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Work Regulations or A Day in the Life of a Busy Sexetary

posted 7/18/2007 10:27:20 PM |
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  ladybootscooter

Today had started out like any other, overslept just enough to make me rush to keep from being late. I got a run in my hose somewhere between home and the office. Damn, I hate when that happens. Oh well to hot for hose today anyway. I run into the office to get the coffee going. Ya'll know how much the boss likes his morning coffee! I had put on a couple of pots as it seems we have more visitors to the office lately. Dashed into the ladies room and stripped off the hose, wondering if this skirt is long enough to cover? Grabbed the pitcher and got some water for the plants, booted up all the computers and was starting to go through the mail when I saw the envelope. It didn't look that much different from any others in the pile sitting there on my desk, but the return address sent chills through me. I approached it with trepidation, unsure if I should open it or wait for the Boss to come in. Finally working up the courage I reached for it slowly, picking up my letter opener and gently easing the sharp point under the well stuck flap. I slid it slowly along the top, fearful of cutting the contents inside. When it was opened at last I lay down the opener and glanced at the folded contents inside. I lay the envelope down on my desk as I thought I might need some coffee before I dare to read what lay written inside. I was just coming back from the kitchen with my mug full to the brim when I heard the Boss's car come roaring into the parking lot. I quickly sat down my mug on the warmer by my desk, as I hate cold coffee. Shuffling the opened letter under the pile as he came blustering through the door. I hurried to the coffee pot and poured him his mug and brought it to him as he was settling in the big leather chair behind his desk. He asked about new applications, so I handed him the stack we had received the day before, slid some checks in front of him to be signed and when his phone rang made my way back to my desk and the dreaded letter.
I had seen the letterhead many times before when I had owned a construction company. The mere mention of the name brought fear to the most seasoned contractor. But what interest could they possibly have with our office?
I could hear the Boss on the phone still so I quickly pulled the envelope out from under that stack, pulled out the letter and started to read:

Dear Mr. Y Not,
This letter is to advise you that the Occupational Safety and Health Act of 1970 requires, in part, that every employer covered under the Act furnish to his employees employment and a place of employment which are free from recognized hazards that are causing or are likely to cause death or serious physical harm to his employees. The Act also requires that employers comply with occupational safety and health standards promulgated under the Act, and that employees comply with standards, rules, regulations and orders issued under the Act which are applicable to their own actions and conduct.

Due to a recent inspection of your facilities it has recently come to our attention that you are in numerous violations of the Act.

It was noted there were various "personal massagers” lying about and batteries rolling about on the floor. These are a fall hazard and must be stored in a safe manner or disposed upon disuse. It is noted no adequate storage was provided.

There were large amounts of a slick lubricant type substance all over the floors and most of the office furniture. This may result in falls and injuries to employees. We saw no fall prevention plans posted to alert employees to this danger.

Several holes in the walls that appeared to be caused from something or someone being rammed into them head first, these pose a safety hazard. In addition, a grab handle shall be provided on each side of these openings with its center approximately 4 feet above floor level and of standard strength and mounting. Wall opening grab handles shall be not less than 12 inches in length and shall be so mounted as to give 3 inches clearance from the side framing of the wall opening. The size, material, and anchoring of the grab handle shall be such that the completed structure is capable of withstanding a load of at least 200 pounds applied in any direction at any point of the handle.

There were several spots on various walls and floor coverings that appeared to have been scorched by a recent exposure to a very high level of heat. Our inspector found no fire plans posted. An employer must inform employees upon initial assignment to a job of the fire hazards to which they are exposed. An employer must also review with each employee those parts of the fire prevention plan necessary for self-protection.

There was inadequate ventilation in the waiting rooms as several of the visitors on the day of our inspection appeared to be having trouble breathing normally and were quite literally gasping for air and the windows were quite fogged. Adequate ventilation must be installed to protect employees from unsafe levels of carbon dioxide.

There were also loud screams and moans heard from an inner office that was not inspected that day. We feel we must advise you that revised amendments require that employees be placed in a hearing conservation program if they are exposed to average noise levels of 85 dB or greater during an 8 hour workday. In order to determine if exposures are at or above this level, it may be necessary to measure or monitor the actual noise levels in the workplace and to estimate the noise exposure or "dose" received by employees during the workday.

These conditions must be abated immediately or you shall face citations and or penalties. After, or concurrent with, the issuance of a citation, and within a reasonable time after the termination of the inspection, the Area Director shall notify the employer by certified mail or by personal service by the Compliance Safety and Health Officer of the proposed penalty under section 17 of the Act, or that no penalty is being proposed. Any notice of proposed penalty shall state that the proposed penalty shall be deemed to be the final order of the Review Commission and not subject to review by any court or agency unless, within 15 working days from the date of receipt of such notice, the employer notifies the Area Director in writing that he intends to contest the citation or the notification of proposed penalty before the Review Commission.

Should you have any questions regarding the findings of this inspection please feel free to contact my office.


Sincerely,
Kathy O’Connell
Director OSHA

*wonders how I'm gonna break this to the Boss*







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Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

Jul 18 @ 10:36PM  
Damn LBS that was funny but maybe you should post this before you break the news to him






Btw You get a kudos for this cause I am too confused on the issue of free sex for them.
ShadowsAngel

Jul 18 @ 10:39PM  
I think ya just did.
ynot7769

Jul 18 @ 10:43PM  
*walks over to her desk to get the stapler since she seems sooo engrossed in work n a mail n notices a letter .........hmmm........slips it outa the pile n peruses it........"WTF!?!?!?!?" 'why didnt you tell me we were inspected? shit...'' ponders a sec as the sexratary wonders weather to squat or roll away in her chair......snaps fingers...'' i got it...call em up and set up an interview with this bitch Kathy O’Connell
Director OSHA......ill take care of the rest..and make sure you show her to interview room 666" n heads back to desk snickering *
ladybootscooter

Jul 18 @ 10:47PM  
I'm right on that boss, just as soon as I have my coffee break!
ynot7769

Jul 18 @ 10:49PM  
"follow me....let me show you room 666 for your coffee break.......most have only read about it........and i'm sure you'll like this........as you been wanting a rise......"
ladybootscooter

Jul 18 @ 10:52PM  
Boss, I said a raise, as in more pay for all the work I do around here!
ynot7769

Jul 18 @ 10:58PM  
*somewhat hard of hearing (among other things)...''yeah yeah i know i'm gona give you a rise dam it....he'll i'm bout to give you a 3 1/2hr coffee break so c'mon damn it..let's git to it" n opens the door to room 666*
ladybootscooter

Jul 18 @ 11:01PM  
Will I need my dictation equipment??
Ewe_Wish

Jul 18 @ 11:02PM  
Damn LBS dont tell me he has you in room 666 already?

ladybootscooter

Jul 18 @ 11:07PM  
OH thank God you got here when you did Dayna!!! You wouldn't happen to have any Trollium jelly with you would you???
NightOfOld

Jul 18 @ 11:12PM  

You need more than trollium jelly
ynot7769

Jul 18 @ 11:16PM  
*removes her gag ....only to be replaced...................with a sip of coffee....''well hell didn't ya'll think i'd give her a sip of coffee before da cream??" *
ladybootscooter

Jul 18 @ 11:18PM  
I think you're just wondering what I can do with a mouthful of hot coffee!!
Ewe_Wish

Jul 18 @ 11:20PM  
Ladybootscooter puts a whole new twist on licking the boss's boots for favors

ynot7769

Jul 18 @ 11:23PM  
I think you're just wondering what I can do with a mouthful of hot coffee!!


"well .umm yes...and gotta tell ya THIS ^^^^^^^ wasn't first on my list but ....keeep at it n work your way up "
ShadowsAngel

Jul 18 @ 11:27PM  
Ynot... I must admit that you look... erm... interesting... in CFM shoes...

TattooedRawkStar

Jul 18 @ 11:28PM  
O I C...had been wondering where all you people were hanging out tonight! Nice blog; creative as all get-out!
ynot7769

Jul 18 @ 11:33PM  
Ynot... I must admit that you look... erm... interesting... in CFM shoes...


hey i dont seem to have much say in what i wear i just show up for work
ShadowsAngel

Jul 18 @ 11:39PM  
i dont seem to have much say in what i wear i just show up for work

I thought ya preferred to work nude anyway...
ynot7769

Jul 18 @ 11:43PM  
I thought ya preferred to work nude anyway...

well sure woulda worked better thats for sure...*pulls tback outta ass crack for the 5th time*
ladybootscooter

Jul 18 @ 11:50PM  
...*pulls tback outta ass crack for the 5th time*
Need some help with that Boss???
ynot7769

Jul 19 @ 12:10AM  
Need some help with that Boss???

damn right...gonna need outta this damn outfit
Ewe_Wish

Jul 19 @ 12:12AM  
damn right...gonna need outta this damn outfit
you need to start wearing speedos like Max!!!
ynot7769

Jul 19 @ 12:27AM  
you need to start wearing speedos like Max!!!

after the comments about chest and NOW you want me in speedo's ??? are you sure
ladybootscooter

Jul 19 @ 12:28AM  
yeah and a nice close "buns" pic!!!
ynot7769

Jul 19 @ 12:29AM  
yeah and a nice close "buns" pic!!!

damn...ya'll .... i'm bit shy
ladybootscooter

Jul 19 @ 12:32AM  
Out of 15 pics, 12 are of your cock in various degrees of dressed and undressed?? Don't play that shy card with me!!!
ynot7769

Jul 19 @ 12:33AM  
Out of 15 pics, 12 are of your cock in various degrees of dressed and undressed?? Don't play that shy card with me!!!

ooohhh no almost all are dressed
ladybootscooter

Jul 19 @ 12:36AM  
ooohhh no almost all are dressed
Granted only 2 out of the twelve are "nekkid" but almost only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades!!!
ynot7769

Jul 19 @ 12:41AM  
ladybootscooter

Jul 19 @ 12:55AM  
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH a six finger scolding!!!!
hmmmm room 666??
Six finger scolding???
I'm starting to see a pattern here!!!
Ewe_Wish

Jul 19 @ 1:34AM  
after the comments about chest and NOW you want me in speedo's ??? are you sure
Oh sure make a comment to the chest shot, you only leave it up there cause you know it drives me crazy.
Looking4ever

Jul 19 @ 2:02AM  
Y'all are sick & twisted....I like that about you!
Ewe_Wish

Jul 19 @ 8:57AM  
Y'all are sick & twisted....I like that about you!
We like that about you too, L4E.
ladybootscooter

Jul 19 @ 9:02AM  
We like that about you too, L4E
Yeah we do!!

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Work Regulations or A Day in the Life of a Busy Sexetary