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MEN

posted 8/15/2007 11:43:59 AM |

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tagged: joke

Lisa46

1. Men are like .. Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like.Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .... Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .... Chocolate Bars . Sweet, smooth, & they usually head
right for your hips.
6. Men are like ....Commercials ?....... You can't believe a word they
say.
7. Men are like Department Stores . Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds ?.... They take soooooooo long to
mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn .... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how
many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .......Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are
handicapped.

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post a comment!

lifeizabitch

Aug 15 @ 11:46AM

Very good,

dragonsflame61

Aug 15 @ 11:50AM

Isn't so true!!!

max49

Aug 15 @ 12:28PM

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa... I resemble those remarks.

Ewe_Wish

Aug 15 @ 12:47PM

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa... I resemble those remarks.
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa......Yes, Max does!!!

bandengor

Aug 15 @ 1:02PM

I'm not even going to comment.... umm....yeah.

NightOfOld

Aug 15 @ 2:31PM

Lisa; Shame on you.

Argit01

Aug 15 @ 5:00PM

Duh I'm not like those men. I have the intelligence of 10 watt light bulb

anomader

Aug 15 @ 5:21PM

"It's a man's world, but not without a woman or a girl" - James Brown

lickrick

Aug 15 @ 6:12PM

Tried to find some: "Women are like" jokes but found this instead . . .

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Mathematics of Men and Women Relationships

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random Thoughts on Man and Woman Relationships

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
His and Hers Road Trip

HERS

1. Pulls off at wrong exit.

2. Opens window.

3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer.

4. Arrives at destination presently.

HIS

1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.

2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.

3. Drives an extra five miles just in case.

4. Finally rolls down window.

5. Hocks a loogie.

6. Pulls up to a 7-Eleven.

7. Gets three hot dogs, a large Slurpee and beef jerky.

8. Asks foreigner behind counter how to get back onto the highway.

9. Gets back into car.

10. Farts, after he closes the door.

11. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-Eleven. 12. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because the pimply 17-year-old 7-Eleven cashier said it was.

13. Almost hits a deer.

14. Curses the night.

15. Curses you.

16. Curses the large Slurpee.

17. Stops by the side of the road.

18 Takes a leak.

19. Still taking a leak.

20. Almost done...I think.

21. Returns to car.

22. Drives and fiddles with radio.

23. Yells at you for suggesting the map again.

24. Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway.

25. He hates your sister, ever since she called him a pernicious weasel.

26. He had to look up pernicious.

27. Couldn't find a dictionary.

28. Finally found a dictionary.

29. Couldn't spell pernicious.

30. Seethes at the memory of it all.

31. But she is laughing inside.

32. And of course you're still lost.

TattooedRawkStar

Aug 15 @ 6:22PM

Women are like ... different people every fucking time you talk to them.

We may be simple, but I much prefer it to complicated.

borachone

Aug 15 @ 7:42PM

You forgot we are like diapers ---always on your ass for something and always full of shit

redman68938

Sep 5 @ 10:19AM

wow ! i hope it just a joke and hope your not into male bashing . it goes both ways you know. you know you already messed up before ,lol

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