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Gotta Love those Seniors!!!

posted 8/24/2007 9:59:53 AM |
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tagged: joke

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

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Aug 24 @ 10:06AM  
Guess the pharmacist knew that camels are notorious spitters.....

Aug 24 @ 11:03AM  
One hump, Or two?


Aug 24 @ 2:33PM  

Aug 24 @ 5:03PM  
Thank you very kindly!I had not heard that one. Lately the jokes on here that are posted are jokes that somebody else posted within the last few weeks or month. Thank you once again. I saved it into my archive of what I call "geriatrics".

Here are some more and this is by no means the complete archive. Enjoy..giggles and grins, and thank you for something completely different!

Maude, Edna and Tillie were lifelong friends who resided in a nursing home in their golden years. Maude and Edna were relatively spry but did have heart conditions. Tillie was not so fortunate as arthritis had left her largely confined to a wheelchair. Every evening after dining, they loved to sit out on the porch to watch the sunset and hear the sounds of the night as they recalled memories of their long lives. One night, without warning, a naked man sprang forth from out of the bushes and exposed himself in front of each astounded lady individually. First Maude had a stroke. Then Edna had a stroke. But poor Tilly was too infirm to reach that far.

A woman goes to the hospital to visit her widowed father who has overdosed on
viagra. While on her way to father's room, she passes into a ward where four
elderly men are vigorously masturbating. Appalled she goes the head nurse and
demands an explanation. The nurse explains that it is part of their therapy
and they must do this to relieve pressure or they will over produce semen
which can lead to testicle swelling and a fatal rupture. Still shaken, the
woman accepts the explanation and proceeds to her father's room hurrying past
the four men in therapy. She opens the door to her father's room and a
gorgeous nurse is giving her father a blow job. Appalled she again goes the
head nurse and demands an explanation. The head nurse informs her that it is
the same condition and therapy but that her father has a better health plan.

An elderly man goes to his doctor and explains that he wants a perscription for
viagra. He is a widow and his seventy fifth birthday is coming up and he has
arranged for three gorgeous young girls to entertain him that evening. The
doctor writes the perscription and warns him to be careful. Two weeks later the
old guy returns. The doctor sees him and asks why he has come in and the old
guy opens his fly and whips out his bloody mangled cock. The doctor is
horrified as the old guy explains that the girls never showed up.
A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got
  a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and
  sat at the end and ordered a drink. He noticed a
  seventy year old woman at the other end of the bar
  and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young
  lady a drink. As evening progressed, the old man
  joined the lady and they went to her apartment,
  where they got it on.

  Four days later, the old man noticed that he was
  developing a drip, and he headed for the rest home
  doctor.  After careful examination the doctor asked
  the old man if he had engaged in sex recently. 

  The old man said, "Sure!"

  The doctor asked if he could remember who the woman
  was and where she lived.

  "Sure, why?"

  "Well you'd better get over there, you're about to cum!"

Aug 24 @ 8:20PM  

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Gotta Love those Seniors!!!