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Sex Horror-scope 3

posted 10/2/2006 2:32:09 PM |
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Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)--

Let the games begin! Libra will try anything once. Twice to make sure they liked it. Three times to be absolutely sure. Do not touch a Libra's head during oral sex...that may work with an Aries, but not here. Libras LOVE giving oral - They LOVE getting it , too. But don't feel like they get enough...too bad, because they sure as hell are getting enough of everything else. They will buy toys to make YOU use it on THEM. Libras are mental creatures that believe in living and fulfilling fantasies that they haven't done in real life...which is rare because they have done almost EVERYTHING. They have no problem sploshing. To them, sitting in a pie COULD be fun. Porn? Bring it on! Sex, video AND food? ALRIGHT! They are heavily exhibitionistic by accident. They are accident prone, they lose bras, underware, condoms....they also accidentally end up in bed with people. Amazing how THAT works! They like to cross dress. Both sexes do this quite well, actually. Male Librans are mistaken for women all the time, and Female Libras are mistaken for men every now and again too...its because they are under the goddess Aphrodite. They are never just ONE sex. They can always feel what the opposite sex feels. Which is why they are rarely clingy, except in rare circumstances when they have been led on, then watch the manipulative side of the scales swing. They love to role play and play dress up. They like to dress like hookers or Queen Elizabeth (This is the men, too!) Who are they really? It depends on what day of the week it is. They believe that life is too short to date ugly people in more ways than one. So if you are being shagged by a Libra, there is a good reason. Whether you are attractive physically, emotionally, mentally or have a fantastic sense of humor, there is always a reason for a Libra to be fucking you. But they HATE vulgarity. They despise feeling like they are on a waiting list to get your attention...worse yet, feeling like they are your groupie. That won't last long, then. They have already figured out HOW to destroy they are biding their time to see how long until they throw YOU away...with nothing. But, if you get past all that, expect long luxurious nights talking and playing Strip Tarot or Naked Chess. They are the Graceful Slut...but not slutty and yet accident prone. If you are going to fuck a Libra: Get mirrors. Lots of them. They have more vanity issues than a Gemini. Nothing is TOO kinky for them. They are the eternal Courtesan or Concubine. They are sex therapists, porn writers who knows?

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21) --

HOLEE SHIT! here comes the masters and mistresses of FUCKing
Sorry Leo, but Scorps ARE the leaders in the Kink O Rama factor (Leos are in second place, so don't worry that much leos)
Scorpios KNOW how to seduce.
They KNOW what is kinky.
They are highly manipulative.
They KNOW how to get you to do what THEY want.
They KNOW how to fuck.
And they are making room for modifications.
All they have to do is walk into a room and look at you, and you WILL be on your back assuming the position.
Anne Rice (During her 'Beauty' phase) wants to be a Scorpio. Leos and Scorpios make for a fabulous tryst.they are the BEST in bed together..but if the emotions are not there then that's a different story. Don't dare TRY to make a Scorpio jealous...they will duct tape you to a chair and make you watch them fuck your boss..or your sister/brother..or Mother...hell, that's their idea of a typical normal Thursday night. They love to use gag balls. They always have carpet burns on their knees and back...this is from their constant rutting like a wild weasel in heat. They are also very cunning and secretive. They have a fetish for riding crops and bridles. Most Scorpios have mastered the Binaca Blowjob for heightened and elongated pleasure. I hope you can go the distance and can make them come...otherwise gods help ya.
Favorite Song: Master and Servant.
Most female Scorpios have a horrible tendency of being Alcohol Lesbians...get them drunk enough they will kiss a girl...or two....or three...or five....
but beware their sting!

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post a comment!


Oct 2 @ 2:44PM  
I'm replying to my own for a reason.
I'm a cusp girl..born on Oct 23... some horroscopes say I'm a Libra..other's say I'm a Scorp. I like to think I have the best of both world. One of conflicting karma at times--where my head and my heart ar in constant battle.

The horoscope for Libra cracks me up. I don't cross dress. Though this part is true:
They will buy toys to make YOU use it on THEM

After reading both 'scopes, I confess. I'm more of a beware of my sting. ;)

Oct 4 @ 7:46PM  
**Shakes her head** as she reads about the Scorpio... how true, how true.. LoL

One thing tho.... it doesn't take alcohol for me.... *winks*

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Sex Horror-scope 3