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Is being honest only something we tell our children to do?

posted 8/19/2007 7:57:37 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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Can someone please explain to me why people come on this site--or any other dating site--and suddenly forget how to tell the truth? I'm not talking about saying you're 6' when you're only 5'11". Or saying you weigh 110 when you actually weigh more like 122.
Why join and get involved with people when you really don't want anyone to know the real you?
There are quite a few that have been on here that are like that. They say they want more than a one night, no strings, no questions asked thing. And they seem to get very involved with people on this site, then's over. Most times with no explanation. A lot of times with no goodbyes. No answers. No closure. No truths. Just out of the cleat blue they seem to be taken from the planet. Other times, they just weren't who they seemed to be from the beginning.
Someone explain to me why they intentionally set out to hurt people. People who learn to genuinely care about them, who actually look towards a future with them. People who trust them and allow their hearts and emotions to get involved with them.
We teach our children to tell the truth. To be nice. To do unto others. That it's not nice to hurt peoples feelings on purpose. Then we find adults who don't know how to follow those guidelines or common courtesies. ( Hell most of them probably teach their children these coutesies)) All I really want to know is WHY? Are they just so miserable that they feel the need to drag others down with them? Do they some how care but got so involved in lying to make themselves look better, that now they can't admit their faults and be honest about everything? Do they set out to do this from the very beginning? Do they have any true feelings?
Am I, as well as many others, asking for too much by wanting someone to just be honest? At least when we get wanna fuck emails, at least we know that persons true intentions...... Oh and I'm not just blaming men for this, I know there are women that do it too.

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Aug 19 @ 8:08PM  
Why do people feel the need to lie you ask?? To keep those wanting the truth in the Dark and to Hide. It's something I have never tolerated.

Aug 19 @ 8:09PM  
I taught my children to lie........they never listened to me anyways so i was playing it safe.

Sorry, Tre, but i thought that was funny. lol i dont know why they do it, we have had this talk many times trying to figure out what the "truth" was, and the sad part is we are never going to know but we rebuild our lives and go on. (We is generalized for anyone this has happened too) I think alot of times small lies to impress go to big lies they cant defend and instead of saying hey i kinda made this part up.....they are more willing to lose the person that loves them....than take a chance of staying, telling the truth, and possibly be forgive.

Aug 19 @ 8:11PM  
its largely due to the stigma "its just the internet", I think sometimes folks come on here not planning to do anything then get caught up in a world wind of activity, I know I have said things that mean one thing to me and another thing to someone else entirely .......... misunderstandings?

Aug 19 @ 8:14PM  
I have taught my kids to be honest - I think most parents do. One problem, I think, is that the world itself is full of lies, deceptions, and bullshit fluff...

BTW - I tried to say I was 5'9" in my profile but they only list even numbered I wrote it in my essay instead. I'm tall enough as it is, I don't want to round it up to be taller, nor down to be shorter.

Aug 19 @ 8:17PM  
Gosh I feel guilty so I confess: I'm not really a pirate. I'm a viking.

Aug 19 @ 8:20PM  
when I first came online back in 98 I was the most trusting soul online, I believed what everyone said, never in my wildest notions did I ever think anyone would like or make up stories just to get them what they wanted, or what they thought they could get away with.

It even went so far as me falling for a guy hook, line and sinker, I never thought I could fall for someone that deeply online, and who I trusted 100%, believed everything he told me for a few years, only to find out he was the biggest, and I mean Biggest player online ever. But that's another story. LOL

But now me, I'm as honest as they come, what you see is what you get, what I put on my profile is the God's honest truth, I don't see the sense in lying, if I tell you I'm 5'7" and weigh 125 lbs and then you meet me and you see me for the first time and you go and you see that I"m only 5'4" and 235 lbs, then who's the fool? And I have just dishonored someone who I thought was a good friend, good enough to meet, and share parts of my life and stories with, and then I just ruined it with that first meeting? Nawwwwwww that's not something I would do to anyone. I've always taught my honest, don't ever lie, and hurt their feelings, be true to yourself as well as your friends, and always make good on a promise, don't ever promise anything you can't keep, cuz breaking a promise is like lying.

I just wished everyone else felt that way too.

Good Blog Casually thanks for sharing!

Aug 19 @ 8:53PM  
i dont lie i dont kiss anyones ass either, i say it how it is and if you cant handle it then oh well not my problem cuz i tell the truth, ask me anything and you'll get the truth, this is why i guess i dont get along with alot on here cuz i know they are full of shiot and just want to tell you what yuou want to hear, why cant people just say what ehy really feel? to many try to be all nice just to put on a front so you like them lol

Aug 19 @ 8:57PM  
...they seem to get very involved with people on this site, then's over. Most times with no explanation. A lot of times with no goodbyes. No answers. No closure. No truths. Just out of the cleat blue they seem to be taken from the planet...

I have known people who have done that. They will tell their online friends, but not the whole site. Usually departure comes from one of three reasons; burn out, failing to meet anyone, or they enter into a relationship.

Aug 19 @ 9:09PM  
Is being honest only something we tell our children to do?

Not everyone.

But sadly, most.

In a world where morality is a buzzword, taken to mean "social norms" instead of it's classical an environment where litigation is a time when people are so worried about just holding their lives together that it is difficult for them to look up from their enforced duties... a world like that, the the best liars become kings.


Aug 19 @ 9:49PM  
" a world like that, the best liars become kings."

Or president. Or governor. Or chief justice of the supreme court. Or mayor.

It's only down here, at the bottom of the food chain, that such a premium is put on truth. We don't make enough to be told the truth. And we don't fight hard enough to get it.

Our country is built on a foundation of lies; so it kinda follows that the people that live here care more about good impressions, and flattering appraisals than the truth.

We elect the best liar President.

The problem isn't the liars, it's the people that accept the lies.

Aug 19 @ 11:00PM  
I can relate, so... I still believe that honesty is the best policy. Sometimes, I'd rather have my head kicked in, but I'll wait for her explanation...

Aug 19 @ 11:07PM  
sorry dear we were taught to tell the truth, do unto others as you would expect them to treat you. ect. ect. ect. well the truth is most people are out for themselves. I've been lied to cheated on and brokenhearted! oh and stolen from... I guess I haven't learned yet cause I keep trying to find someone who I can love and who will love me and make me laugh or just getting that look across a busy room. So in the meantime I will enjoy my friends and hope someday I will meet the one man who will make my life happy..

Aug 19 @ 11:12PM  
I still believe that honesty is the best policy
I believe that too. And sometimes when someone loves you so many things can be forgiven.....IF the person is willing to come clean with everything and start over....... Some people just do not have the ability or the desire to do that.

Aug 20 @ 3:17AM  
I don't have any panties on right now....ohhh sorry ...wrong number...

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Is being honest only something we tell our children to do?