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Thinking Problem (joke)

posted 9/6/2007 9:54:30 AM |
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Thinking Problem

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- just to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more
than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it
wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I Was
thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off
the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at
her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't help myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so
I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the
office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it
hurts men to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't
stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said,
lower lip a quiver.

"You think as much as college professors and college professors don't
make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared
into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.

They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
caught my Eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers
Anonymous poster.

This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we
avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to
recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today I took the final step...I joined the Democratic Party.

(Its a joke people, don't send me hate mail. I think the Democrats and the Republicans are both outta touch with the rest of us)

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Sep 6 @ 12:03PM  
Today I took the final step...I joined the Democratic Party
Getting involved in politics may help you not to think but it might cause you to start drinking.........

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Thinking Problem (joke)