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And They Ask Why I Like Retirement!

posted 7/26/2007 5:35:55 PM |
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People are all the time asking me how I like retirement.
What's not to like about it.
Just consider the following.
Any other retirees have some to add?

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest.

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Jul 26 @ 5:38PM  
yeah ever since my dad retired all he does is play pool in the winter and fish in the summer and we gotta call and see if he's home before viisting!

Jul 26 @ 5:45PM  
two thumbs more..
cute blog...

Jul 26 @ 6:56PM  
Good man ... do you have to rub it in?

Jul 26 @ 10:24PM  
Damn... I can NEVER find that in the classifieds... they always expect work out of me. Where'd you find such a great gig?

Jul 26 @ 11:24PM  
Retirement is great. Uncle Sam said go home, put your feet up, Watch tv, and check the mail on payday.



Jul 27 @ 12:36AM  
Yeah Lisa retirement is great. You just have to save for it so you can enjoy it.


Jul 27 @ 12:37AM  
HollyHummy, thumbs isn't the only thing that dance gets up.


Jul 27 @ 12:38AM  
Hey Ben,


Jul 27 @ 12:39AM  
TRS - it only took 31 years and 4 months working for the government.
But now that it's over it was worth every day.

Only problem is now I'm thinking of getting a job just to get a break.

Jul 27 @ 12:42AM  
Hornytoad, it is great. But you need to get direct deposit, it's too much work to walk to the mailbox to get the check.

Jul 27 @ 3:20AM  
swyeter you are right I did that last week. Maybe one more trip to the mail box.


Jul 27 @ 9:19AM  
well hell hey swyter did you save any for retirement??

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And They Ask Why I Like Retirement!