I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work in great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp enviroment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark envirmetn that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Yours truly,
Penis
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative--you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary saftey regulation, such as wearing the correct protectvie clothing
You'll retire well before you reach 65
You're unable to work double shifts before you have completed the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplave carrying 2 suspicious looking bags
Sincerely,
The Management
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