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Shopping Trip

posted 7/26/2007 1:00:55 AM |
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Several years ago my best friend and I were talking and she was complaining about the vibrator that her boyfriend had bought her breaking, again! Seems he had re-wired it once and it was on the fritz again. It was Mother's day weekend so we decided to do a little shopping for ourselves! I got a sitter for my son and we headed out to make a day of it. Now living in the "ozark boonies" as we do this narrowed our choices severely of where to go shopping for such fun accessories. But we drove over to the next town about 30 miles and stopped in a nice little shop that is a favorite of mine. It sells some awesome lingerie and a small but nice collection of "toys". We shopped there a bit but really found nothing that caught our attention other than some lingerie. And then it was off to another town, another shop. Now this next shop is not just a toy shop, it's actually a novelty and party shop that just happened to carry a small collection of some usually pretty good toys. Now in this shop the "toys" were kept in a big cardboard carton on the floor near the back of the store. It was fairly early in the day and when we got there we were the only customers in the store. We made our way to the back of the store and knealt down on the floor and began looking through all the goodies. There was only one sales clerk on duty and she looked to be in her late 70's, she came by to see if we needed any help and then excused herself to the back as she had to get a balloon order ready for someone to pick up. We were digging through the box oohing and aaahing over the neat stuff we were finding , scattering some on the floor and digging deeper into the box. Suddenly we hear the bell on the door ring and my friend glances over her shoulder long enough to notice that two guys have come into the shop. She freaks a little and whispers that there are guys in here now. I answered so, we don't live here, we'll probably never see them again, we're adults, who cares? The guys are wandering around the other part of the shop so we finish with our selecting and then she is too embarrassed to carry them to the counter! I grab them up, she had chosen an "Eager Beaver" and I had a slim smooth vibe and a "Chocolate Monster" that was for a joke on my B/f at the time. We walk up to the counter and I lay them down when suddenly Jen is pushing over against me, she grabs the boxes and flips them over on the counter so you can't see the names and is standing VERY close to me. I glance back and realize the two guys, which now that they are close I can see are VERY good looking, are right behind us at the counter! The little old lady has come out from the back room and begins to ring up our purchases. By now Jen is nearly on top of me she is holding onto my arm and trying desperately to hide the items on the counter. I start to laugh over her freaking out. The little old lady looks at me and asks what's so funny and I manage to squeak out that I'm laughing at Jen. Jen quickly pays for her "Eager Beaver" and the little old lady puts it in a semi clear bag and hands it to her. She is trying to hide it under her arm so no one can see the box through the bag. Now my giggles are quickly turning to gales of laughter. The little old lady begins to ring up my stuff and tells me the amount. I reach in my wallet for the good old atm card as I never carry cash. Now this is a small shop and they don't have the electronic slide for the atm/credit card. They have the old fashioned kind that she has to write down all my info on the paper carbon sheets, then place my card on it, slide it across and then actually call the number to make sure it will clear. By now Jen is mortified and I'm in hysterics! I've got tears running down both cheeks, Jen is nearly breaking my arm with her grip and is huddled so close that I am certain the guys behind us are going to think we're lesbians anyway. Jen is whispering quite loudly why can't you just carrry cash like normal people?? This starts a fresh bout of hysteria. The little old lady has decided we are insane Lesbians and is shaking her head and mumbling under her breath. Finally the transaction clears and she hands me my semi clear bag laoded up with my slim vibe and the "Chocolate Monster" which is plainly visible through the bag! We turn to leave and Jen lets out a shreik, grabs my arm and drags me right over the top of a greeting card rack on the way to the door! I'm stumbling trying to stop and pick up the cards that have gone flying about but she has a firm grip and drags me out onto the sidewalk and toward my truck. I'm trying to wipe the tears long enough to find my keys which always sneak off to the bottom of my purse when Jenn starts yelling "what are the fucking chances? open the damn door! just what are the fucking chances??" I'm struggling to get the key in the lock on the drivers side and she is beating on the passenger side window still shouting about chances. I finally get the door open, hit the lock release and she throws the door open, jumps in and yells "let's go, NOW" I start the truck and am still wiping tears as I back from the spot. I drive over to the other side of the parking lot and stop to wipe some more tears and try to get a handle on my now fits of laughter before pulling out into the busy Saturday traffic. I look over and ask her just what she means about "what are the fucking chances?" She said "You said, we'll go here no one will know you, we don't live here, so just what are the fucking chances of running into someone you know?" Now here is where I should tell you that Jen is a teller in a bank, a very prominent bank and she is at a very visible and busy window. One of the guys in the shop? Well he was the new loan officer at her bank, whose office just happened to be right across from her teller window! She is freaking out big time, what will he think of her? What will she say on Monday when she sees him at work. I told her just say you were shopping for a friend whose getting a divorce or something if he even asks. And if he does, ask him just what he was doing in there? She finally calmed down and we made our way home. He didn't say anything for a few weeks, but when he did, she was quick to ask him "Well just what were YOU doing in there?" He just grinned and said he was there to pick up the balloon order for his sisters wedding reception! Needless to say that was years ago and I've never been able to convince Jen to go toy shopping with me since then!

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Jul 26 @ 1:13AM  
The first time I went to a toy shop with a friend we both chickened out and never got out of the car, the second time i got accosted by a big burly truckdriver outside, Now i just order online.

That was a great story Stormy would have loved to been a mouse in the corner watching you two.


Jul 26 @ 1:56AM  
Hey Dayna we've gotten some different stores around here now including an Adult Superstore (it's the size of most WalMarts!) come on down, we'll go shopping!!

Jul 26 @ 1:59AM  

Especially in an Adult Toy Store. Im on my way, suitcase in the car, gotta stop for cash, have my check card and I'll see you in about 11 hrs.

Jul 26 @ 2:00AM  

*zips in to pick her up to go shopping..*

now..just so yano......a) i aint pullin over...... b) we're buying Joy Jelly NOT that motion lotion shit...ewwww oil base sucks bad


Jul 26 @ 9:35AM  
Yay for Adult Superstores!!! I love the one here.

Jul 26 @ 10:45AM  

Y'all do NOT want to go to the toystore with me. It's an all day process and I am known for standing there with my head cocked looking at something and saying "what the FUCK do ya do with THAT?" and reading ALL of the packaging before I make a decision about what I am going to buy.

Jul 26 @ 2:34PM  

Jul 26 @ 3:50PM  
Y'all do NOT want to go to the toystore with me. It's an all day process and I am known for standing there with my head cocked looking at something and saying "what the FUCK do ya do with THAT?" and reading ALL of the packaging before I make a decision about what I am going to buy.

WRONG! I'd love to...cuz I'm the same way when I go to them. Hell, I've spent hours, I mean hours in sex, not because I'm a sick, twisted, dirty, perverted, kinky sex freak...well ok, I am...but

Fact is, I can spend hours in a sex shop for the very same reasons as you stated... In fact, I've taken women to sex shops on our 1st dates a few times... Only because I like to do things that are fun and out of the boring normal...

Jul 26 @ 3:53PM  
Sorry ladybootscooter...

Forgot to mention...GREAT STORY! Had me laughin' and hard enough to have tears of laughter in my eyes...

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Shopping Trip