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North vs South in Football

posted 9/11/2007 12:23:26 AM |
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  Bardog_6

It's finally football season!
My favorite time of year, and with that in mind I thought some of you might get a chuckle outa this.....


Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically
different than up North.

For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some
helpful hints.

Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks,
waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon.
Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America .

Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Archie & Peyton Manning

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into
the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into
the ticket office on campus,make a large financial
contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're
going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because
they don't want to see the few hung over students
that might actually make it to class.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University
opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin
arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities.
The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch
ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for
breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is
broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera
and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why
"Game Day Live" is never Broadcast from their campus.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it,
listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires
up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live
performance by "Dave Matthews Band," who
come over during breaks and ask for a hit off
bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?"
When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it.
On game day its state's third largest city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the
top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the
home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way
with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum***** - tackle him and break his legs."

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum***** - tackle him
and break his legs."

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in
the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so
proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker,
while somebody goes to the nearest package store
for more bourbon, and planning begins for next week's game.

Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories
of Southern football!

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Comments:

post a comment!

Redhead131

Sep 11 @ 12:29AM  
Oh... sweetie... you've obviously never been to Southwestern Pennsylvania....

We have standing room only at the high school stadium, I graduated 25 years ago and have a class reunion every Friday night...
swyeter

Sep 11 @ 3:27AM  
Like to add:

Away games
NORTH: Take the kids to the park playground.
SOUTH: Map Quest directions to the stadium, load the family in the motor home and plan on arriving at least two days early in case they have a breakdown.
swyeter

Sep 11 @ 3:40AM  
Oh... sweetie... you've obviously never been to Southwestern Pennsylvania....
We have standing room only at the high school stadium, I graduated 25 years ago and have a class reunion every Friday night...
Red sweetie, that's the differences between the north and south football he was talking about. Kentucky isn't known as a football state but St. Xavier High School and Trinity High School have about 1,400 students each but will have 7,000 in attendance at a "normal" game and when they play each other there will be 35,000 in attendance.

One school just finished a stadium costing 25 million and another has raised 20 million towards building a 28 million stadium.
Ashinatrix

Sep 11 @ 7:24AM  
All I gotta say about that is.......

Wordsofwit

Sep 11 @ 7:58AM  
Then there are the cities that save it for Sunday as they have NFL teams. Of course there is LA and it has a great college and pro team...USC. Then there are states that begin with a "K" or the northeast and have to wait for college basketball.
luvsembig

Sep 11 @ 9:33AM  
How very true, I live 70 miles north of The University of Alabama and on home games we get people looking for hotel rooms this far away.
Redhead131

Sep 11 @ 9:43AM  
OK... I will admit college ball is much bigger in the south... But people do live and breathe football around here. Hey and in Morgantown they burn their furniture after the games....lol.
Redhead131

Sep 11 @ 9:52AM  
LOL.. Swyeter.. big difference definitely

St. Xavier High School and Trinity High School have about 1,400 students each


There were less than 100 students in my graduating class... And the only private school nearby graduated about 60. I come from a very rural area.
straightup_9

Sep 11 @ 9:55AM  
Oh... sweetie... you've obviously never been to Southwestern Pennsylvania...

SOUTHwestern Pennsylvania......lol
bb7251

Sep 11 @ 12:57PM  
I dont know if you've know much about football, but the 2 biggest College stadiums are Penn State and Michigan both in the NORTH. Followed by Tennessee in 3rd, and another Northern school Ohio State. So let me do the math, yea 3 of the top 4 college stadiums are in the NORTH. As for who plays better football, well that remains to be seen. Who has the most Heisman Trophey winners? Well it's USC they just took the lead from Ohio St. Followed by Notre Dame. I'll give it too you Alabama has one of the most storied and historical programs in the country. Their following is amazing. Ever been to the Bama / Aubren game? Yea people just go to tail gate, much less actually go into the game.

I watched the Ohio vs. the US a couple weeks ago. The Ohio H.S. teams varied very well against some of the top H.S. teams through out the country. Hoover High out of Alabama was beat, along with Independence High out of Georgia who had a 109 game winning streak broken. But there were H.S. from all over the contry there playing. They had schools from Cali, MD, Ind, GA, , PA, AL there playing. Some Ohio teams one some Ohio teams lost. But it just shows the there is paridy accross the country when it comes to talent.

But now a days you cant sit here and say that South has better football. Back in the day you could make that aguement. But it's wide open now. There is a football craze that has swept over the country. From the East to the West, the North to the South and all points in between.



MilwaukeeGuy19

Sep 26 @ 2:05AM  
I've got a couple of problems with this blog...
By the way... no one said this was strictly about college...

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Wisconsin Badger's Camp Randall Stadium capacity:
76,129

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into
the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into
the ticket office on campus,make a large financial
contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets.

I know this is college, but no Southern NFL team, or ANY NFL team has fans like the Packers.
Season Tickets have a 30-35 year waiting list at Lambeau Field. So the people in the 70's who ordered season tickets are first getting them now. EVERY game, including Pre-Season games have been sold out for decades.
Given all this information, let me fill you in on two very important facts.

1. Lambeau Field capacity: 72,928
Green Bay population: 102,393

2. The Green Bay Packers have won more Championships than any other team in the NFL.

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North vs South in Football