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Thoughts

posted 10/10/2007 1:58:07 PM |
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  knightshadow2007

I am sitting here this morning looking at a photo of the last true interest I had in my life. She was my best friend long before she was a lover, and now we don't even talk. Not like we used to at one time I thought she was the best thing to happen to me. I don't allow myself to get close to women in that way as it can be detrimental, and besides the closer you get the more questions there are.

Ones like ..... Where do you go all the time?, Why do you leave so suddenly when you get a call? And the grandaddy of them all. What is it you really do?

Back to GiGi ( I'll call her that for obvious reasons) I really do miss her at times. Her smile, Her laugh, Her touch, and most of all her conversation. There is a big age diference betwween us but that never mattered to either of us. I know she deserves more than I could ever give her, but damn there are times when I want to tell her everything. I could never subject her to that...here again I am thinking I deserve to be happy too. I have dedicated the last 26 yrs to my job and I think maybe I deserve more.

I sometimes think that my solitude is a punishment for the choices I made in life.
I did everything they told me, in fact I still do I don't hesitate, I don't question never have. Now though I question alot of things frequently


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Blogs by knightshadow2007:
Grounded
Who Am I ?
Thoughts III
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Comments:

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Lisa46

Oct 10 @ 2:30PM  
Sometimes makes you wonder did we chose the right path in our life???
nusouthorigin

Oct 10 @ 3:17PM  
Ok I'm jus bein honest here from my own personal experience, but your solitude is a personal choice. And it will continue untill you decide for it to stop. Good luck with it though.
maggiemae1969

Oct 10 @ 6:28PM  
well I cant see those being odd questions..... you cant be with someone and alone at the same time, it simply wont work.
kandikisses4u

Oct 21 @ 11:12AM  
I have been married to someone and ALONE at the same time. It absolutely can happen and is a pathetic way to live. Thank God I got smart a long time ago and got out of that relationship. I was more alone IN it than any other time in my life. I have found the love of my life now. I am still touched by the things he sees in me and can tell me! Talk about feeling good! It's absolutely been worth the wait for the right man!

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Thoughts