I just read this and I wish it were true.I know it would make moviegoing a whole lot more enjoyable. Anyonelse have movie theater "horror stories" to share? 
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Blogs by lunanegra:
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| Rules of Conduct for Movie Theaters. |
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Ashinatrix
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Jul 16 @ 6:07PM
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Babies do not belong in a movie theater. They belong at home with a babysitter or trusted family member. If you cannot find a sitter or trusted family member, then you will stay home with the baby. Which part of this is difficult to understand?
(b) Children under the age of four will not be allowed entry into a theater. Point blank. A three-year-old is simply too young to sustain the attention span required by the average-length feature film (90 minutes to 2 hours). I don't care if you think your kid is unusually gifted and bright. Every parent says that. I have yet to meet a parent whose toddler is not unusually gifted and bright. In fact, over the last 20 years or so, there has apparently been a spectacular rise in the number of unusually gifted and bright preschoolers. They are everywhere. I often wonder where these unusually gifted and bright toddlers go, because there hasn't been a parallel rise in unusually gifted and bright adults.
AfuckingMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
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tetons
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Jul 16 @ 6:23PM
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c'mon, you're not old enough to feel like that. they're just stupid kids, raised by stupid parents.
now if their parents were lined up outside the theatre, so we could kick 'em in the nuts on the way out, i might feel like i got my money's worth. 
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lunanegra
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Jul 16 @ 7:02PM
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One of the commenters said that they tend to have a ban on bringing underage children after a certain hour.If only it were true in most places.
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Argit01
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Jul 16 @ 7:23PM
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Too fucking funny for words but strangely true. I like the metal detector idea and seat sensors but they should add a tazer type electrical charge to the seat of the offending person or persons too.
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CrazyCraveman
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Jul 16 @ 7:42PM
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Nope, can't say I have any movie theater "horror stories" to share...in fact since E. T. (1982) I've only been to a theatre to see...
Rocky V (1990)
Wayne's World (1992)
Walk the Line (2005)
Yes, you're right...I don't go to see movies in theatre's. I wait for them to come out on DVD so I can watch them, and MORE importantly, HEAR them in the comforts of my own home...
Pop'em into my Kenwood Surround Sound Stereo/Home Theatre System... 
I will add one thing, it's a bit off topic...but not really.
Having been a manager/bartender/bouncer for 8 years of my life...I HATE it when parents bring their children to the bar...then sit there and complain to another patron that he or she should watch his or hers language...
WHAT?! 
Perhaps these parents should keep their young children the HELL OUT OF THE BARS!!  
In fact, at 2 of the 3 bars I worked at. NO CHILDREN no matter how old (well, under the age of 18 anyhow) were NOT ALLOWED in the bars after a certain time.
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LilGriz
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Jul 16 @ 8:09PM
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There used to be a theater in my area that had a special room for parents with underage children. It was soundproofed and had a special enterance, with play areas.
For the gifted and talented Ash, I just believe our standards have gone way down.
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lndn
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Jul 16 @ 8:31PM
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No, just no!!
a pretty ignorant blog, people with small kids have the rights to go see a movie as we do. I may not like, it, but its their rights.
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lunanegra
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Jul 16 @ 8:35PM
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I like the metal detector idea and seat sensors but they should add a tazer type electrical charge to the seat of the offending person or persons too.
Yeah,but what if it were in the wrong hands though?
Having been a manager/bartender/bouncer for 8 years of my life...I HATE it when parents bring their children to the bar...then sit there and complain to another patron that he or she should watch his or hers language... I hate it when people have the nerve to complain like that
There used to be a theater in my area that had a special room for parents with underage children. It was soundproofed and had a special enterance, with play areas. I think all theaters should have that
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lunanegra
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Jul 16 @ 8:40PM
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a pretty ignorant blog, people with small kids have the rights to go see a movie as we do. I may not like, it, but its their rights. Well,I didn't write it.Yes,it is their right to go out and enjoy a movie like everyonelse but as a paying customer we shouldn't have to kowtow and be polite if someone's little hellraiser is making the movie experience unbearable.I say boo to that. 
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borachone
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Jul 16 @ 8:51PM
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Walkin the fence on this one Raised five children and always got compliments on their behavior in public they were taught from the time they could understand me to behave in public we went to many movies AFTER the youngest was able to sit and watch The problem lies with the parents taking children to a movies the kids find entertaining and if they misbehave escort them out and tell them why . I.E. educate them on public behavior I see it more as a parental issue than a child issue Just my take on this
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REdx111
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Jul 16 @ 9:22PM
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back when i was about 14-16 i got kicked out of every movie theater in the area cause i did some of the stuff on that list
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lunanegra
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Jul 16 @ 10:21PM
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educate them on public behavior I see it more as a parental issue than a child issue Just my take on this I agree.The problem lies with the parent and not the children,as the children cant help how they are.Just wanted you to know that I didn't write the article,so the expressed opinions of the author don't reflect my own
back when i was about 14-16 i got kicked out of every movie theater in the area cause i did some of the stuff on that list So that was you? Kidding 
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whisperingcomet
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Jul 17 @ 12:25AM
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Althought, I told myself to never drink and blog again, I must....I live near one of the last drive ins, with great burgers to boot. Bring your kids, bring your dogs, hell, bring your beer.
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lunanegra
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Jul 17 @ 1:53AM
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I wish it were like that.I miss our old drive-in theater  
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zipzag
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Jul 17 @ 6:42AM
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The solution is simple that even a caveman can do it! If the child either a boy or girl can’t go to the restroom on his or her own they shouldn’t be in the theater. If the boy can’t reach the urinal he shouldn’t be in the theater. If the girl doesn’t know if she needs to go # 1 or # 2 she shouldn’t be in the theater. If either one can’t wash their hands by reaching the soap dispenser they shouldn’t be in the theater. So even the caveman would suggest that all movie theaters add this to their signs:
GO IN PEACE OR DON’T GO TO THE THEATER.
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ynot7769
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Jul 17 @ 8:31AM
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c'mon, you're not old enough to feel like that. they're just stupid kids, raised by stupid parents.
now if their parents were lined up outside the theatre, so we could kick 'em in the nuts on the way out, i might feel like i got my money's worth.
ok...can we impliment THIS for ALL public places? *sign* "ALL uncontrolled or attended childrens parents will take 2 kicks" 
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lunanegra
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Jul 17 @ 3:58PM
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The solution is simple that even a caveman can do it! If the child either a boy or girl can’t go to the restroom on his or her own they shouldn’t be in the theater. If the boy can’t reach the urinal he shouldn’t be in the theater. If the girl doesn’t know if she needs to go # 1 or # 2 she shouldn’t be in the theater. If either one can’t wash their hands by reaching the soap dispenser they shouldn’t be in the theater.
What if they're Little People?
ok...can we impliment THIS for ALL public places? *sign* "ALL uncontrolled or attended childrens parents will take 2 kicks" even the women get punted in the vagina?
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Wordsofwit
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Jul 28 @ 6:41AM
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Being that this is an older blog, no one but you will read this.
It is not so much at the movies, but more so restaurants...brats and crying babies. It extends out to going shopping also.
I blame the parents as they tend to ignore the behavior. When I was growing up as well as with my daughter: You act up in public, it is your ass and the parent's hand. And it won't happen again, because you ain't going. The biggest crime, short of murder, that you could commit was embarassing your parents in public.
I have had my seating in restaurants changed because of this.
In the case of the squalling baby, it is not the baby's fault obviously. But I don't want to hear it.
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TattooedRawkStar
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Aug 2 @ 11:58PM
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It's simply bad parenting. I take my young child to the theater all the time; the very moment the movie doesn't hold her interest, we leave. And she knows it.
That is how parents should be. You're the boss, not the kid.
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lunanegra
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Aug 3 @ 12:30AM
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That is how parents should be. You're the boss, not the kid. Amen to that. 
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lolthisistoofunny
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Feb 23 @ 9:35PM
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Amen! Children do NOT belong in a movie theater that is showing movies meant for adults to see! And I'm talking according to the age rating.
Here's some more rules, while we're on a roll...
1. Leave your damned cell phone OFF! No one gives a rat's ass that you saw Stefanny's baby daddy with some other girl's boo.
2. SHUT THE HELL UP!! This is a movie theater, and most people are there to watch the MOVIE, not listen to you and and your friends carrying on conversations at the top of your lungs.
3. If you come in late to the movie, get seated as quickly and quietly as possible and try to open your candy and stuff with a modicum of respect for the other patrons.
4. No matter how much you might think to the contrary...the characters in the movie cannot HEAR YOU! Get it??? So yelling, "OMFG, Girlfriend, don't EVEN go down into that dark basement, because the monster's down there!!!!!" no matter how many times, is going to ever work. She CANNOT HEAR YOU!! So give it up.
5. Kick the back of my damn chair one more time and you die.
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