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posted 10/12/2007 3:59:56 AM |
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tagged: thoughts

Over the past couple of months, I’ve had more than enough spare time on my hands. Since graduating from college, I’ve had a difficult time finding a job, leaving me with ample opportunity to ponder the many thoughts that often crowd the inner workings of my restless mind. During this time, I’ve come to several realizations in my life. Below are just a few:

1. I realize that no matter how many times I screw up in my life, my children still look up to me with an unwavering acceptance etched on their precious, little faces. The innocence that resides in their hearts does not judge me for my many flaws; instead, they love me unconditionally, renewing my faith in the potential good of people in general.

2. I realize that no matter how hard I try, I cannot escape the painful aspects of my past. They seem to lurk just around the corner, haunting my thoughts every chance they get. Instead of trying to flee from the hurt that I’ve endured, I’m channeling that energy into efforts of becoming a better me. Looking back on painful memories, I can recall two very important things. First, I recall the way that I was treated badly by some people, and I refuse to deal with that sort of treatment from anyone ever again. And second, I recall the way I felt after being treated so badly, and I refuse to put people in my life through the same kind of hurt. I’ve given up on feeling victimized by people and events in my past; instead, I’m using it as motivational tool, drawing from it a newfound strength and determination. All in all, I’m here in the now, and I’m going to be just fine.

3. I realize that happiness is a state of mind, not just something that occurs when we least expect it. I’m aware that we all have bad days, but only we, as individuals, can control how we compartmentalize the many stresses of our daily lives. Bad moments can be turned into good memories with the help of a little laughter, a few good friends, and a great attitude. It’s all about the attitude.

4. I realize that time passes more quickly with each year that I age. I can remember as a child when the summers seemed to last a lifetime. Now, the days simply melt into weeks, and the weeks quickly blend into months. Before I know it, another year passes, and I’m left to wonder where the time went. I feel that a lot of this is linked to the amount of responsibilities we deal with as adults. Time has a way of slipping by unnoticed when our minds are constantly wrapped around paying bills, holding down steady jobs, and taking care of the family. Thinking back to my childhood, the only worries that surrounded me revolved around trying to decide who was going to be “it” first when playing tag and getting my daily chores done in the morning so that I was able to disappear outside for the rest of the day. In the midst of those long summer days, time stood still, even if only in my mind.

I’ve enjoyed my time off between school and work, but quite honestly, all of this thinking has left me mentally exhausted. I don’t recall thinking this much while I was IN school (joking). Anyway, I hope everyone who reads this is blessed with peaceful thoughts and a beautiful tomorrow. Thank you for sharing my thoughts with me.


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Oct 12 @ 4:20AM  
I often wonder if we all have similar thoughts. I cannot recount the number of times I have sat down and thought of my child hood and wondered very nearly the same things. It is amaing that time seems to move at a very different pace when you are grown up. I also remember the differences of freedoms we had when we were kids. It seems to have been a safer world. A world where we could leave in the morning and we had a relatively large area we could run around in as long as we were in for lunch and dinner we had a pretty good run Now days it seems you are scared to let your kids out of the yard.

Oct 12 @ 4:35AM  
I remember the summers seemed to last longer. Everything seems larger when you are a kid and I used to play hide and seek and ride my bike all summer long with my friends. Now I just go to work and time passes quickly. I seem to have forgotten how to play. I have to remind myself now instead of just doing it. It's not that I don't want to play like a kid, I just have other things on my mind sometimes and no one to play with. But I know that it's just in my head as when I drag myself out of my work habit and maybe go see some old friends or go on a scenic drive then I start feeling like a kid again. I know he's still there, I just have trouble finding him sometimes.

Oct 12 @ 5:45AM  
Wow ..lots of good thoughts in this blog...makes me think...when I'm not thinkn about panties that is...

Oct 12 @ 6:30AM  
Some great thoughts you have.

I often point out to people that after today, that's one less day that you have to live on the face of this earth.

I mean really, think about'll never get today's gone forever. To really be blunt, after today, your one day closer to death.

So enjoy today, and everyday, as much as you can, and don't sweat the small stuff.

We all get wiser as we get older, which is why there's that saying about wishing you knew then what you know now.

Just remember, ten years from now, you'll be wishing you could go back in time ten years.

Oct 12 @ 7:56AM  
Great blog, Angel! I think all of us go thru this- some more often than others....

Oct 12 @ 9:44AM  
Yes, I think we all miss those worry free days of endless summers...A time when friends were friends, and you could fight one day, and the next be buxom buddies, with no hard feelings and / or grudges...

We all are the sum total of our existence...Everything that has happened, good and bad, makes us what we are today....and what we decide today will form who we are tomorrow...

Good luck in your search for gainful employment ...But, don't limit your possibilities...I hold a Masters in Engineering, but I drive a truck, and couldn't be happier...

Oct 12 @ 9:52AM  
I’ve enjoyed my time off between school and work, but quite honestly, all of this thinking has left me mentally exhausted

and my friends tell me i think TOO much......shit now i know where the head ache came from .........but thanks for the tip i'll just zone out ....

great blog btw

Oct 12 @ 10:18AM  
Great blog Angel. Sounds like you have things sorted out and you are on your way to a better life.

Oct 12 @ 11:01AM  
Good blog, Angel.
I remember a very wise woman--my Grandma--once telling me not to try and hurry my life because time seems eternal when we are children. But once you hit 25 or so, it just flies by quicker each year and we can't ever get any of it back. Of course at the time, I thought time is time, it will never go faster. Miss Know It All, sure didn't know too much. Imagine that.. lol
All in all, I’m here in the now, and I’m going to be just fine.
We can't change the past. And truth being, most of us wouldn't even if we could. We can only hope we learned from the good and the bad and it helps to make us be a better person.

Oct 12 @ 5:13PM  
In reality time does pass for an adult faster relative to a child. This is because each a year for example toa 10 year old is a tenth of its life and therefore is a very long time, however, for an adult a year is a thirtieth or fortieth or whateverth of the life so far. Each day seems shorter and becomes more precious - especially as you head towards your end.

So the key is to make sure you enjoy your days and don't waste them - they don't last forever.

J xx

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