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HOW COME THEY CALL IT GAY , IF NOBODY'S HAPPY???

posted 9/4/2007 10:12:29 AM |
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  tetons

I was sharing a stall at the airport the other day, with the late, great senator from Idahoe. He was revealing his innermost thoughts to me, in his own inimmitable way. I assume that as a senator, one of the first things you learn when you get to Washington, probably right after you find out directions to the Page locker room, is the value of a hand gesture when trying to get noticed. See everyone knows the value of a good sound bite in today's world, but the ability to attract the microphones has got to be the hardest part of the challenge.

The senator used many gestures in describing the evils of politics to me. It seemed to me he could speak for days, and seldom utter an entire phrase. Must be a talent he picked up, somewhere? But between the one-foot shuffle, and the various hand gestures below the bar, I could tell he was pretty down. He'd been in public service his whole life. Ever since the "cool kids" had shunned him in high school, he'd known he'd have to try harder. He'd hooked up with one of them smart girls, a straight-A student with a pretty open social calendar, and they had pooled their talents. She tutored him in subjects, wrote editorial pieces about him for the school paper, and he had finally been voted president of the student council,during his senior year. To celebrate, they made love for the first time, right on the principal's desk. The thrill was on.

They attended college together, she, always the force behind the man. None of the Fun fraternities showed any interest in him, but she pressured him into one of the religion based houses, and he was able to learn the pleaures of living with a group of Repressed men under one roof. Oh the shennanigans! And when she was elected president of her sororiety, in her senior year, they again had sex; this time in the football stadium at night. It was the first time he had been allowed on the field.

So it follows that he learned to appreciate the family values aspects of life. All the neat people were out all night, having fun. Drinking and carrying on. The football players got laid; the basketball players got laid; but the student council geeks only had sex about once in four years. He spent time at his girl's church, and learned all about the Right way to do things. Hell, he learned so much about it, he decided he could tell others how they should live their lives.

He railed about the evil's of gay marriage. It's been quite fashionable, lately, for the skull and bones set, to come to washington from their prep school educations, and begin to lambast the very life they've been leading in school. Of course they don't refer to that life as gay; it's just youthful experimentation among men who have a hard time with the ladies. When you're stuck in a house with 30 or 40 other guys for four years, or a dormitory with hundreds of others, there's a bunch of grab-ass and towel-slapping going on. Probably quite a few adolescent erections, too. Seems likely to me, that eventually all them circle jerks would lead to some mutual masturbation.

And what a dilemma that brings about. It feels good, but it's gotta stay a secret. Even if you take your disturbing thoughts to your priest or minister, there's NO WAY you can get any good advice from them. Must be why they all got them long robes; to hide the altar boys, underneath? So there's a lot of conflict brewing, about sex and sexuality, and not many sources of good advice for these guys. They suppress the feelings and move on. They marry their sweethearts, raise a family, go to church, hang out at the club; The good life, the american way. Once or twice a month/(year ?), there's that perfunctory sex, but since it's a sin to enjoy it, it keeps messing with the mind. Better to focus on the prize, take the long view, work on amassing that great fortune that will buy your way into heaven.

But as the repression starts to gnaw at the psyche, and sex at home becomes less and less fun, eventually apathy creeps in. You're older and you just don't care anymore. You're dick still stands tall in the morning, but at night, in bed with your partner, those same stirrings are absent. And it's puzzling for them. They know after a good workout at the gym, when they're luxuriating in the shower, the old boy feels as frisky as ever. But at night, in bed with sweetpea,it's a No Wake zone. Most guys can tell you, that if there's a place where they always get an erection, that's where they'll be. The #2 health club in Chicago, with it's yuppified membership, indoor tennis courts, and tanning booths and beds, has no curtains on it's showers.So unless you shower facing the spray, you see the others around you. And vice/versa. Half the guys wander the locker room nude. It's the way it is. You learn in high school to maintain eye contact in these situations. It's what the freshman football coach is there to teach you.

So i guess it's no surprise that this "gay thing" has become such an issue, of late. Gerald Ford was the last football player to be elected president. Since that time, we've had runners, and prep school geeks. Religious fanatics and bluebloods. Bless their repressed souls, it's how they've been brought up. When they get to Washington, away from the prying eyes of their constituencies, it's natural for them to break out. They hit the strip clubs, and locate the madams. And of course, there's the pages. What repressed gay man in his right mind wouldn't keep a stable of nubile young boys handy, given the power to do so? And Washington is all about power. The power to get laid. The freedom to get it off, when and however.

And it stands to reason that power corrupts. It gives these guys their first taste of freedom. Once you start to let the cat outta the bag, there's no telling how things will turn out. Back home, in front of the voters, you're this pillar of goodness. Telling some guy,"Shame on you, you got a blow job from a woman you're not married to. You'll burn in hell for that!" But in the airport restroom in Minn. you're just another pervert, getting pee stains on your trousers, in search of a thrill. Looking for that adrenaline rush that makes it all worthwhile!

When it comes right down to it, i guess i didn't answer the Gay(?)happy/unhappy riddle i set out to. Like the senator said; "I'm not gay! I've never been gay!!" HUH??
But i can't wait 'til Hillary is elected. You know how much guys like to watch two lesbians going at it. Gonna be good times.

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ROSES R RED
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TWO'S COMPANY; THREE'S An ORGY
THINGS CHANGE
LIFE , THE UNIVERSE , AND EVERYTHING ELSE...DA
LIKE A WHISPER, IN THE NIGHT
LOOKS LIKE WE'LL HAVE TO KEEP AT THIS 'TIL WE GET IT RIGHT
HOW COME THEY CALL IT GAY , IF NOBODY'S HAPPY???
HEY PEDOPHILE: GET OFF MY SEX SITE!!!
SO I"M FU&*IN' HUMAN
MY AMD SPACE
SUNDAY MORNING COMIN DOWN RANT**** I STOLE THIS TITLE From P M....
WHAT GOOD R STANDARDS, IF U CAN ADJUST THEM??
MY APOLOGIES, AMD............
WHERE'S THE FRICKIN' KUDOS ??
SO ... SO ...
NEW DAZE
MEDICATION TIME.....MEDICATION TIME !!
HOLY F&%K BATMAN; THIS IS A SEX SITE ??
PEACEFUL MEANDERINGS OF A TORTURED SOUL
IN DEFENCE of TROLLS
SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE, i didn't come here to cause no trouble
the last word on bitchin' blogs; STOP


Comments:

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Lisa46

Sep 4 @ 10:16AM  
You know how much guys like to watch two lesbians going at it.

Yep just like a man! wants to watch two women
Pudge2you

Sep 4 @ 10:39AM  
LOLOLOLOL!!! you are DA MAN!!! waaaayyyyyyy cool!
tetons

Sep 4 @ 10:46AM  
Dude, that means a lot, coming from you. tanksh.
casuallylooking

Sep 4 @ 11:39AM  
sitting here shaking my head and thinking, Only you could put this so delicately and still get that sharp point through......LOL
Good blog..........
casuallylooking

Sep 4 @ 11:42AM  
psst, left you a little green square guy on the table.
rndyrss

Sep 4 @ 2:30PM  
thats what it would be if Hilary got with another chick....a good point...lol....but the blog itself was great
Looking4ever

Sep 4 @ 2:40PM  



Here's a freaking kudo that you can trade for sex.....










.....but only in the men's room!
borty293

Sep 4 @ 3:53PM  
Yes ...there is alot of religious people who frequent washrooms...why just the other day ..I was taking my regular dump and some guy in the next stall said...Christ..drain my fuckn cock you bitch...and then he said a few minutes later .he said....God that was good....
NachoBaby

Sep 4 @ 5:05PM  
The mind wobbles... Ru Paul for Prez.. we know where that bitch has been!
redbronze

Sep 8 @ 7:12PM  
to funny and too close lol... you rock....

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HOW COME THEY CALL IT GAY , IF NOBODY'S HAPPY???