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posted 7/14/2007 9:08:45 PM |
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In this day and time the world can be a very dangerous place for a woman alone. You hear about things happening every day on the news, attacks, rapes, murders. But with recent events here I've began to wonder if a woman alone is ever safe in giving out personal information to someone online or in person. I don't mean your name, there may be 100 people in the US with the same name. I mean your home city, what your profession is, in other words, ways and means for someone that is stalking you to find you, track you down and perhaps do you harm. So I was curious about the ways in which any of you single women, living alone out there, protect yourselves from these predators, whether they be online or "in the real world".........

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Jul 14 @ 9:16PM  
Never thought about it to be truthful. I guess that makes me pretty stupid. But then my friends can barely find my place, without written directions and them calling me on their cell phones when they get lost, so I think a Stalker would have a hard time finding me....thank goodness!!!

Jul 14 @ 9:16PM  
Well, LBS, Your home phone number should be made private and not listed anywhere. The fact is if someone has your phone number there is a dozen free sites that they can do a reverse look up find your phone number and name. If it is unlisted that information is unavailable. Other than that I would just think be careful, meet them in public, and careful who you trust. If you are going to meet someone make sure someone knows where you are going, who you will be with, that persons phone number and any other information that you have. You can never be too safe.

Jul 14 @ 9:18PM  
LadyB is there ever a sure way to protect yourself? A menace can come in many forms....

Jul 14 @ 9:21PM  
Well I am fairly careful I never give out my home number, my cell only to certain people, I have my guns they are loaded, yes I do know how to use them and will not hesitate, I have a large dog outside a small yapping dog inside, my son is as big as a bear and twice as strong. When walking in a public parking lot or area I never look down, I always have my keys with the alarm button in my hand as I walk to my car. I don't mean to sound paranoid, but it pays to be careful!

Jul 14 @ 9:26PM  
Just an aside on what L4F said about phone numbers - make sure it is unlisted, not unpublished. If unpublished, it is still available to directory assistance. Speaking from experience (house fire and as Foster Parents), let the Police and Fire depts. know your number though in case something happens.

In this day and age, if someone wants you bad enough, they will find you - scary, even for us guys.

Jul 14 @ 9:26PM  
I have my guns they are loaded, yes I do know how to use them and will not hesitate, I have a large dog outside a small yapping dog inside, my son is as big as a bear and twice as strong.

shit your safer then me .......

*ponders hidin out at the sexraterys house *

Jul 14 @ 9:31PM  
Hmmmm....where to start.......

I have a shotgun.....always loaded

2 handguns........1 revolver / 1 semiauto....kept in strategically, easily accessed locations...also always loaded

An assortment of hunting and skill is on me at all times

a billy club, couple of axe handles, and a leather encased lead thumper from my sherriff's dept days....

Years ago I was walking into a bar late at night.....a man came out of nowhere and grabbed me from behind. The way he was restraining me, I couldnt get to the knife in my back pocket. But, with keys in hand, I managed to get my truck key thrusted out between my middle and pointer finger while making a fist. I managed to wriggle out of his grasp, whirled around and punched him in the throat stabbing him with it. He grasped at his throat, with his head down, screaming "fucking bitch!!" etc, etc. I took that moment to come at him from the side and puncture his throat again with the key. He stood erect quickly, spraying me with his own blood.....and get this!.....runs into the bar screaming, "Call911! Call 911!!". LOL!!
I walk in a couple of seconds behind him, covered in blood, look at the bartender and say...."I'll take a Bud and a towel." this day, that is still big talk around here

Jul 14 @ 9:34PM  
Damn!!!..........I shoula read the other comments b4 I posted.....I sound vicious!!!!

Jul 14 @ 9:40PM  
Ash, she wanted to know how you protect yourself, not your sex toys

Jul 14 @ 9:41PM  
I have my guns they are loaded, yes I do know how to use them and will not hesitate
Daddy wanted a boy, daddy got me. So until I was about 15 I was the son my dad never had! So I learned to shoot at a very early age, I still have the 22 from my 6th birthday, I also still have my shotgun and rifle from subsequent birthdays. Then there are my pistols and I've scored marksman several times on the range (98 out of 100 bullseyes) Dad always said, shoot first, ask questions later, so far it's served me well.

Jul 14 @ 9:42PM  
@ longbow!!!!!!

Jul 14 @ 9:43PM  
(98 out of 100 bullseyes)
Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!!!

Jul 14 @ 9:56PM  
I'm evil... I tell them exactly where to find me... Conveniently forget to tell them a few pertinent facts... and usually quietly say "come ahead on fool".

I'm not "cocky" about it... I just know things that the average person doesn't around here and know that by the time that someone gets out of their vehicle and makes it to the front door here the police already know who is knocking on my door. I live in a residential area that is VERY high in police officers and am a single woman with children... You ain't NEVER seen the likes of the "watching out for" that I get around these parts. Part of that is because of the number of police officers in the neighborhood and part of it is because the Sheriff is one of my cousins and knows things that I am not willing to discuss on AMD.

Jul 14 @ 10:02PM  
Unfortunately there are losers that do bad things everywhere. I refuse to live my like in fear of them so I just take a few precautions. I don’t give out a lot of personal info online. One of my tests before I trust someone is how much info they give me and if I can verify it first. Reverse directories are great I look up name, phone and address and make sure they all match up. I keep a gun at home, a weirdo whacker in the car (a 4 Dcell mag light... I always wanted to see how much damage one could do to the human skull ) and I just trust my instincts and those of my Doberman. She always has the final say about whether or not I should trust someone.

Jul 14 @ 10:03PM  
Wow. Republican much? Too many damn gun nuts in this world.

Two words: Krav Maga. Look it up, ladies; it'll save you way more efficiently than a gun. Ash's story even proves it; keys were handy, but if you couldn't reach your knife, you couldn't reach your gun. Learn Krav Maga.

Jul 14 @ 10:04PM  
All I have is a hammer beside my bed, and thats about it - as we up in Canada are not allowed to carry arms (besides registered for hunting) I wouldnt even know what to do with a gun, they scare me!

Jul 14 @ 10:09PM  
Republican much?

Nope. Actually I am a Libertarian.

Tell ya what... I will make YOU the same offer that I have made to others just to prove a point... I will give you directions to my front door... and IF You can get to it without my KNOWING you are there I will kiss your ass on the courthouse lawn!

Jul 14 @ 10:11PM  
Well criminy boots.....ya spose this hurt my chances of hookin' a man??!

Jul 14 @ 10:15PM  
Geez, I'm hiring lbs or Ash as a body guard.. lol

Seriously, I totally agreewith L4F. Always keep your phone # unlisted. If someone has it they can gain all sorts of info about you, and sometimes anyone who has lived at that address. Keep that in mind.
I always check out anyone I am willing to talk with.Before I talk with them. I rarely ever give out my #. It is a good idea to have the type of answering machine that you can record someones voice when you are on the phone with them. Keep it for a while, it never hurts.
If your instincts say something is not right, LISTEN and do something about it.Now!
Never put your life or your safety at risk because you might sound silly.
I believe in the shoot first and ask questions later approach.
Ladies you can have lots of help on your keychains.

Jul 14 @ 10:34PM  
Awesome blog LBS.
I have only given my house number to one or two people. Most that get given my number get the cell number so they cant do a reverse search.
I am well protected with two large rottweilers a very yappy alarm system known as a pomeranian.
I have two huge sons who live with me that collect knives swords and axes and a five hundred pound husband that they would have to get past.
I rarely go out alone and if I do I always have a personal alarm on me.
I think these days you can not be too careful of online predators. The nicest person online can turn out to be the biggest physco of all.
As I keep telling you all things are not always as they seem.
Everyone needs to keep themselves protected and safe especially the women on here.
Thankyou again LBS for the awesome blog.

Jul 14 @ 10:41PM  
Well criminy boots.....ya spose this hurt my chances of hookin' a man??!
I don't know about that......Y might be a little more interested now!

Jul 14 @ 11:01PM  
And for shit's sakes never ever meet anyone.. man or woman from an online site without five .. yeah fully five people knowing where you are going, how long you plan to be, the real name of the person you plan to meet, and if the person really wants to meet you they will give you such information as make and model of car they drive... I ask for license plate numbers.. and then check as soon as I arrive at the 'safe' meeting place... if they don't match anything in the parking lot.. no go.

Why five? Because one or two could be called away from home for something but the likelyhood of all five being gone at the same time is pretty slim. Definitely carry a cell with your people on speed dial..

Jul 14 @ 11:12PM

National Sex Offender Registry, free lookups for every state except South Dakota and Oregon (which I believe may be due to more than half the population being offenders; those states it must be easier to find people who AREN'T sex offenders LOL)... Let's not forget, people; if we can spend all day, every day looking for sex partners, we can (and should) spend three minutes and make sure they're not currently wanted in seven states.

Jul 14 @ 11:23PM  
Very good point TRS, here in the state of Missouri you can also go to: once you are there click on, from there you can run a criminal check on anyone in the state. Sex offender searches are good, but only if they have been ordered to register as a sex offender. Violent offenders are not ordered to register! Most states already have this or will have it soon!

Jul 15 @ 12:28AM  
I don't need protection. I'm hiring Ash to come and stay with me...

Jul 15 @ 12:35AM  
I think it is good for women to take care of themselves and be prepared to defend themselves too. I would point out that telling friends all about who and where you are meeting is not enough! By the time the friends realize something is wrong, you could already be dead. If you do not already know how, then learn how to surprise and hopefully defeat an attacker. It is a sad fact of life that the only person that will be immediately there when you need them is you.

Jul 15 @ 2:53AM  
There are freeks every where you go, and it is a shame. It makes it difficult for people to meet. I understand your concerns. My dance club is part of a hotel, and it is a written rule that my employee's have to sign. At not time are they to leave with patronns or to be in a guests room. I have terminated employee's for it and will remain doing so. ( males and females ) Finding guests that have taken there life is one thing, but I don't want to find my employee's. it has happened in the past on escaped with her life ( a lot of paper work for me) and the other found out what happens when some says rape. Please understand that the question at hand is a two way street. we all need to be careful.

Jul 15 @ 8:48AM  
djs makes a good point there are predators of both genders out there Very informative blog

Jul 15 @ 9:06AM  
well guess what?? I pay for an unlisted home number and my male friend told me he googled it and it came back to my address!! So please ladies give out cell numbers not home!!! Luckily for me he's a sweetie and not a pervert

Jul 15 @ 9:39AM  
Great blog LBS!! Kudos

Jul 15 @ 2:55PM  
just a quick point:

men are not immune to predators. while (IMO) men are not nearly as likely to fall victim to some kind of violent plot, there are many scams that will steal your identity, rob your home (while out with your date), or loot your finances. or worse?

I generally follow the same rules that we prescribe for women.
- don't give out traceable personal contact info I give out email first, phone, and then address
- don't give out work/school info (you are easily hunted with this)
- don't have a first meeting alone
- do have a first meeting in the daylight!
- do have a friend actually in sight/earshot for the whole first date
- don't drive your own car
- have another couple friends know where you are
- don't leave drinks unattended!!!!!!!!! - take it with you the the restroom
- do some kind of background check on the person's name, address, & phone number. google knows everything!
- do go somewhere with your friend (that was nearby at your date) and take some time. Go have a cocktail or dinner or a movie or something. Prevent your new date from being able to easily follow you to your home!

USE A PREPAID CELL PHONE like what you get at the 7-11 convenience store. Not traceable to you!!! (and it's disposable) A name and matching phone number are all that's necessary to have almost all of a person's private info.

Jul 16 @ 12:09AM  
does this mean i shouldn't have a total stranger come stay for a week or 2

Jul 16 @ 12:13AM  
*ponders hidin out at the sexraterys house
well you should be safe if you're hidin out here! But let me run a check on her first anyway, 'k???

Jul 16 @ 3:29PM  
Personally, I don't really worry about it. I don't have any reason too. Don't own anything of value(rent this computer.), don't have any real friends or relatives with money to pay ransom or anything. Don't really have a body that invites a rapist...
he probably run away screaming and I'd run after him to come

Jul 17 @ 6:31PM  
Protection, Well first you have to get by all 6 of my dogs 3 shepards,2 rotts and 1 mean vicious box terrier I named Cujo, Get by those and then its 357,colt 45,38 snub noised, 9mm, 3 rifles and 2 shotguns, throwing stars, throwing knives, 2 swords, a machete, andlastbut not least me!!!!!. My 2 sisters and some of my female friends were in bad relationships and my house was a safe house. All of them have moved on and met really good men

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