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Share your funniest sexual encounters!

posted 10/8/2007 3:59:48 PM |
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  onions2006

K,I`ll start with one...My ol lady and I were getting sexy and decided to play with her vibrator one day.It kept going on and off so after a few,I decided to take this thing apart and find out what was wrong with it.We are both lying on our stomachs,eyes homed in on the problem when I found it was a bad wire and said"sweetie,can ya go into my tool box downstairs and get my soldering iron,solder and razor knife?'...she went...We plug the thing in,I begin soldering and we`re back in the same fucused position staring at the problem....I finished,it still didnt work and suddenly we looked up at each other,catching each other with that worried and serious look on our faces,realizing how much friggin time we just wasted and could have forgotten about the damn thing and we just started out laughing histerically at ourselves.I threw the damn thing on the floor and it took us both a while before we could get back in the mood and for me to get a rise again after all the laughing.I`ll never forget it. Oh and..I have more stories too....YOUR TURN!!!!!

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funnygirl730

Oct 8 @ 4:38PM  
well i'm pretty sure the 2 men involved didn't see the humor in this but my best girlfriend and i decided we could have sex in the same room.needless to say we were a little drunk so for us it was extremely funny to give each other a blow by blow as to what was happening.gotta admit the was the last time i went out with that guy.
Ashinatrix

Oct 8 @ 6:01PM  
I dated a doctor once.....I was giving him a bj and he shot his load straight into my windpipe!!! I choked and coughed while he proceeded to slap me on the back....he told me if I developed a cough to call him and he'd prescribe me something for it
DeDe54

Oct 8 @ 6:21PM  
I was in bed with my bf at the time, just had gone done being naughty, his aunt comes in the door, no knock no nothing. She came in and looked and laughed, said have a good time, asked him something and left, could her laughing all the way out the door!!! OMG i wished the ground would have opened up and swallowed me at the time!!! Never been so red in my entire life!


DeDe54

Oct 8 @ 6:21PM  
Sneaks in puts a green thingy ma bob on the table and leaves!
PrincessKissy

Oct 8 @ 6:40PM  
Used to have a dog that would lay his head on the edge of the bed and watch us. We tried ousting him to the hallway, but he howled in time with the grunting and moaning and it was very distracting. Was actually less bothersome to allow him to watch
BuddhaDon

Oct 8 @ 6:59PM  
That was too funny, PrincessKissy.

I must have thought the following to be funny, because I couldn't stop laughing at the time: I was [and still am] up for pretty much anything at least once. A woman told me she wanted me to lick her ass. The trouble was that I couldn't stop laughing in her ass. I must have thought that it was so decadent or something. I felt badly really, but she seemed to have been cool with the experience...

I'd rather have licked her pussy and spanked her ass. Oh that's right, I did.

Good blog...
orzie

Oct 9 @ 9:10AM  
2 guys were holding a large pig for me and wanted me to tell them when I was getting ready to get off , told them i was ready and then they slapped the pig and had to jack off and told them fuck you
onions2006

Oct 9 @ 9:27AM  
ok,heres another.Back in my senior year in high school,My girl friend and I were doing it where ever we could back then.She looked like Demi Moore and was the county fair queen.Such a beauty and still is.At the time I had a VW beetle.We were going down the road and decided to drive around naked.It was funny because we were waving to people and no one knew anything.Giggling away a while she could see I was aroused and decided to go down on me while driving....she was doing it,I lost all perception of things while a tractor trailer drove past,honked at us and startled us.She got up,large tits showing and they beeped again!We laughed our asses off!.....more stories to come.....
hopon

Oct 9 @ 6:47PM  
OMG!!!!! I got one!!!! One night, for some reason, my husband asked me a question... well.....I was wound up, and sang my answer back to him.... well.. he then sung back to me, and then I back to him..... within minutes we were singing in opera voices while undressing one another...... the entire three hours later that was spent in the bedroom engaged in sexual contact, not a word was spoken.... nope....everything we wanted to say was sung to each other in an opera voice!!!! We laugh about it to this day!!! I am just glad that the kids didn't wake up!!! Imagine their little ears hearing.... fuccccckkkk meeeee nowwwwww...... lmao!!!!!
hopon

Oct 9 @ 6:48PM  
PK.... I used to have a dog that did the same damn thing!!! What kind of dog did you have???? lol!!!!
hopon

Oct 9 @ 6:51PM  
how about the time I went out for a few drinks with my husband's sister, who was also married. We both ended up hooking up with a guy from the band. The four of us shared a hotel room that night that was connected to the bar! We fucked for hours, and when my husband and my father came looking for us the next morning, we made the guys go out on the balcony, and hang on by their fingers until we left the premises!!!!!! Too fucking funny to think about!!!
hopon

Oct 9 @ 6:52PM  
Or what about the time I was on the phone with a mutual male friend, and my husband started licking me. While he was licking and fucking my hole, I started having phone sex with our friend! The friend then really got into it, and started having me tell my husband what to do to me!!

Okay.... that is enough for me right now.... I wouldn't want anybody to call me a blog hog!!!!!
onions2006

Oct 9 @ 11:12PM  
um,hopon,I`m confused by the story before this one.It says the four of us.Whos the fourth?
onions2006

Oct 10 @ 10:29PM  
Was working out of town,found the local workmans bar.Started making friends.Another night,at another bar with an old friend I always wanted to fuck,I wound up hitching back because I had to work the next day.A girl picks me up....then,at the workman bar another night,she shows up...shes sayingHeyyy I remember you, Ill give ya another ride home if ya want.Ended up fucking(name escapes me)hee hee and the next night I go to the bar and all eyes are on me....I`m thinking why?.....then I say"what!" they say"well?is it true?" I say what? they said that she claims to give the best head in warwick(RI) I burst out laughing telling them how terrible she was at everything the while she was giving me head standing in front of a picture window,I saw my reflection and started making faces and trying not to laugh!I was smoking a cigarette pretending to tap the ashes off on her head and trying so fucking hard not to burst out laughing!Needless to say,they all laughed at the bar and when I went back home,I`m sure she never heard the end of it and will never stake that claim again!

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Share your funniest sexual encounters!