Part 3: Phallic Soliloquy... posted 9/27/2007 2:05:43 PM | 2 kudos what's this?     report abuse

Pudge2you

* The lights slowly fade to black. A single spot appears on the stage. A lone microphone stand is illuminated...*

Penis walks out of the darkness and clears his "throat"...


My people are getting a bad wrap. My tribe is one that is much maligned. We are quite unappreciated.

Brains and empathy are qualities extolled by all. Intelligence and feeling are considered to be signs of prowess, the qualities of leaders.

But I'll tell you that it my kind that has the most to offer. My kind is the true driving force in this world.

While you are sleeping and recharging that brain, while the heart comfortably slumbers, my kind is wide awake and working out. Up, down, up, down many many times a night we are exercising to be ready when you need us most.

While you slow dance to romance that special someone, the brain is tounge tied counting to four and trying to stay upright. The heart is melting at the beauty of the moment. My kind is knocking on the door to paradise to make sure someone is awake on the other side. To make sure we all have a chance later. It is tiring thankless work. It's entirely necessary.

I won't stand to be belittled. I will have my day in the sun. When you least expect it I'll make my move. You'll do well to think about me before you put those boxers on, one day I'll be free.

I'll have my revenge for all my thankless hours preparing for those fleeting moments. I'll escape. I'll pop up in unexpected places.

I'll be in ya drawrz spoogin' on ya undeez!!! I'll be on yer puterz keepn ya off da internetz!!!!! I'll be with the sheep! I'll be with the chicks! I'll be with your sister alone at last!

When I make my escape I'll free all of my kind. There will be a revolution!

You will never look at those cute cat picture posts in the same way again!

I'll do the thinking from now on and there will be absolutely no doubt who's in charge!!!

You'll be able to tell by the drool.

*The spotlight slowly fades to black and Penis is gone...

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Blogs by Pudge2you: The Pot... Answers.... Grumps on Sumps and Other Wisdom... Fahhhhhh Q!!! Happy New..... wait a miniute... Change... This Blog is Ticking... Part 3: Phallic Soliloquy... The Pervian Playground Anal-oh-gee! Regurgitation.... WoW style... I think it's great... Times That Try Pervian Souls... Do You Know Me? The Debrief... Mosaic... Bait and Switch... The Moon... Somebody, Anybody, H E L P! People of Pervia Unite!!!! Special Delivery... Old Game... The Red Pill... Fuck These... Confessions of a Call Screener... Get There...