whatever stuff he loves.
Get him as drunk as possible
without putting him into a coma.
Hope that Nature takes its course.


HollyHummy

Oct 15 @ 2:59AM  
Laughing @ asnet......get him drunk as possible and let nature take it's course, but don't put him in a coma or kill him..
...who knows it might work..

...let him take things at his own pace,.....but if you are posting in here about him, after 5 or 6 months and he hasn't made a move yet...things looking soo slow you could be collecting your social security before he makes up his mind..
dump him...
casuallylooking

Oct 15 @ 5:31AM  
Tammy, I agree with Slo, also. Just keep in mind that a really good friendship is wonderful, even if nothing further becomes of the two of you. I also agree with LBS, maybe give him a calll every now and then, or at least mention doing it and see what his reaction might be.
Good Luck!!
lifeizabitch

Oct 15 @ 1:01PM  
I vote for telling him.
Lisa46

Oct 15 @ 1:26PM  
Just be his friend until he decides otherwise?? As you know I value friendship and lately I've felt thrown away so don't ruin it!!! Just play it by ear for now sweetie!!!
I be lisa

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02
How to I tell him how I feel about him?