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posted 9/28/2007 12:33:09 AM |
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Not too long ago I posted some stuff about what men really want. You know, size six, d-cups with no sagging, etc.
If only we guys could offer similar in return. It ain't always gonna happen.
Here's my thinking, and it's only mine. Not some other guys, but there are a lot of things in common that most men want in their partner. Here goes.
I want someone who likes herself and is not afraid to be her own woman. Is self-defined, meaning she is herself and not afraid to be so. Assertive without being overbearing, or forceful with her opinion. Respectful of herself and of others in that she treats people the way she wants to be treated.
Has reasonable expectations of herself and of others. Not demanding that she be obeyed, or that her position trumps all nor submissive that she puts herself at the bottom end of the emotional food chain.
Self confident in that she doesn't require my approval for every little thing she wants to do or wear. Rather than ask "Can I go out with the girls tonight?", etc. More like "Say, we girls were talking and are planning to go out Friday night, does that work with you?" (My response is "What time do you plan to be home?" Not for control, but if you tell me midnight and it's 4:00 AM, I'll be a bit worried.
I'm just asking for consideration, not requiring permission. It's the same thing I do.
And if a Wednesday night out with the girls is something you do anyway, hey don't stop if you enjoy it. It's call trust and consideration. Things that shouldn't need to be "proven on paper" constantly.
I want a woman who is part of my life and I'm part of hers but we're not so intertwined with each other's work lives. Sure I want to know where she works, etc. but I don't need every little detail.
Understainding that we're partners. Sometimes partnerships are 50-50, sometimes they're 10-90 and other times they're 90-10, but things eventually balance out.
What I don't want is someone to come into my office and know every little detail about my co-workers, or live her life vicariously through me or vice-versa. While I like the people I work with, I do have boundaries in that regard and unless the professional and business relationships warrant personal friendships be established over time, I don't want to get involved in the day to day lives of my coworkers. My work life is busy as it is, I don't have time for a bunch of idle chit-chat.
Okay, off the soap box. I want to accept each other as we are for who we are, and share complimentary values. Not necessarily identical or completely the same, that would be boring, but values and beliefs that are consistent with each other and compliment the other well.
Sexually? Well, great sex isn't that hard to find. If you're in tune with each other, it takes care of itself. But it's something that will come up of its own accord.
I guess what I'm trying to say is what I want in a partner is a relationship based first on friendship. If you can't be friends, you can't move forward.
Accepting each other and our kids and the dynamics that come with them.
Romance, not just a fanny pat or a grope and let's get lucky. It's more a matter affection and desire with a sense of discovery. Doing things outside the home together. Be it the grocery store or a weekend ride somewhere.
Security in the knowledge that come Hell or high water, we'll both be there for each other.
Honesty, love, affection, attraction, mutuality, friendship, and respect when we agree and when we don't. Most of all, I want honest and open communication. And if there are misunderstandings, the willingness to talk and commitment to resolve them.
I can't make anyone else happy, no matter what or how hard we try. Happiness comes from the inside. What we can do is provide environments in which happiness can exist with the result of joy flowing forth from that.
The best place to look for what a man wants is up to you. I don't know what women want, so what I do is try to be a man that a woman can recognize as someone with whom she'd want to be with.
What do men look for in women? Pretty much the same things women look for in a man. I really don't care what's below the neck if I don't like what's above it.
All I can offer a woman is the best of who and what I am. Good, bad, or indifferent, it's all I can offer. If it's not enough then I'm not the right guy for her, and vice versa.
I hope that helps explain things. There's a lot of books on the subject out there, and they all profess to have "the answer" but it's really a decision that's unique to you.

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Sep 28 @ 12:38AM  
I was thinking.................if you sent me names of your family and friends with addresses................i could send out the announcements this week!!

Sep 28 @ 12:40AM  
Yes, I have to agree, VERY well written!!! I want a man, who wants all that Kudos to you!

Sep 28 @ 12:42AM  
Looking sneaks back in to give a kudo she forgot to give earlier and say Great Blog, sweetie.

Sep 28 @ 12:45AM  
***big sigh*** Very nicely done, RG.

Sep 28 @ 12:46AM  
Man, thanks for typing all that out!!
Sounds like a incredible start to me...

My thought and I was expressing this to a very good friend is...Where do the rose colored glasses come from and how do you keep them on??? Thats what I want to know!!

Putting this in my playbook on life now...

Thank you and thank God for cut n paste!!

Sep 28 @ 12:46AM  
Definitely kudo worthy. Here, have another.

Sep 28 @ 4:34AM  
Will you marry me?

Sep 28 @ 6:00AM  
Too Bad All Men Don't Think Like This! Great Blog!! Kudos For Us!!

P.S - Why do you have to live so far away???

Sep 28 @ 8:09AM  
Great Blog.

Sep 28 @ 8:55AM  
Excellent outlook and blog... kudos.

Sep 28 @ 10:31AM  
I agree with comet!

Sep 28 @ 12:25PM  
Wow, I like a man who's really thought it out, knows exactly what he wants, and can spell it out. Sounds like you have a very healthy outlook on what a relationship needs. Thanks for sharing, this was great.

Sep 28 @ 2:26PM  
reg, you are the man of MY dreams!
Oh yeah, and here's a green thingy for your so eloquently written blog!

Sep 28 @ 8:00PM  
Give it up Ladies.. he is all mine! -- I wish.

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Relationship stuff