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How NOT to get laid if you're a guy

posted 10/14/2007 8:23:28 PM |
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tagged: humor, sex, straddle

The last two days I have been sick with a bad cold and haven't been on here for the last two days till today. Kim seems to think she gave me this cold, but in all honesty I think it was the 30 degree drop from one day to the next day that did it. Kim is starting to get horny and she called me on my cell phone on her way home from work and told me that she was getting some tonight. I still feel like shit and I'm not horny at all because of it. So with that I put together a little list on how NOT to get laid if you're a guy. I'll let you guys think which is best...

1. To wear a pair of my Daisy Duke shorts tonight
2. To try to smell like sweat
3. Lie and tell her I'll be busy
4. Leave the state
5. Tell her I'm really crushed right now because my Bengals lost again

*Just a note* I wouldn't do numbers 3 and 4. Number 5 seems a bit drasic too, so I doubt I would do that.

Should Kim let me off the hook tonight so I can continue getting well?

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post a comment!


Oct 14 @ 8:32PM  
Most likely I'll be wearing a pair of Daisy Duke shorts tonight when I go to her house. I think it'll be funny as hell. Maybe that's a way out of having sex tonight.

Oct 14 @ 8:33PM  
To tell you the truth, sweating is the best way to get rid of a cold. And what better way to sweat than getting laid!!!

Oct 14 @ 8:35PM  
I say just sneeze and blow your nose alot, that would have me backing away quickly!! Good Luck!!

Oct 14 @ 8:37PM  
the sneezing and running nose hasn't worked. I have kissed her while she's been that way, and she's been kissing me over the last two days.

Oct 14 @ 8:43PM  
fuck that.... pop a viagra, and let her ride away!!!!!!

Oct 14 @ 8:52PM  
Yeah, Hopon, looks like she's going to be straddling and riding me tonight.

Oct 14 @ 9:00PM  
You got Viagra? some guys have all the luck.... Damn....

Oct 14 @ 9:02PM  
Ummm...I don't need viagra. I just need my smell back and to get over this cold so I can enjoy sex more.

Oct 14 @ 9:08PM  
To the only guy on AMD trying to NOT get laid....

1. As I have told you before you dont really get a choice in the matter anyway
2. I have been sick longer than you and still having sex so I have no sympathy for ya
3. The shorts, sweat or football wouldn't work
4. I know your not busy, you dont lie, and you dont like to drive far enough to leave the state

So get off the computer and get your ass into my bed

and I did give you my cold

Okay everyone lets all tell Straddle to get over here and be my sex slave

Oct 14 @ 9:20PM  
Hear that, guys?

I'm still wearing those Daisy Duke shorts.

Oct 14 @ 10:06PM  

Shawn in my opinion, it is your solum duty to supply love comfort and what ever , to the woman you love. There is no excuse for not doing all you can to please her.

#1 - Take off the Daisey Duke Shorts
#2 - Take a Shower
#3 - Do not lie,...tell her you love her and will do anything for her.
#4 - Do not leave the state, Be home and waiting for her.
#5 - Tell her no matter how crushed you are, she will always come first.
#6 - No remarkes about Skid mark panties.

Oct 14 @ 10:20PM  
Sorry, I have to agree - GIVE IT UP HUN!!! Get your butt over there, thats what love is all about !!!! Besides, sex is a natural antihistamine, you will probably feel great during the act!!! Hope you get feeling better!

Oct 14 @ 10:21PM  
I'm still wearing those Daisy Duke shorts
I am wondering why you have daisy duke shorts in the first place........................

Oct 14 @ 10:34PM  
I'm still trying to past the concept of NOT wanting to have sex when not just offered but demanded from a woman.

Hang on a sec...........Nope. Still can't get past that.

The only way would be if there were projectile vomiting, serious bleeding, traumatic head injury or a nasty case of the trots involved....nope, even then, it would be a serious inner debate.

Ok, now I have a headache. But I'd still have sex if offered.

Viagra? Really?

Oct 14 @ 11:41PM  
Well he wore the shorts, wasn't sweaty and I got my way

Oct 15 @ 12:43AM  
So....... does that go both ways?? Is he allowed to demand satisfaction if you are the one who's tired?
Just sayin...........

Oct 15 @ 12:49AM  
Just tell her that she's going to get sick right along with you after sex! A little reverse psychology and wouldn't be a lie- certainly could happen! Just don't tell Kim I suggested that!

Oct 15 @ 1:44AM was damn good too!

Oct 15 @ 2:48AM  
Why you here telling us about it. You aint done yet. Get back to work. Believe me if I had a woman here it would be an all night affair thats for sure. Dont see me wearing Daisy Dukes, Well maybe wearing Daisy Duke herself but that is a different story. Glad you had fun.

Ok now if you can trade Kudos for sex, do you give Kudos to someone who is getting it without need to trade? Hmmmm What to do?

Hell why not have green thingy. Perhaps you could have tried trading Kudos for no Sex. Just a thought.

Oct 15 @ 8:39AM  
Posting a blog like this would do it for many women as it is TMI and taking their personal life into the the public eye of the fishbowl.

Oct 15 @ 11:33AM  
Hey, Bruce, it was all in good fun. I saw nothing wrong with that except for the lame list I came up with last night.

Oct 20 @ 3:09AM  
Now I see how ya are..mmm..funny.

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How NOT to get laid if you're a guy