May 7, 1982... PROM NIGHT
Went to a fairly small high school, about 120 kids in the graduating class. My group of friends decided we should all pair up, regardless of whether we were dating others, be they underclassmen/women or kids from outside our school, just so that all of us seniors could go to prom and have that experience. I got paired up with Erick Herman. Think... Herman Munster with strawberry blonde, but more pinkish than anything else hair. He was class valedictorian, and about as geeky as they come... he seriously could have been one of the characters in Revenge of the Nerds.
First bizarre experience of the night.... (now admittedly, my friend who was there with the second nerdiest guy... and I, had been hiding in the ladies room and out side where I could sneak cigarettes most of the night and ignoring/avoiding our dates) Erick walks over and asks if he can have a dance with me ... sadly at that moment, they put a slow song on. He leads me out on the floor, and pulls me ENTIRELY too close, then takes this HUGE.. ENORMOUS inhale (surprised he didn't snort my entire dress up his nose it was that big) and says to me... "You smell really nice tonight" And he would know I smelled differently than any other night HOW... when he'd never been closer than 8 feet from me previously?
Second bizarre experience.... the date is FINALLY... EXCRUCIATINGLY... over and Erick is walking me to my door... he is telling me how he had such a wonderful time, best date ever, yada yada (I'm thinking dude, I ignored you ALL night, did your last date flog you or something that this was BETTER?????) And then he says the words I have been dreading all night.... "Can I you?" And I am gagging inside, seriously about to loose my dinner at this point but thinking, well, he did pay, it's the LEAST... and I mean LEAST I can do, right?) So I say... ok... Now, Erick is about 6'2" and I'm all of about 5'2" and as I am trying to lift my arms up and around his neck, he lunges in and plants one on me with his ENORMOUS MICK JAGGER AND STEVEN TYLER GOT NOTHING ON THIS BOYS lips.... and all I am concious of is the fact that because he rushed it, my arms never got over his head... so my elbows are now in his EFFING EARS.... and OMG OMG OMG... COVERED IN EAR WAXXXXXXXXXX
Oh.. did I mention he was wearing a shit brown tux with crushed velvet on the lapels and the sides of the trousers... and a peach shirt with brown on the edges of the ruffles? THE ONLY boy there that wasn't wearing a classic black tuxedo with a cumberband/tie that matched his dates dress. Boy was clueless. Absolutely clueless. The Monday after prom.... he tried to pinch my ass in the hallway. Damn near got his hand broke for that