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posted 8/26/2007 6:14:59 PM |
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  slohand_47

Just got back from a weeks vacation and haven't totally caught up with the blogs I've missed so hope this wasn't recently posted.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are
a lot more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started
doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by slohand_47:
Texas Deputy and the New York Lawyer
Friendly or Flirting?
The weather in Hell
Bad Boys What's the attraction???
What's your name for B.O.B
Random thoughts
Jerry Springer
Perspective
Do women think like men?
Me too. I ABSOLUTELY will not answer


Comments:

post a comment!

ValentineGirl214

Aug 26 @ 6:20PM  
Hope you had a Wonderful Vacation!!! Welcome Back!
Wordsofwit

Aug 26 @ 6:36PM  
obsolete
Angel_45304

Aug 26 @ 6:37PM  
Lisa46

Aug 26 @ 6:57PM  
you go on vacation without me??? What kinda friend is you??? Did you bring me back a souviner?????
slohand_47

Aug 26 @ 7:06PM  
Hi Lisa.

I brought ya back a couple pieces of the BEST pecan pie you ever tasted.
Now let me see...... I could have sworn they were around here somewhere..... (munch munch.... wiping crumbs off lip...)

Now where they heck are they.
Lisa46

Aug 26 @ 7:28PM  
gimme kiss let me taste your mouth bet I can find the pie
slohand_47

Aug 26 @ 7:48PM  
Sure thing, girl...... c'mon over here.......

How's that? Sweet...... nutty...... (we still talking pie here?
mrknowuwell

Aug 26 @ 7:53PM  
OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO...........back to cream pies again.........
casuallylooking

Aug 26 @ 7:55PM  
gimme kiss let me taste your mouth bet I can find the pie
@ Lisa. But I'll bet she's right.
Okay, you brought her pecan pie, and Umm misplaced it. What'd you bring the rest of us???
I can't believe you didn't even ask if anyone wanted to go with you.... "sigh"
LOL . Hope you had a wonderful time....
Ewe_Wish

Aug 26 @ 8:10PM  
I can't believe you didn't even ask if anyone wanted to go with you....
Ummm Treas.....He did............but Borty couldn't get away from work.




Welcome Back Slo!!
slohand_47

Aug 26 @ 8:17PM  
Okay, you brought her pecan pie, and Umm misplaced it. What'd you bring the rest of us???
I'm reminded of a scene from Blazing Saddles where a bad guy is shot for chewing gum.... cuz he didn't bring enough for everyone! Next time I'll do better.

I can't believe you didn't even ask if anyone wanted to go with you.... "sigh"

Well... that's not entirely true........ I was meeting up with an old friend when I got out there....

And I did try to meet up with another friend on the way out...... but I got a late start... was driving straight through..... and was passing thru her town around 6am so wouldn't have been polite to call that early.
casuallylooking

Aug 27 @ 1:42AM  
Next time I'll do better.
Okay, then.....we'll let it slide this time, and not shoot you.
6am so wouldn't have been polite to call that early.
Uhh, why not?
but Borty couldn't get away from work
Well, at least if it was work, he must have finally gotten out of the closet. For now anyways.

Oh and BTW, like Dayna said, Welcome back!


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