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My mind rambles on....

posted 10/8/2007 2:01:01 AM |
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It's quite late in the evening, my children are sleeping soundly in their beds, and the house has been cleaned from top to bottom. Now what's a girl to do with her free time? The quietness that surrounds me leaves ample opportunity for my restless mind to explore the many disconnected thoughts that seem to come and go as they please. This journey through my mind brings up many different questions, realizations, and baffling thoughts in general. Below are just a few of the thoughts that have decorated the slate of my mind recently.

1. Since graduating from college this year, I've been searching for a job position within my field of study, making very little progress up to this point I might add. I have read through numerous "help wanted" ads listed in the local newspapers, finding very few positions that encompass either of my two majors. However, I've come to realize that most employers want to hire someone with both education and experience. That's completely understandable. After all, they want to ensure that the new employee is capable of comprehending and carrying out the duties of the position. Nevertheless, this stipulation for employment often hinders the chances of a new graduate who is looking to secure their first job after graduation (such as myself). I have the degree that is required, but I lack the experience of working in the field. Most employers fail to realize that new college gradutes won't have the experience they're looking for unless someone offers them their first opportunity to get that experience. I'm wondering when my opportunity will come along.

2. Another point about potential employers that really peeves me is their disregard for their prospective employees. As point number one indicated, I've been searching fervently for work since graduating in May. I have filled out applications, sent in resumes, and even attended an interview. Each time I waited, hoping to get a call telling me that I had my first big break, but nothing came. No phone call. No letter. Not even a "Fuck you very much." I hate feeling like my life is in limbo and strangers hold the key to my future. Would it be too difficult for them to call or write to say, "Thank you for applying, but you're not what we're looking for at the moment"? At least have the common decency to put me out of my misery. Let me know there's no chance of it happening, so I won't be left to wonder. I don't think it's too much to ask.

3. Ok, moving on to the next topic. I hate being treated like a part-time friend. Allow me to explain. I can't stand it when someone only makes a half-assed attempt to be my friend. They only call, write, or visit periodically, making lame excuses about why they haven't been around (I understand that life happens, but some are simply rediculous). They disappear for days, weeks, or even months at a time, expecting to pick up right where you left off before they vanished. I don't work that way, sorry. Sometimes they only come around when they have nothing better to do at the moment, making that fact known by saying something like, "I was bored, so I thought I'd give you a call." I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that I don't like being made to feel like a last resort in someone's repertoire. Either I'm your friend all the time, or I'm not, but you better make your decision known. I refuse to settle any longer for "friends" who choose to straddle that fence.

4. On a lighter note, it is my opinion that the love that exists within the realm of a relationship is what you make it. All relationships take some degree of effort, and both/all individuals involved in the structure of the bond are responsible for their share of making it work. People should realize that a sense of comfort is good when it comes to the connection between people. However, becoming too comfortable with the layout of a relationship often leads to neglect of the excitement that once existed between the parties involved. Introducing new thoughts, ideas, and activities into an existing relationship is a great way to keep it stimulating for a long time to come. Just my opinion.

5. Love can be found online, and I'm living proof. Back in late 2000, I ran across a wonderful man in a chatroom on another site that no longer exists. He and I became friends, joking around with one another when our paths crossed from time to time. Life's duties called him away for a while, and I didn't realize how much he actually meant to me until he returned in early 2001. I had missed him more than my conscious mind was willing to admit. Upon his return, we picked up right where we had left off, and a romance was in full bloom. We shared daily emails and hours of chatting on instant messenger before we finally took our conversations to the phone. He visited me for the first time in June of 2001 (just two weeks after our first phone conversation). He drove to Georgia three more times before I made my first visit to Tennessee in September of the same year. With each visit, the departure became too much for us to bear. Finally, in December of 2001, I made the move to be with him, and I've been here since. I look back to where we began, and it warms my heart all over again. I treasure how we met, and I wish to ensure all of those lonely hearts in cyber land that online love is possible. Don't give up on the dream.

Continued in comments....

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Oct 8 @ 2:01AM  
Ok, I've rambled enough while preoccupying my spare time. I hope that everyone has a wonderful night (what's left of it), and may your tomorrow be full of smiles. Take care of yourselves, knowing that you're not alone in this journey called life.


Oct 8 @ 2:08AM  

Beautiful nlog sweety. Have a pleasent nights sleep,
and may the Angels watch over you.

Oct 8 @ 3:01AM  
Regarding the part-time friend thing:

My friend said the same thing but regarding guys and not calling all the time. Guys just are like that because that's how guys make friends. We don't call our other guy buddies everyday or sometime even every month. It's a respecting your space thing. Sometimes that pisses girls off but we don't mean it. Most of us probably think you would get sick of talking to us if we called you more then three times a week.

Oct 8 @ 3:25AM  
I think of you All the time Angel and you mean the world to me even though im never around to tell you!
Kisses and hugsssss your always in my thoughts

Oct 8 @ 3:29AM  
Wow ...sounds like your in a catch 22 with the job situation...keep trying ..somebodies eventually gonna take a chance on you. Congrats on finding somebody online....I'm sure it gives people hope to know it can happen...

Oct 8 @ 5:44AM  
Regarding the part-time friend thing:

My friend said the same thing but regarding guys and not calling all the time. Guys just are like that because that's how guys make friends. We don't call our other guy buddies everyday or sometime even every month. It's a respecting your space thing. Sometimes that pisses girls off but we don't mean it. Most of us probably think you would get sick of talking to us if we called you more then three times a week.

I have to agree, as unpopular as it may sound, however, from my own experience (being male, last time i checked). Quite often men make many aquaintances and few friends. In my view an aquaintance is still somebody I can have a laugh with but I may not see them or hear from them for weeks, months or years. Then I have my friends which are close and I speak to them more often - still not on a daily basis but probably twice a week - if they are out of the country.

Perhaps it is a male thing - perhaps it is a male thing for certain males only.


Oct 8 @ 10:21AM  
You can't control external things only thing you can control is your self and how u deal with it I guess it sucks I can todaly relate to your rambings on many levels lol. I as specialy hate "part time friends" I know exactly what u mean. I would think of those people more of a friendly aquiantnce then I friend I have real friends. Any ways I we all need to vent hope u feel like u got all of that out I find the more time I have the more my mind wonders of and thinks and worries about everything can't help it I'm a thinker.

Oct 8 @ 10:53AM  
damn....well as to the job..i sure understand..i've been in sales for over 20yrs.....for months the girls at the bank i use kept tellin me i'd be perfect cause they're a bank that hires salespeople n teaches banking......salespeople will open more new actts afer all but beggin i take hours to fill out this ap on mind you i'm a CUSTOMER first.....and in the end i get a fuckin FORM LETTER tellin me ''no openings at this time''

i freaked the fuck out .......caught the dm n faced off with him (the bank is in a grocery store ) n he swore he'd get to the bottom n call me in 3days....umm that was in july.....yup NO i MIGHT go to the main office n find HIS boss...and ask if they're more trustworthy keepin my money then they are at keeping their word...

teh friends...mmm yes..i guess to some degree men will maintian friendship with less calls......don't know why ...a gene thing??

but a kudo to you babe n my best patitnet and don't lte the bastards wear you down.....i'd put it in latin but i can't spell it..............hell those who know me know i can't hardly spell in english

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My mind rambles on....