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Where the fuck have U guys been?

posted 10/9/2007 2:49:09 AM |
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tagged: whig
  DickSlippery

Whazzup wit it, bitches? Heard U needed some Dick 2 warm U up on this chilly October evening, so here I am! If hearing about my fucked up life doesn't make U feel a whole lot better about Ur own situation I don't know what 2 fucking tell U, cuz baby...I'm one fucked up motherfucker.

Take 4 instance, this situation. I have a pretty cool chick. We've been 2gether 4 what seems like 4ever, and despite all my fucking weirdness, she still digs me. That may not seem like much, but when U consider my history...well, let's just say I doubt that very many of U ladies would have stuck around, but she did. And she is still cool...4 the most part. She may trip a little if I am alone with another chick, but that's what fucking a bitch's best friend will do 4 ya. (Write this down:Any bitch who will fuck her best friend's man cannot be trusted. That will be on the final...) So, when U consider that that shit is my own damned fault, there izn't a whole lot left 4 me 2 bitch about. Still...I somehow managed 2 find something. Do U see the fucking effort I put forth 4 U ungrateful bastards? I better be getting a fucking raise, that's all I'm saying.

So what do I go and do 2 make my life a living hell? I go get myself a new best friend, that's what. I cute chick who has no available man and a sex drive which may rival my own. But I'm not fucking her. Really...it's not like that. We just hang out and shit. Besides, she digs my wife and would probably tell on me anyways.

Iz it just me, or does this sound like bullshit 2 everyone else as well? Cuz I swear 2 god it's the truth, and I am even having a hard time believing it! But my chick iz pretty much taking it in stride, and she really hasn't tripped all that much. Until recently...that iz.

Lately she has started expressing a lack of enthusiasm 4 my new friendship. This sucks ass, cuz I REALLY dig this chick. I don't want her 2 go away. That's one of the reasons I haven't tried 2 fuck her. I like having her around.

Despite this, my wife has begun hating on my friend, which iz in turn making her think, 'well, fuck this bitch then.' This cannot be a good development. Becuz the truth iz I really am trying not 2 cheat. All guys fucking cheat. Some of them try 2 get away with the shit, though. Whether it iz cuz they go 2 hookers on the sly or they have another bitch stashed away somewhere, all guys cheat. Some of them actively try 2 get away with the shit. I used 2 do that. Not anymore. Now I am trying 2 do the exact opposite 4 a change. (Unless a certain somebody from Orlando decides she's fed up with Italian and she's in the mood 4 some soul food! If that happens all bets are off. I'm fucking SPRUNG on this bitch. I don't stand a fucking chance.)

But the fact remains that if a motherfucker gets accused of some shit he isn't doing enough times it duz tend 2 become more attractive as an alternative. That's just human nature. After awhile U are gonna figure 2 Urself, 'why the fuck shouldn't I? I'm catching all this fucking grief 4 it anyway. I may as well have some fun 4 all my trouble, right? But then...that's not really me trying not 2 cheat, iz it?

Or maybe I'm just bullshitting myself. Maybe what I am doing iz setting myself up for something I may not want 2 do. Then...when the time iz right...BAM...fucking the shit out of her. Let the circumstances of the situation change my point of view. Hmmm...sounds plausible, don't it?

Who fucking knows. All I am saying iz this. If something duzn't happen soon I really am going 2 buy myself a ticket 2 Orlando, and I don't give a fuck about Disney World. I will be riding an E-Ticket ride, though...U can count on that!

Until then, however, I guess I will just keep on

Keeping U posted

DS





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RUMORS, LIES AND INNUENDO XVII Part One
WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part Two
WILL THE REAL DICKSLIPPERY PLEASE STAND UP? Part One
Looking 4 my cheating husband...
Not this fucking guy again...
Yeah...yeah...yeah...so what?
I'm still Putting off the Inevitable...
Just Another Lame Attempt at Procratinating the Innevitable...
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Where the fuck have U guys been?
WHY WE NEED UNIVERSAL HEATH CARE IN AMERICA
Whazzup Wit It, WHIGS!
Greetings from The Great Beyond
Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Three
Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Two
Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part Two
Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XVI Part One
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Rumors, Lies and Innuendo XV
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Where Duz He Come Up With This Fucking Shit?
What's Good 4 the Goose iz Good 4 the Gander...


Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

Oct 9 @ 3:00AM  
DS- Welcome back, I know this may sound crazy but I have missed your crazy ass. Hope your going to hang around with us for a while..........
Looking4ever

Oct 9 @ 3:03AM  
Gawd! We have seriously been needing some DICK around here. 'Bout time you returned. Pudge and Lint are trying to take over the place. And the Hijacking blog whores are seriously out of contol. Restore some order (you? ), will ya?
Ewe_Wish

Oct 9 @ 3:07AM  
And the Hijacking blog whores are seriously out of contol.
I resemble that remark................
openmindedguy71

Oct 9 @ 6:41AM  
Hey heyy hey stop with the Jealousy Looking I remember you putting your two cents in. Now i'm not tryin to sound freaky or anythin but I guess this place could use a lil Dick. Bout time you got your ass back here Now roll a fucking blunt and have some fun right.
PrincessKissy

Oct 9 @ 8:39AM  
Disappear on a bitch, will you??
lifeizabitch

Oct 9 @ 9:24AM  
It is amazing what happens to people who are "off thier meds".
Pudge2you

Oct 9 @ 11:29AM  
Bullshit boy... you're trying to fuck the new friend. You can't fool ME!
NachoBaby

Oct 9 @ 11:44AM  
Oh yeah I see how it iz... invite a bitch to your fuckin barfday party and then disappear off the fuckin earth... yeah yeah... Happy Barfday btw... fucker.
str8ngr84u2

Oct 9 @ 12:29PM  
Good to see ya back and of course full of enthusiasm! Hope you stick around--we still want Dick!!
TastyCupcake

Oct 9 @ 9:34PM  
It's great to see you back. I wish you'd write more blogs more often. They serve as a nice diversion.

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Where the fuck have U guys been?