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I Can't Stand...

posted 7/15/2007 9:13:27 PM |
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tagged: family, moms, hatred

I can't stand 'supermoms'. I used to think that I would be one of those women who could clean every mess, keep all the laundry done up, keep the house in an immaculate state, work, go to school, go to church, raise and be a good mother to my kids and a good wife to my husband.

Heh. Then my daughter learned how to walk. And soon after she learned how to walk, she learned how to eat all 'by herself!' (at least she THOUGHT so). We moved from a two story town house to a one story house, which I LOVE, but for some reason it's a little harder to keep up with when you can't hide everything in your bedroom upstairs if the neighbors are coming over or you need a quick cleaning fix.

We'll have been here two years this September. The carpet is in desperate need of deep cleaning. I have a steam cleaner but I am too pregnant to push it, so I took the easy way out- and the rather expensive way, as well, and called up Stanley Steamer to do it. They are coming this Friday. I was going to have my husband do it with ours but I recall the one time I asked him to clean a room and he came out with it looking dirtier than it did when he went in. I don't think he was actually changing the water enough. Or did he even change it? Heh.

So here I am pregnant, and I am nesting, and I am dying to get up and clean out all the closets and clean the floors and have a gargantuan yard sale,clean out all my cabinets and rearrange the whole kitchen... but I can't. I have a hard time getting up and going to the bathroom. Yesterday I took a walk with my daughter through the neighborhood and down the trail and back. She was riding the cool new groovy girl scooter she got for her birthday. I was waddling along behind her. When we finally made it home after a two hour walk/ride - she wanted to go again! Let me tell you, it's hard to explain to a three year old that if you take another step you're going to either A) fall flat on your face or B)Go into premature labor. I told her I was tired and she said "But I'm NOT TIRED!" - well, go figure. You rode the whole way, knucklehead.

I have a friend who has four kids all under the age of six. She has a five year old son, a two year old son, and twin newborn boys. For some reason her house is ALWAYS immaculate. I never see dirty laundry in her bins and her kids are always dressed to the nines. Granted she doesn't do any work outside the home - and really neither does her live in boyfriend (except for Temp Jobs) - but I'd sure as heck love to be able to keep my house in that condition. Right now there is a load of laundry on the loveseat begging to be folded (it's mostly whites, i.e. socks and underwear, so it won't wrinkle) and a load still in the dryer actually getting wrinkled. I am also soaking a load of doilies/table cloths/ furniture throws that I got from Granny's house today (We went through her things. More crying time for me. We took home a lot of the angels and dolls we gave her) in some bleach water. I'd actually go shut the lid and let them cycle through if I knew I wasn't going to go to bed and pass out from being sleep deprived here in about ten minutes. I just remembered, though, that one of her friends goes over and helps her a lot with her kids. People stopped helping me with B when she stopped soiling her diaper so much and started soiling the carpet. She'll sneak a soda or a bottle of juice and have it opened in a skinny minute. And in a skinny minute there is more on the carpet than in her tummy. I don't know how Dan & his Sis made it through childhood, their mother is such a neat freak.

There are Moms at my niece's and nephew's school that have school age kids, toddlers, babies, jobs, and a book club. They go to wine tasting socials and I'm still figuring out how to get the grape juice out of one of B's pairs of pants... and the carpet. The closest I am coming to actually getting to go to a wine tasting social is just letting the carpet and pants ferment and taking a good intoxicating whif of them. I want to shoot the Mommies who do all this and still look like they had time to tan and don all their expensive Mary Kay make-up and get a hairstyle this very morning at the beauty parlor. I honestly, literally, want to take a small gun and shoot them. I don't want to kill them. I just want to mess with their perfection.

Maybe someday I'll achieve their perfection. Maybe not. But I have come to realize that I am getting to be OK with that, I said GETTING to be... Oh I still hate them, with a passion. But I no longer want to be one of them. I want to let the housework go and spend the afternoon watching my daughter chase butterflies or splash around in the swimming pool. I want to spend the evening on the couch with popcorn and soda, curled up next to my husband watching old Twilight Zone episodes. I don't want to worry about how many toys are in the floor when I leave to go to the doctor or how many toys will still be there when I get back. Or how many layers of dust reside on the furniture. I want to get to it - when I get to it. I can honestly promise myself, unless the cleaning fairies come or someone hires Merry Maids for me for my birthday - both extremely unlikely - I can honestly promise myself it will still be there when I get there. Until then, let me say...

SCREW IT. And as for the supermoms, I respect you... but SCREW YOU, TOO!


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post a comment!


Jul 15 @ 9:20PM  
I feel the Same Way!!!

Jul 15 @ 9:31PM  
<<<<<< never made it to that status....... but I do have friends that tell me , I should be able to mow the lawn , change the oil in the car, mend and fix, and oh yea stay feminine......... I dont t hink God aimed for me to have all that energy .

Good blog

Jul 15 @ 9:35PM  
Kris, I understand! I used to be so "anal" about my house! Everything was in perfect order all the time, then I had my son and he learned to move around and make messes! But I stayed on top of them, going without sleep if that's what it took to keep the perfect house, work full time, go back to school part time and still raise my son as a single parent. But then the night came when I woke him up cleaning the oven at 1:30 in the morning, couldn't sleep since something had ran over while cooking dinner. He comes stumbling sleepy eyed into the kitchen and asked me why I couldn't be like other moms! Just relax and spend some time doing things with him instead of always cleaning when I was home!? After that day I learned to relax alot more, clean a little less! We enjoyed our time together much more than a spotless house! Hang in there girl, you don't have to be super mom to be a great mom!!!

Jul 16 @ 12:56AM  
Kris did you ever wonder if those women have maids and a husband that makes really good money to pay for it? I'd bet they do. The reason their kids clothes don't have any stains on them is Grandma buys them new ones when they stain the ones they have on. Or either she's a whiz with stain remover. (my mom was, she could get any stain out of anything) Don't sweat it girl, some of us have it some of us don't. I still happen to be one that doesn't, and could give a rats ass less. If you're coming to my house to see a clean one, stay at home, at least until my daughter and her family moves out again. Cause when they are here my house stays filthy.

Jul 16 @ 1:01AM  
Kris I raised four sons. I never ever made it to supermom status. My house was always messy things always needed picking up. BUT I have four grown men who love me who value the time I spent with them as they grew up. Who know that they mattered more in my life than spotless floors or tidy bedrooms. They didnt die from germs or disease. I learnt that my house didnt have to look like something out of vogue it just needed to stay clean enough to be hygenic.
Enjoy your time with your children and just do what you can. You will never get the time with them over. Make it count the first time......... Kimmie.

Jul 16 @ 5:32AM  
When I had my baby( who is not a baby anymore) I thought I was going to be The Perfect Mom There is no such thing. When she was little I was right behind her picking up toys, cleaning all the time, ect. After the 1st two years I gave up. I thought the HELL with it. I did more things with my child and less time on the house. I kept the house picked up. At the end of the day when she was asleep I would get stuff put away. My house was never spotless. I didn't care.

I am still the same way. I do get around to cleaning. But I take the time to enjoy life 1st. It goes by fast. The kids grow up quick.

Enjoy your children while they are children. The housework can wait.

Jul 16 @ 9:20AM  
one of the first things my brother and his ex-wife taught my neph was how fun it was to clean-up after himself and made a game from thowing stuff in the wastebasket! Then praising him. Getting and using a good door mat saves carpets! Kids can learn clean as well as read. Just had to say....

good luck

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I Can't Stand...