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Take the Man Test

posted 7/19/2007 2:13:48 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: joke, test
  Blueyesprkln

The Man Test!


1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

* * *

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
you've both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual
relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

* * *

3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sportscenter.

* * *

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would
agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever
find out about.

* * *

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex
with is:

A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

* * *

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.
You tell her that it is:

A. Of no importance to your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

* * *

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. A moron

* * *

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. Appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

* * *

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
at the end of a relationship?

A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the
beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

* * *

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope
with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first
place.

* * *

Evaluating Your Results:

If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

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Comments:

post a comment!

NightOfOld

Jul 19 @ 3:33AM  
Sorry !

I answered A 9 out of ten.
I think C makes you an ass, not a man.
Real men do not treat women that way.

pleased2meetu

Jul 19 @ 3:35AM  
ten C's for me. that was very funny a kudo 4 u.

now those could be the reasons my wife divorced me.
sumdaysoon

Jul 19 @ 6:24AM  
when do i find out if i "passed".......
tetons

Jul 19 @ 7:47AM  
i gotta get me some orange juice. apparently not enough C in my diet! I'm such a woos.
tetons

Jul 19 @ 7:48AM  
Oh Yeah: "takin' the pigskin bus to tuna town" !! too good!!
freebirdie

Jul 19 @ 8:50AM  
Night!
baldbychoice2kx

Jul 19 @ 9:19AM  
I answered all 10 with A. I'm sure jj would agree, but I'm definitely a man.
anomader

Jul 19 @ 10:31AM  
Oh Yeah: "takin' the pigskin bus to tuna town" !! too good!!

....see guys don't always think women are just a warm place to jerk off!
Blueyesprkln

Jul 19 @ 10:35AM  
Thanks guys for taking my test, but the results were a little skewed. You see the real men would've answered A and the pigs would've answered C. Sorry, but if I had put that as the answers would you have still answered the same way? For all you romantic, loving guys that admitted picking A as the correct answer, I commend you for being the Men that you are.
anomader

Jul 19 @ 10:42AM  
I didn't answer any of the questions because it really depends on who you are with at the time and what you view things together. So I guess my answer is D.

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