I am developing a deep, burning love for Lindsey Lohan. What began as a simple infatuation, when we (Lindsey and myself) would tease each other back and forth (she by allowing pictures such as this and this 2 be taken…myself by digging through her trash and carting away my treasures 2 enjoy later…), sometimes through the media and other times during anonymous phone calls in the middle of the night and packages left with no return address. We did go through a bit of a rough patch there for awhile, when that slut Britney Spears wuz up 2 her tricks (especially when she wuz hanging out with Paris…), but throughout it all Lindsey and I have never lost our love for one another…
But seriously…I think it iz fairly common knowledge that I don’t mind a naked body. I don’t mind if a woman wants 2 flash her tits or moon her buddies…it really duzn’t bother me. What duz fucking bug me iz when she starts being all hypocritical about the shit. Look bitch…let’s get two things straight. One, don’t flash Ur pussy if U don’t want me 2 look, and two, wear panties. That way I may be able 2 avoid looking up Ur skirt on accident. But U ain’t got no drawers on bitch? It’s a done fucking deal. And don’t be getting all fucking mad at me for looking, either. U knew what U were doing when U waxed that shit last Thursday, bitch! And take this pic, for instance. Fucking Britney Spears has been having her fucking picture taken every second she wuz outside the house for the last ten freaking years. U trying 2 tell me she didn’t have a reasonable expectation of this happening when she climbed N2 the fucking limo with no fucking panties on? Come the fuck on? What will U try 2 sell me next? That Bush really gave more of a fuck about WMDs than he did Halliburton Oil futures, or maybe that Clinton really didn’t fuck the fat chick at the White House Christmas Party?
Which brings me back 2 Lindsey Lohan..if I have 2 live in a fucking fantasy world anyway, It’s gonna be one with a hot chick who will say the coke iz hers…
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