OK I was really bored that night...I also sent this off to Symantec. I wonder how many people at their office THIS circulated to in a company memo....
(I figured if I am going to take the time to write to them I would make it fun...)
20330 Stevens Creek Blvd.
Cupertino, CA 95014-2132
I hear you are the computer antivirus people. Claire Voorhees informed me. She is a good authority when it comes to information that I do not know since she is my ex wife and she knows everything.
I am writing to you today to see if you can help me but you must be very careful with this letter!! I do not want it to infect your computers since I was unable to scan it with antivirus software. I do not know where you can purchase a computer attachment that scans printed letters for computer viruses. I asked the people at Circuit City but they just kind of looked at each other. Obviously they were untrained individuals. I’m thinking maybe they were just really stupid.
I went up to Circuit city and saw boxes and boxes of this Nortons stuff that is marketed by you. In no instance did I see any attachment included in your software for scanning a document that has been printed for computer viruses. For all I know this letter you hold in your hand right now this very instant could have Blaster or the wicked worm W32.Fujacks.E hidden in the black ink just waiting to spring on unsuspecting victims and change all of your screen fonts into Hobbits. Is it possible for these computer viruses to infect people too? I have been feeling a little bit sick lately and I think I may have contracted a severe case of W32.Mytob.RD@mm. It only happened after I started printing out letters on my computer which is most likely infected with three billion computer viruses since it is against my religion (up until a week ago) to use antivirus software. Have you scanned this letter yet??? Why not?? I can’t believe you would put your computer systems at risk like that!!!
Please tell me where I can purchase the printed document scanner attachment. You certainly must have that in your inventory. I don’t want to have to contact McAfee and buy from them instead. I have already written this letter!!! I’d have to go back and change a lot of things!! I am sure you don’t want me to have to get carpal tunnel or something fatally annoying just because I had to edit a letter!! Have you scanned this letter yet?? You haven’t? What are you thinking??!! Hurry up!! I don’t want a Trojan horse appearing and releasing hordes of the Covenant (or worse yet---The Flood) upon your kingdom!!
Sincerely awaiting your reply,
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
read more blogs!