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Dear God, from the Dog

posted 8/24/2007 1:12:05 PM |
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tagged: joke
  MissMisty

TO: GOD: FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
"Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
!
5 The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table


9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?


"You don't stop laughing when you get old,
you get old when you stop laughing!!"

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Comments:

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Lisa46

online now!
Aug 24 @ 1:24PM  
these are great!!
BusterHymen345

Aug 24 @ 2:42PM  
The Litter Box is not a cookie jar

but the 5 second rule still applies...right?
HollyHummy

Aug 24 @ 8:17PM  
really cute!!!
Ewe_Wish

Aug 24 @ 8:46PM  

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Dear God, from the Dog