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The "C" word

posted 7/21/2007 11:21:31 PM |
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I've dealt with this word many times in my lifetime. It's nothing new. You hear it on the news or tv daily, see it in the papers. But until the word is spoken to you, as in you may possibly have cancer, you have no idea the impact it will have on you, your family and even your friends and coworkers. As some of you know I recently had to have biopsies done on my cervix and uterus. The week of waiting for the results was nearly unbearable. Only to be told that the samples taken were too small and didn't survive the testing, so they can't rule out cancer and they can't tell what stage it is in. So therefore Monday morning I go back in for yet more snipping. It all started when I went for my yearly exam. By yearly, yes I go every single year, without fail. I've always felt it was far too important to pass on. This year I was told that it showed some abnormal cells, some atypical squamous cells. Now I had this once years ago, it was an abnormal pap smear, the Dr. merely had me come back in three months and retest. No big deal, every thing was fine. This time I wasn't given the three month reprieve, I was told to come back in less than a week and have another check up. This one involved cameras, solutions that the Dr. swore were made of common vinegar and I swore they were acid. The procedure itself was not that painful but the after effects were hell. Severe cramping for days upon days. And then there is the waiting. Waiting. Jumping every time the phone rings, only to see that it's not the Dr. office calling with results. You finally give up and call them when it's been a week and they tell you to keep waiting. Then they finally call and tell you that you have to go through it all over again! But I think that the hardest part of all is how your family and friends react. This is when you find out who really cares about you. So many of you on here have been so supportive and it is appreciated, more than you will ever know. For there are many that you know in "real life" that simply say "oh no, you're gonna be fine, it's nothing at all" or they simply tell you they are sorry to hear it and turn away from you, or say nothing at all. I think that hurts the most of all, that people that are supposed to love you and care about you, can simply walk away when the "c" word is spoken out loud. It's one word that strikes fear, loathing and pity all in one fell swoop.

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Jul 21 @ 11:26PM  
OH Jinglin Jebus.. so they have to do the whole thing over again? Darlin I AM sorry.. ignant culls.

Yer still on the prayer list so.. that's a lil something anyway. HUGS.. and still awaiting the all's clear.

Jul 21 @ 11:28PM  
Stormy, you and I have talked about this of course your scared, hell i would be too and have been being diagnosed several times with precancer cells and having to have D&C's time and time again. And i wont tell you not to worry, I am worried for you also. My mother use to say dont borrow trouble, but sometimes we rent a little. So this is what I am going to tell you, You have become a really good friend of mind, and I am here for you no matter what the results and I will not walk away for any reason you need me im here. People are scared of that C word (hell you know what i thought this blog was about when i saw that dont you ) they are afraid they may catch someone else's bad luck. But i am here whenever you need me for support for friendship to rant at I am here. And i share your worry.

Luvs ya sweetie.

Jul 21 @ 11:29PM  
Yes you are right I think it is probably the scariest word in the English language. And platitudes from people how ever well meant don't help. It wont be all right until you know the results.
Is there any way when the test is redone on monday you can ask for them to expediate the results the amount of time you are waiting seems extreme to me. Back in Australia when they diagnosed my abnormal cells they did the test and I was in surgery for the removal of my uterus with in 3 days. I don't understand the delay with you.
Try as hard as you can to push for faster results especially based on how long you have waited now.
Love you girl and I will help you and talk anytime you need to rant or cry or whatever..... Kimmie.

Jul 21 @ 11:32PM  
fuckin doctors...........
i got another friend on here........dealin with this thing too........
i think the hard part for family n friends is the inability to do ANYTHING

Jul 21 @ 11:37PM  
You know what I went through.....not easy bein' a woman is it??
Try your best to stay positive....I know it's scary....

Jul 21 @ 11:43PM  
AWWWWW Sweetie... C'mere and have a seat next to me. I will hold your hand while you wait for the results and if they are positive we can be chemo buddies and yell and scream together.

Nobody *wants* to hear the C word... It's the scariest word on the planet next to the word death and many people simply don't know what to say or how to react when they hear the news.

My family and friends here in the "real" world have circled the wagons and are driving me absolutely INSANE smothering me in concern.

Thank GOD for the sane folks around here who treat me like a NORMAL person. I would probably flip completely out and start killing people in their sleep if it wasn't for the people who care enough to be concerned without smothering me and who care enough to treat me the same way that they did *before* they found out about the cancer.

I'm here if you need me.

Jul 21 @ 11:44PM  
Thanks ya'll, for the prayers, the thoughts, the words of encouragement.
This is the reason that no matter how tired I was last night I had to go to the Relay for Life walk. The reason that I pounded the concrete for nearly 9 straight hours, standing by only to cheer on the survivors during their lap! There was no way I could stay home last night, I had to be there to show my support and to help raise more money for the cure. I'm a part of it every year and this year was not going to be any different!

Jul 21 @ 11:48PM  
being a 2 time cancer survivor...i know exactly how you feel. 1999, I had stage 1 Pappilary Thyroid Cancer...removed Thyroid, had 2 huge doses of Radiation Therapy. 2000, i found out i had Stage 3 Dysplasia...last stage wouldv'e been full blown Cervical Cancer...i had laser surgery to remove all the bad cells, every 3 months for 1 year of Pap Tests. Wasnt enjoyable...but i am still here.

It is the hardest word to hear. But thankfully i found out early enough with both..I have been cancer free since.

Call call call and keep them on the phone...or better yet. Just go to the office and demand some answers. Prayers are with you.

Jul 22 @ 12:01AM  
scooter the worst part is not knowing............sometimes my patience is about as long as.......well you know........ and let's say i won't be drilling for oil anytime soon........ so just know i am doing all i can in the thoughts and prayers catagory.......

Jul 22 @ 12:06AM  
I am sorry to read what you are experiencing. I will hold you in my thoughts in the upcoming week.

Jul 22 @ 12:13AM  
Stormy, you are on my mind and in my prayers,Sweetie. If you need to rant or talk, I'm right here. I know how long that wait period is......every hour seems like 6 at least. Sending hugs to you...........

Jul 22 @ 12:45AM  
Your in our prayers, Ladybootscooter

Jul 22 @ 12:58AM  
I too know how you feel, I've been there myself. When you hear them mention the C word you are in full dread, and have no idea what you're gonna do. At the time I heard that dreaded word I had a 5 and a 6 yr old. No one to care for them if something happened to me. I was divorced from a deadbeat dad and no grandparents to care for them. But thankfully I beat it, I'm now healthy as a horse. Prayers to you darlin, I hope you are better soon and also healthy as a horse. lol If you need a shoulder, I have some broad ones. Let me know what you need. D

Jul 22 @ 1:28AM  

Jul 22 @ 1:55AM  
good luck sugar

thinking of you....

if you need to scream, let us know, we will listen


Jul 22 @ 8:52AM  
scooter I'm sorry to hear about what's going on ..... I will hope and pray that everything turns out ok. If yopu need an ear to sound off on I'll volunteer toi be that too .. I have seen what cancer can do ... So yes i am here if you want me

Jul 22 @ 9:14AM  
oohh one last i keep positive thoughts....i wanted to remind you ....''you need to be to wrk early MONDAY for your lessons BUT i've decided to give you your rise (never knew she was lackin in that ) and your lessons are.....oh fuck it ok...FREE'' BUT ........makin the coffee is STILL your up .......your gona need it" ...slurrrrps up sexratarys leg to make her think of some good stuff *

oh here's one of my super shiney special kudos for you........

Jul 22 @ 9:29AM  
Be strong, keep your head up and think positive, I have worked in surgery now for 20 years and a positive attitude makes a big difference in more ways than one. And yes you find your true friends. But today's technology is amazing and there are many options. Remember ask your doc questions and do always take no for an answer. Good luck to you and you have my invisible support.

Jul 22 @ 9:51AM  
It's all down to mental attitude. If you let it get to you then you will make yourself feel worse so try to remain positive and determined to beat it. I know this is easier said than done and I have lost a great deal of people I loved and respected to this disease but I have every faith that you will beat it and I hope and pray that you stay strong and I will be sending all good thoughts to help you through this difficult time.

Jul 22 @ 11:21AM  
I believe in the positive attitude approach. and i'm positive things will go well.

Jul 22 @ 11:31AM  
You have my thoughts and prayers... and an ear anytime you need to rant or cry!

Jul 22 @ 11:58AM  
Thanks for all the words of encouragment. It helps to hear from so many survivors! Oh and Boss.........
''you need to be to wrk early MONDAY for your lessons
Did I forget to mention I'll be late for work on Monday?? Gotta go back for another snip, snip session doncha know!

Jul 22 @ 12:36PM  
dayum woman I am so sorry, keep your chin up I also go every year for the crap the "C" word also runs in my family my mom has 3 sisters that lost both breasts so I try to keep up and yeah been 2 yrs since I quit smokin. If you need to hollar more I'm also available for you

Jul 22 @ 1:08PM  

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The "C" word