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The whole truth!

posted 8/4/2007 9:47:37 AM |
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  Lisa46

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

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Comments:

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baldbychoice2kx

Aug 4 @ 9:55AM  
That was funny!!
Wordsofwit

Aug 4 @ 10:12AM  
I have gotten that one a few times via email in the past few months.
borachone

Aug 4 @ 10:29AM  
Ps sex burns 17 calories per minute wanna go on a diet with me ?
Lisa46

Aug 4 @ 10:34AM  
Ps sex burns 17 calories per minute wanna go on a diet with me ?

would love to
borachone

Aug 4 @ 10:40AM  
Woo hoo gonna go lose some weight
Ewe_Wish

Aug 4 @ 11:06AM  
buatbu

Aug 4 @ 11:17AM  
I been on a diet and working out at the gym faithfully for a month - only gained 4 lbs.

DIET is a four letter word.
NightOfOld

Aug 4 @ 12:53PM  

SxzeNewMe

Aug 4 @ 1:11PM  
Good one! This one was new to me :)
Nutrisse

Aug 4 @ 2:22PM  
oralsucker247

Aug 4 @ 3:46PM  
Makes sense to me!
jezzarae

Aug 4 @ 3:58PM  
Lisa that was hilarious thankyou.
HollyHummy

Aug 4 @ 6:45PM  
bkaw810

Aug 4 @ 10:51PM  
so true it's hilarious
bentan

Aug 5 @ 5:41AM  
The Devil cheated me ... he said I was going to be the only guy running that ice cream business.

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The whole truth!